Scene 07 EXT. STREET - NIGHT A quiet street, washed by the rain. Light glints, from the lampposts and from a sedan's headlights. The sedan slows down, comes to a stop. INT. SEDAN - NIGHT On the driver's seat, DARREN (30s) turns to LARRY (30s), at his side. They look like bad news and big bad news. LARRY Okay, here we are. What's the drill? DARREN We go there and ask him nicely. LARRY And if he won't play ball? DARREN The riverbank is nice at this time of night. LARRY Yeah... (pause) We're not going to really ask nicely, are we? DARREN Hell, no. We're gonna knock him, drug him and get him back here. Our pal is "drunk" and we're helping him. LARRY Good. I'll punch him. DARREN No, it's my plan, so I'll do the punching. LARRY No, I will. I feel like punching someone. DARREN No, I'll-- LARRY Didn't you hear me say I feel like punching someone? A moment as Darren contemplates Larry's frown and bulk. DARREN Rock, paper, scissors? LARRY What? That's silly. DARREN Is it? Or are you afraid to lose? Loser. LARRY I ain't afraid, I ain't a loser and I ain't gonna lose. DARREN Then, ready? He puts hand behind back. Larry, nods, puts his hand behind his back, too. The two men nod "1,2,3", show hands. Darren made scissors, Larry paper. DARREN Ha! I win. Larry's hand closes like a vice around Darren's fingers, Darren YELPS in pain and surprise. LARRY No, paper beats scissors, right? (squeezes) Right? DARREN Ri-ight. You do the punching.

SCENE #9: NEIL VIDYA INT APARTMENT NIGHT Kyle (28) sits on the couch watching Netflix. KYLE (yelling) Nate! We hear some boxes fall in an adjoining room. NATE (27) comes bursting out, headphones on. NATE (too loud) What? Did you call me? KYLE (waving) Take out the headphones. NATE (loud) OH yeah. (normal) Oh yeah. Did you call me? KYLE Yeah man, you’re doing garbage this week. NATE What? I totally did it last week. KYLE It’s just a few bags man. NATE Yeah but I did it last week, I remember taking both of them and putting them in the chute. KYLE That doesn’t mean it was last week. And it wasn’t, because I did it last week. I distinctly remember I had to chuck two pizza boxes. NATE I have two pizzas every week. KYLE Yeah, well… it’s your turn. NATE Alright I don’t care that much, let’s just settle it with jan-ken-pon. KYLE What? NATE Rock paper scissors, that’s how they say it in Japan. KYLE So just say rock paper scissors. NATE Well jan-ken-pon is slightly different, there are 2nd level games and... KYLE …and you’re nuts on Japan, I get it. Let’s just play rock-paper-scissors. NATE Fine. They both put out their hands. NATE Jan, ken... KYLE Rock, paper... NATE Pon KYLE scissors. NATE is holding scissors, KYLE is holding paper. KYLE Ah, damn… I should have just made you do it. NATE It’s true, I’m not sure how many pizzas I had two weeks ago now that I think about it. KYLE Are you saying that to piss me off or do you really not remember? NATE smiles and puts his headphones back in.

FEEDBACK #7 I liked the flow. Bad news and big bad news was a great shorthand, I got the feeling of the two big oafs in the car. I love dumb and dumber style, so this was great. It flows well, I got to the end in a breeze, which is important to a reader like me. Perhaps they could argue over something more than just who gets to punch. Maybe it's who gets to tell the boss? Or nobody wants to carry the body, so the loser has to. I think you build a good balance between dumb and dumber, so the ending might have been nicer if they started arguing over paper and scissors, what beats what, and they say, tell you what, I'll play you in rock paper scissors to see who's right? But how are we going to know who wins? Let the dialogue continue as they walk into the place, Pulp Fiction style. Go long with it so we get that delight of feeling "wow these guys never stop!"

Thanks, Neil, good suggestions, but remember we only get up to 2 pages for these exercises.

Feedback 07 A simple scene, the touch of Japanese flavour elevates it. If Nate is such a nut on Japan, shouldn't he be eating sushi instead of pizza?

SCENE #13: INT. KITCHEN – DAY MIKE grabs the refrigerator as GEORGE stops the door. GEORGE: Don’t even think about it. Mike stares at him with bug eyes as he pulls the door open. He grabs the beer and slams the door shut. When he looks back at the beer, George also has a hand on it. MIKE: Let go. GEORGE: No. I paid for this. MIKE: You don’t even drink that much. GEORGE: Believe me, I need to drink now. MIKE: I need to drink every day. GEORGE: Convince me. Mike sighs. MIKE: Rock paper scissors? Best two out of three? GEORGE: You’re on. They both drop the beer on the table and lay their hands for the classic position. MIKE: We do this on three. One, two, three – George lands rock on three just as Mike lands paper after three. GEORGE: You said on three. MIKE: Okay, I meant after three. GEORGE: Well, that doesn’t count. MIKE: Of course it counts. It’s your own fault you didn’t understand it. GEORGE: Bullshit. We’re starting zero slate. MIKE: Whatever, I’ll still beat you. Mike and George pump to three and get paper. They pump to three and get rock. They do it once again and get scissors. Mike tightens his fist. MIKE: Stop doing this mind reading stuff. GEORGE: It’s not my fault. You’re the one who can read my mind. MIKE: No you. GEORGE: No you. They both get on the floor and wrestle while still shouting at each other. JEREMEY watches them fight and grabs the beer. He pops the top and takes a drink while Mike and George still fight. JEREMEY: Idiots.

