SCENE #8 ??? (V.O.) When the cards are down, then you'll see, he'll be who I want him to be... EXT. FIELD - DAY A young boy sprints through the freshly cut grass, sailing a kite behind him, a look of precious glee on his face. Just barely keeping up is a girl his age, laughter in her eyes. The scene is fuzzy, and the sound is muffled, the noises of the world just slipping through. Then a voice overcomes all, clear and crisp, booming, from the right. ??? (O.S.) Innocence lasts only so long, White, as the green leaves on a tree. The voice is answered by an equally clear, but calm voice, from the left. WHITE (O.S.) But morality, Red, is a long standing willow tree that encompasses all within it's grasp. RED (O.S.) Until something comes along and chops it down. A beat as the boy comes closer, his vibrant expression filling the screen. RED (O.S.) His day will come. I'm nothing if not patient. WHITE (O.S.) And I, without faith. RED (O.S.) I had your faith once, until it was ripped out like the unwanted weed. WHITE (O.S.) Yet like most weeds, you were growing where you should not. Many other places to take root and grow to be a beautiful flower. RED (O.S.) Many more where you'll be torn apart. WHITE (O.S.) Jadedness doesn't suit you, old friend, nor anybody. RED (O.S.) Tell that to the world. Suddenly it's easier to see the more heinous parts of the scene; darkened skies on the horizon, flashing lights passing on the road, a man's creeping gaze as the children pass. WHITE (O.S.) My task is but one, as is yours. I'll allow the rest to my sire. RED (O.S.) And me mine. A beat, as if the two were watching the children in deep thought. RED (O.S.) I want nothing but for the boy to survive these indecent times. WHITE (O.S.) And I want him to prevail over them. RED (O.S.) He will be tested. WHITE (O.S.) As are we all. RED (O.S.) And I will push him ahead. WHITE (O.S.) Over a cliff. RED (O.S.) And he will be consumed by the abyss. WHITE (O.S.) Or conquer it. It begins to rain. The boy squeals and runs for the cover of a tree, dragging the kite through the grass. He reaches for the girl as she joins him. An intimate moment, or as much as it can be for children. RED (O.S.) I wish I had your hope. WHITE (O.S.) A first step. RED (O.S.) But his soul will still be mine. WHITE (O.S.) I revel in the competition.

