Scene 4 INT. HEARSE - DAY The back of a hearse - the windows are obscured with huge flower arrangements, the driver’s cabin separated by a partition. In the dark, JUSTIN, a callow, saucer-eyed 18 year old, is screwed up in a ball trying to disappear. He is whispering into his mobile phone to PABLO (late 20s) whose voice is confident and reassuring, but tinged with fear. PABLO (V.O - over phone): Yo, bro, You find a car? JUSTIN: (Whispering into phone) Yeah, yeah. PABLO (V.O): OK, wait 20 minutes, and when it feels like you stopped - hop out and run. And if the engine goes off before that, you jump out and you don't stop running. Ok? JUSTIN: (Into phone) Yeah, just, we might not make it that far that fast, is all. PABLO (V.O): What do you mean? JUSTIN: (Into phone) We’re going pretty slow. PABLO (V.O): What? Shit - I gotta go. I love you, OK. The phone goes dead. Justin uses the light from the screen to explore the inside of the boot. It illuminates a smooth wooden coffin. JUSTIN: (Whispering) Oh, Jesus. I was hoping maybe they hadn’t put you in yet. From the front seat, Justin hears the driver cycling through radio stations until he lands on some CLASSIC EASY LISTENING and turns it right up. As the music plays, Justin lies down flat next to the coffin. He looks either side at the flower arrangements in the window. One side reads ‘Jerry’ in flowers, the other side ‘Grandad’. JUSTIN (CONTD): (Whispering) I’m sorry for crashing your big day. I… None of this is how it was supposed to go. He stares up at the ceiling and exhales. JUSTIN (CONTD): My grandad ain’t gonna be too proud of me. A tear rolls down his cheek and he wipes it away. JUSTIN (CONTD): You better not tell anyone I cried, Jerry. You tell anyone, I’ll kill you. He sniffs. Suddenly, something smashes into the back of the hearse, throwing Justin from side to side. He lies there… confused… petrified. The engine stops. The music cuts out. The driver’s door slams shut. Footsteps. DRIVER (O.S): Oh, man. MAN (O.S): What the hell are you doing? Justin listens to the commotion outside, frozen in fear, his breathing shallow and shaky. DRIVER (O.S): A dog ran right in front of me. MAN (O.S): Yeah, well you’ve trashed my car. Thanks a lot! DRIVER (O.S): What about me? I got a stiff in the back here. MAN (O.S): So what - he’s already dead, in’t he? Justin hears a rattle as someone tries to open the boot. His eyes widen. DRIVER (O.S): You smooshed the catch. How am I meant to get this guy out of here? MAN (O.S): (Irritated) Ahhh, here… As he listens to the men rattling and pulling at the door with increasing resolve, Justin lies - more rigid than Jerry’s corpse - waiting to be discovered.

Feedback #9 Really good flow, nice dialog and a good mystery. Great choice to get in an accident, the tension was palpable. Overall it flows well, easy read, great ending. A few areas forced me to pause and re-read which broke the flow. "Hadn't put you in yet", I don't understand how Justin wouldn't know whether a coffin was in the car. "You smooshed the catch," I wasn't sure what that meant or whether it was necessary. Really great start - I wasn't totally clear how Justin was arranged back there. Maybe being totally clear about where he is related to the coffin and body could help.

Thanks for the feedback, Neil! Yes, maybe I was pushing it a bit with him not knowing immediately that the coffin was in there. Was thinking that he'd quickly jumped in, it was pretty dark... But maybe not all that believable!

FEEDBACK NO. 1 I don't know why, but I was more intrigued by the line "What? Shit – I gotta go. I love you, OK." than the rest of it. I like how you gave the character a big moment, and then put him into a big moment. Not an easy task in the short amount time given us for the assignment. My critique: Too much conversation on the outside. Noises and movement around the car, not knowing what's going on, would have really pulled me into further.

SCENE NO. 1 INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT It's dark. No lights. The door at the top of the stairs opens casting a beam onto the steps. RICK (19, daring, unhurried, odd) takes his time going down the steps. He's unfazed by the dark and walks right into it. A fridge opens bathing Rick in light. RICK (yelling): You're right. Pete left his beer. Rick grabs a couple of beers and shuts the door. He stands for a beat facing the fridge. He starts to head to the stairs, but stops. Starts again. Stops. He turns to face the rest of the dark basement. RICK (yelling): Hey, can you come down a sec? The basement lights come on. GLENN (19, clever, crisp, secretive) descends the steps. GLENN: Dude, what's up? Rick nods towards the middle of the basement. Glenn turns and we see what they see: a dead man with his face blown off lying on the ground. Glenn screams. RICK: Who is it? GLENN: How in the hell am I supposed to know? RICK: It's your house. You must know what's going on around here. GLENN: Check to see if he has any ID. Rick struggles to find a place to set the beer down. He hands them to Glenn. Rick kneels next to the corpse and lifts the lapel. RICK: Whoa! Why am I checking? GLENN: Because... just because. Just do it. Rick takes a deep breath and fishes for something in the pocket. He pulls it out and finds some ID. RICK: Welp, there goes that campaign. Rick stands up, backs away from the corpse and takes one of the beers from Glenn. Glenn takes the wallet. Rick guzzles the beer quickly like a seasoned pro. Glenn sighs. RICK: Does your mom know him? GLENN: Why do you immediately assume if there's a politician lying dead in my house, it has something to do with my mom? Rick shoots Glenn a sideways glance. RICK: Really? Do I have to spell this out for you again? Glenn stares hard at Rick. Rick opens the other beer and starts to drink. Glenn rips the beer from Rick's hands. GLENN: I'm going to kick your ass. When we figure this shit out, I will kick your ass.