Feedback 09 Hi, Steven This could be part of a slacker comedy and the "mind-reading" does add some spice to the scene, which is otherwise somewhat bland. I'd say go over the top with the stakes, why they need THAT beer NOW, like:"If I don't drink right now, I may drop dead." "Another reason for me not lo let you drink it."

FEEDBACK #15: I really love you decide to use rock, paper, scissors to characterize what would be rather intimidating men. I also love the twist with paper beating scissors to help separate two common men into two separate personalities (even if it is just stronger vs. weaker). The only thing I would suggest is that I feel the rock, paper, scissors fight kind of diminishes the motive for them being here. I liked how it was going, but the rock, paper, scissors seemed like a diversion even if it pertains to the capture. It might also help if we understand their motive for finding this guy. That being said, I really like in the beginning how you the two describe grabbing this "target."

FEEBACK #10 Great take on the scene prompt. I agree with Roy that adding a sense of immediacy would make the conflict escalate while Jeremy takes the wind right out of their sails at the end without them noticing. I often forget to add in a time constraint and it always heightens the scene on a rewrite. Great scene!

You may well be right regarding diminishing the capture plot thing. However, this time the motive for them being here is the rock, paper, scissors thing. Thanks, Steven.

Scene #6 INT. GROCERY STORE - DAY Siblings Trent (30) and Olivia (32) walk down the aisles of a supermarket. OLIVIA: Goddammit I can't read Mom's handwriting. TRENT:(reading) It says "French Onion Dip." OLIVIA: Fuck this is weird. Buying snacks for dad’s intervention. TRENT: Did you write your letter? OLIVIA: No. I thought that was just a thing they did on TV. Uuugghh. This is already uncomfortable enough. Now we have to bring in our feelings? TRENT: Just think of a time that Dad made you sad when he drank. OLIVIA: He didn't make me sad when he drank. I actually liked Dad when he drank. We got along! TRENT: You weren't here for some of the other times.He got pretty bad while you were in college. Mom found him asleep in the bathroom a few times. OLIVIA: That's it? I know it's not exactly killing someone - TRENT: - Which is why we're having an intervention so he doesn't get so bad that he harms someone or himself. OLIVIA: Will you write it for me? TRENT: No. I'm not going to write it. OLIVIA: Then let me see your letter. Get a feel of the format and structure. TRENT: (pause) I haven't written mine yet. OLIVIA: Ooooohh baby brother. I think it's time for a little game. A game called Rock. Paper. Scissors. Winner gets to sneak in a bottle of booze to the house. Loser has to write both letters. TRENT: I'm not going to do it. OLIVIA: One two three! Olivia holds out her hand. TRENT: Shit shit shit. Trent holds out his hand. They both have paper. TRENT: This is a dumb game. OLIVIA: Yes it is and one two three. TRENT: Goddamn. Olivia and Trent hold out their hands. Olivia has scissors. Trent has rock. OLIVIA: Fuck! TRENT: Boo-yah! Rock crushes your fucking scissors. OLIVIA: So we're tied. One to one. TRENT: One two three! Olivia and Trent hold out their hands. Olivia has rock. Trent has paper. OLIVIA: Noo!! TRENT: Yeah! Suck it! Olivia's phone rings. OLIVIA: It's Mom. TRENT:What?! OLIVIA: I can tell Mom right now or you can let my buy the booze and write my letter. TRENT: Fine you win! OLIVIA: Paper might beat rock, but big sister beats little brother. No. Matter. What. Olivia picks up the phone. OLIVIA: Oh hey Mom. Yeah just cruising through Wal-Mart. Olivia turns the cart down the booze aisle as Trent solemnly follows.

SCENE 3 EXT. CLIFF EDGE - DAY DANNY (early 20s, slight, scruffy) is hanging off a cliff. One of his arms is clinging desperately to the edge, the other is in the grasp of JONATHAN - a deceptively strong 40ish man in a suit. JONATHAN: Finally. You've stopped running.  DANNY: Please… JONATHAN: This is more... dangling and sweating, isn't it. DANNY: Please, please, pull me up. I’m slipping. I’m gonna die! JONATHAN: Hmmm... Rock, paper, scissors. DANNY: What? Why- what are you talking about? JONATHAN: Well. It’s a long and interesting story. You’re lucky I’ve got dynamite upper body strength. DANNY: Argh. Come on. He tries in vain to get a foothold. JONATHAN: OK. We'll decide if I pull you up by rock, paper- Wait. Maybe we should abbreviate it to RPS. RPS - in the interest of speed - how does that grab you? Danny looks down at his hand, gripping desperately to the cliff edge. DANNY: Ho- JONATHAN: It depends how much you trust me, I suppose. DANNY: I don't, not at all.  JONATHAN: Oh. Well I guess you're going to have to take your chances. Drenched in sweat, Danny grimaces and reluctantly peels his hand away from the ledge - his full weight in Jonathan’s grip. Jonathan readjusts, tensing his bicep. DANNY: 1-2-3  Danny shows ‘rock’ and quickly re-grips the cliff. Jonathan shows scissors. JONATHAN: Congratulations. Best out of three. They mime out three beats. Danny produces ‘paper’, Jonathan produces ‘scissors’. JONATHAN (CONTD): (Sharp intake of breath) Tough break. Don't worry this’ll all be over soon. Something of a relief - my arm is getting tired. (beat) 1-2-3 DANNY nervously puts out his hand - 'rock'. But before we see Jonathan’s play, he loses his grip. Intense fear flashes across Danny’s eyes as he realises what's about to happen, and he slides hopelessly from Jonathan’s grasp.