# SCENE 12 INT. GARAGE - NIGHT The camera is close from above on a large GLASS TANK, a floor of wood chip and sawdust, filled with branches, undergrowth and other greenery. Otherwise, it appears empty. A small white MOUSE is lowered into the tank from above by a hand. It sniffs around its surroundings, non-plussed. The camera holds on this shot during the entire conversation. Both voices are male. VOICE 1 (O.S.): Hey there little buddy, aren’t you a cute little guy? VOICE 2 (O.S.): Don’t interact with the animals, it’s not good for them. VOICE 1 (O.S.): Oh, sorry boss. He’s cute though, I always wanted a pet mouse. VOICE 2 (O.S.): I can’t stand them myself, filthy rodents. (A beat) So tell me then, is it done? VOICE 1 (O.S.): Umm, about that boss, I...wanted to talk to you about that. The mouse is still sniffing around, looking up out of the glass. VOICE 2 (O.S.): Go on. VOICE 1 (O.S.): Well, you see, we turned up at his place just like you asked. And we brought the big guns just like you asked. But… VOICE 2 (O.S.): But what? VOICE 1 (O.S.): He was waiting for us. (A beat) We lost Denny and Mikey. VOICE 2 (O.S.): And the drugs? (A beat) VOICE 1 (O.S.): We lost that too. At this point we sense movement from one end of the tank. The branches and leaves appear to have a life of their own, until the head of a SNAKE emerges, black eyed and fork tongued. It watches the white mouse. VOICE 2 (O.S.): So I guess you could say he knows we’re trying to take him out. VOICE 1 (O.S.): (Nervously) I guess you could say that, boss. VOICE 2 (O.S.): That rather ruins the element of surprise wouldn’t you say? The white mouse’s curiosity has led it towards the snake. It is sniffing around the reptile and soon realises it is a predator. The snake still does not move, but the mouse sprints to the opposite end of the cage. VOICE 1 (O.S.): ...I guess you could say that… The mouse is frantically, tragically leaping up at the glass, trying both corners, the middle, everywhere. Slowly now, the snake begins to slither further from the undergrowth towards, the mouse. We can see it is a large grass snake of some kind. VOICE 2 (O.S.): And I guess you could also say this isn’t the first time you’ve let me down is it? VOICE 1 (O.S.): (Very quietly) I can fix it boss. VOICE 2 (O.S.): Oh you can fix it can you? How can you fix the fact that my biggest competitor now knows I have got a bounty out on his head? The white mouse is still desperately leaping, squeaking in panic now, it’s horrible to watch. VOICE 1 (O.S.): Tell me what to do boss, I swear I— VOICE 2 (O.S.): You don’t have to do anything any more Frank. The snake has got the mouse cornered. In a deadly second it strikes and plunges its fangs into its prey. The mouse struggles and squeaks. In sync with these pictures we hear the frantic struggle as a plastic bag is thrown over Frank’s head by an unknown assailant. We hear him crying out, breathing frantically. In a number of ghastly seconds the mouse’s struggles cease, and so do the noises. We hear a body slump to the floor. The snake calmly begins to devour its prey. As it does, the camera TRACKS RIGHT to reveal another much larger tank, the size of the entire wall of the room. The camera TRACKS SLOWLY IN and we can make out the shape of a huge PYTHON against the glass. We can hear the sound of Frank's body being dragged along the floor. VOICE 2 (O.S.): (To the python) Time for dinner my sweet.

Feedback 04 Congratulations on a good idea, well executed. Just a bit too many We hear. Is the Python's name Monty?

Feedback 05 Congratulations on an excellent idea for a difficult prompt. I wish there were more visuals from the girl and boy. I feel Red and White dialogue is a bit aimless, especially: RED (O.S.) I wish I had your hope. WHITE (O.S.) A first step.

Scene 1 INT. BEDROOM - DAY ANDREA, early 20s and wearing skimpy summer clothes, enters a very old fashioned bedroom filled with antique furniture and decorations. A large four-poster bed fills most of the room. She looks around the various knick-knacks and porcelain pieces with great disappointment. Nothing of value here. A large wardrobe catches her eye. She walks towards it and finds it locked. Damn! She walks to the dresser to have a browse. A small porcelain box catches her attention. Her eyes light up. She opens the lid. Inside, a pair of lovely antique sapphire earrings attached to A PAIR OF FRESHLY CUT HUMAN EARS. She jumps back, giving out a small squeal. In the ground floor the FRONT DOOR OPENS. Elderly VOICES reach out from the ground floor. FATHER (O.S.): Really, Mother. One of this days you'll forget to put on your head. Andrea freezes. Her eyes wide open. She puts her hand over her mouth. MOTHER (O.S.): But it's my favourite pair. FATHER (O.S.): Try to remember. Did you put them on this morning? MOTHER (O.S.): Of course I put them on! FATHER (O.S.): Are you sure? A pause. Andrea looks back at the ears. She goes white pale. MOTHER (O.S.): I’ll look upstairs. STEPS move around the ground floor. STEPS clump loudly up the stairs. Andrea jumps to action. She slides under the bed. From under the bed she sees the legs of the old woman as she enters the room. MOTHER (O.S.): (mumbling) Where can these damn things be? The legs pace across the room towards the dresser. Knick-knacks TINKER around. Andrea forces herself to stay completely still. MOTHER (O.S.): Well, I'll be damned. (louder) I found them! FATHER (O.S.): Told ya! MOTHER (O.S.): Well you could’a told me this mornin' before we left for church. The bed creaks and lowers as Mother sits on the bed. MOTHER (O.S.): Oh, for Pete’s sake! An ear falls to the ground. A young, fine hand follows. However, it is attached to an old and wrinkled arm, like a mishmash of different mannequin parts. Andrea puts her hand in front of her mouth. She holds her breath. Her eyes tear up. Cold sweat rolls on her forehead. The hand fumbles with the ear, grabs it and disappears out of sight. The bed creaks as the woman gets up the mattress. Andrea eyes follows the feet, willing them to exit the room. They do. FATHER (O.S.): Don't forget your scarf! Mother gives a large SIGH. The feet walk inside the room again and stop in front of the wardrobe. JINGLING of keys. The wardrobe door opens. MOTHER (O.S.): For cryin’ out loud! The naked dead body of a YOUNG WOMAN falls to the floor. Empty stare. Red fleshy patches where her ears once stood. One of her hands is missing altogether. Andrea screams. Mother bends down to see under the bed, her face now in full view. Beyond the wrinkles and mismatched ears, RED BIG EYES look back. An evil grin fills her face. MOTHER: Well, hello! Andrea SCREAMS as she pushes herself out of the woman's grasp. Mother rises and walks towards the door. MOTHER (O.S.): Father! Come quick. I found us some more spare parts.