GLG Scene #12 EXT SURGERY, TRENNISBRAE, SCOTLAND – NIGHT An unmarked van sits out front. COLIN and GEOFFREY, in plain clothes, pound on the surgery door. A light comes on in an upper floor rondel window, revealing DR. SILAS briefly. INT. KITCHEN – MINUTES LATER The room is dimly lit. An old clock ticks. It’s 2:22. Silas motions to Geoffrey and Colin. They wheel in a gurney as he slides a table out of the way. They lock the brakes, and stand back. Silas reaches for the body bag zipper. SILAS: Why the urgency? GEOFFREY: He’s...it’s a Traveler. SILAS: A gypsy? But why can’t it wait? Geoffrey puts a handful of 100 pound notes on the kitchen table. GEOFFREY: We only have an hour. Maybe less. Silas pulls the zipper down partway. Inside is a hideous creature with four eyes and a long, barbed proboscis. SILAS: Jaysus! It’s...It’s… COLIN: Extra-terrene. What did it die of? That’s what we want to know. SILAS: You’re sure it’s dead? COLIN: Very. Dead for months, based on how much dust was on it. The doctor puts on an old gas mask. The others put on their own professional versions and turn on the hanging light bulb. INT. KITCHEN – MINUTES LATER It’s 2:29. Colin takes photos. Geoffrey makes notes in a little book. The alien in all its hideousness has been unwrapped. Silas, bending down, probes the creature. SILAS: Lead smears. Somebody tried to shoot it. GEOFFREY: The agents who found the bug thought it was alive and emptied their guns at it. SILAS: (Nods) The bullets didn’t penetrate. The thorax and abdomen are covered with something like chitin, only much stronger. This thing would be really hard to kill. Colin and Geoffrey look at each other, then Colin takes more photos, while Geoffrey peers over Silas’s shoulder. SILAS: Hmm. What’s this structure? He presses on a pair of large scales just above the groin. WHANG! A dagger-like, foot-long organ shoots out from between the scales, just missing his hands. COLIN: What the fuck…? Is that its cock? SILAS: Ovipositor. GEOFFREY: What’s it do...? SILAS: It’s for pumping a victim full of eggs and injecting a toxin to paralyze him until the young hatch and slowly eat their way out. Lucky it didn’t get me. It might still be full of toxins. Geoffrey and Colin shiver. COLIN: How come its thing shot out like that? You sure it’s not alive? SILAS: Post-mortem reflex. GEOFFREY: So what killed it? (looks at the clock. 2:31) SILAS: I’m going in now. We may know in a few minutes. Or not. INT. KITCHEN – MINUTES LATER. 2:45. The alien thorax is split in two, revealing colorful organs and structures. The men are sweating profusely. Using a rotary saw, Silas cuts ligaments that hold a large, flat organ in place. SILAS: I have no idea what this is. Let’s call it a liver. Geoffrey makes a note. Silas pulls up on the organ, but it sticks, held from beneath by connective tissue. He inserts a crowbar and levers the organ upward a little. He looks closer. SILAS: What the fuck…? COLIN: What’s the matter? SILAS: There’s something shiny underneath this. COLIN: (hopeful) A bullet? SILAS: It...it looks like an implant of some sort. Let me take it out and get a better look. He starts to work the device loose with a scalpel. GEOFFREY: No! Wait. A cloud of purple vapor erupts from the object. Colin and Geoffrey run out the door before Silas can react. INT/EXT VAN – CONTINUOUS Geoffrey and Colin get in the van, close the doors and roar off. Silas pounds on the back door, screaming as they go. He falls, shakes his fist, and curses, inaudible. The vehicle careens away, Geoffrey at the wheel. Colin looks out the back. A bright light appears in the surgery windows, soon bright enough to be seen through the walls. Then the entire house explodes, and a skyscraper-sized mushroom cloud forms. The van swerves along the road, then crashes. Geoffrey and Colin emerge, injured, bleeding. GEOFFREY: Time bomb? COLIN: Booby trap, this time. That must have been what killed Teams J and K.