Thanks Roy. I definitely agree, I had a hard time ending this one. Probably could use a little tightening overall.

SCENE #12: INT. BOSS’ OFFICE – DAY The door opens as ANDREW’S foot walks down the floor. The BOSS turns his chair, with his American flag tie and his hands on the frame. ANDREW: You called me in? BOSS: Yea, I needed to talk with you. Andrew SHUFFLES to his seat as we see the boss’ family picture. BOSS: Now, I know how important you’ve been to the team… Andrew fumbles with his hands. BOSS (cont.): … but you’ve also been underperforming for a while. Andrew slams his fist to the desk as the Newton’s cradle moves back and forth. The boss adjusts his tie. ANDREW: I’m sorry. It’s just spur of the moment, you know? BOSS: That’s part of the problem. You’ve been scaring a few of your fellow employees. Andrew tightens his fist. ANDREW: I can change. BOSS: I’m sure you can, and I would let you it if that were it. But you just haven’t been performing to the best of your abilities, and we just don’t have the time to invest into your future anymore. I’m sorry to do this to you, but I have to – Andrew jumps out of his chair and grabs onto the boss’ tie. ANDREW: Don’t say it. The boss gulps. BOSS: I have to let you go. Andrew throws punch after punch at the boss’ head. Andrew’s fist is spattered with blood. The boss wheezes as guards come into tackle Andrew on the ground. The Newton’s cradle falls to the ground. The boss wipes some of the blood off his cheek and throws it to the ground. BOSS: What is wrong with you? ANDREW: Everything. Andrew is lifted up to the burly SECURITY GUARD’S blue shirt. His badge wobbles up and down as he leaves. The boss picks the Newton’s cradle back up to his desk.

Feedback 08 You're so evil---but you already know that, don't you? This could be played straight or as a black comedy---I lean more towards the latter. Amusing---if creepy---take on a difficult prompt, kudos for that. Nitpicking, as usual: "Andrea SCREAMS as she pushes herself out of the woman’s grasp. Mother rises and walks towards the door." This isn't too clear---Andrea is still under the bed, isn't she? She slides out the other side? Crunches against a wall? And I don't think Mother would need to go to the door, even less likely that she would just plain unadornedly walk. And whatever happened to the Red Right Hand?

FEEDBACK #14: I love the God/Devil dialogue you have with this boy. It really creates some great mystery and foreboding for this boy and what will happen in his life. Great prologue scene! The only thing I'd nitpick is the way these characters talk in metaphor makes their relationship a bit confusing. For example, when White says, "Many other places to take root and grow to be a beautiful flower," I'm unsure what to make with that because Red then also speaks vaguely and I only get back to it when they talk about the boy again. That being said, the metaphor dialogue can be a strength when used with clarity in mind.

My man Roy. As usual, spot on (I hate it when you are right). That's what happens when you rush things. Cheers!

scene 10 INT. GLASS CASING - DAY CAMERAS flash as they take pictures of TWO HANDS. One man's and one woman's. They pick up various jewelry items in the glass case, trying them on as the cameras flash. We stay with the hands the whole time. MAN (OS): Can we talk about what happened? WOMAN (OS): Nothing happened. MAN (OS): Don't tell me nothing happened. I felt it and I know you did too. The man hand brushes against the other hand. WOMAN (OS): Stop it. MAN (OS): I knew you liked it. WOMAN (OS): Not in public. MAN (OS): What I would do to those fingers. Man tries to grab her forefinger with his pinky. WOMAN (OS): I said stop it. DIRECTOR (OS): And cut. The hands drop and we follow them to the sides of their owners. DIRECTOR (OS): Take five everybody while we reset. The hands slowly, ever so slowly, creep closer. Until they hold each other. MAN (OS): So, what are you doing later?

FEEDBACK #12 Steven, I like the final image here quite a lot. I guess if you wanted to tighten it up a bit you could not have the boss saying Andrew has been underperforming twice in the dialog. I think once is enough to get that point.

FEEDBACK #11 Excellent idea for this prompt, Tillery. I really enjoyed the descriptions of what the hands were doing in compliment to the dialogue. I would have liked it to be a little longer, maybe a few additional pauses to make it more clear before the ending that they are at a photo shoot.

FEEDBACK No. 4 Bravo. Very nice. My only critique is why isn't Andrea going to church with her parents? I know that seems rather benign, but when I read that, my brain switched into another mode and it pulled me away from the moment. I would have liked to have read more because I'm wondering why the Mother thinks of salvaging her "daughter" for spare parts is a good thing. I wasn't shocked by it, but rather, huh... what's next?

SCENE No. 4 (I do have a number 3, but I forgot to put "No. 3".) EXT. CYBERSPACE The monochrome green grid unfolds and stretches into the infinite horizon. Data walls rise high to protect corporate CPUs and memory servers from unwanted intruders and prying eyes. Overhead, information glides along like clouds, controlled by corporate interests and policed by other corporations. Small glowing silver spheres soar through cyberspace stopping at access points and nodes. Some remain, others keep moving along. One of these spheres break away from the group and travels alone to the ground of a data wall. It stops and unfolds into... COOKIE. Her armor is a cross between a French knight, ninja and a samurai. She find an unused access point. Cookie waits. SANDSTORM (O.S.): Hold a second. I'm not in position. FIDDLER (O.S.): You're late already. We don't have much time. If-- SANDSTORM (O.S.): Yeah... I know. I get it. We all get caught. The access point lights up red. Data streams. Cookie checks her chronometer. She goes back to monitor the data stream. FIDDLER (O.S.): Things are getting testy out here. The protesters are being joined by other groups. The corp cops and local police are starting to show up in riot gear. If this escalates, the extraction will be more difficult. The data streams stop. The access point turns green. A "door" opens. SANDSTORM (O.S.): You should have access now. GO! We only have sixty seconds before this node shuts down. Cookie enters the access points and past the data wall. INT. VORTEX INDUSTRIES CYBERNODE (CONTINUOUS) Data servers rotate around the CPU. Everything is lit up in soft blue lights. Data packets float from the servers to internal terminals. SANDSTORM (O.S.): Remember, don't interrupt the data packets. If they slow down for any reason it will-- FIDDLER (O.S.): Seriously? Cookie isn't some rank amateur. She's the best there is. Cookie smiles. It's the only visible part of her face as the eyeless visor covers the rest. SANDSTORM (O.S.): With how much she was charging-- Cookie skillfully weaves, twists and dances away from the data packets as she floats high to a terminal. FIDDLER (O.S.): You knew why we took this job. Cookie stops midway. She pulls a small box from her belt and plugs it into a terminal. The box unfolds, expands to match the size and design of the terminal. Soon the box becomes indistinguishable from its target. SANDSTORM (O.S.): No... absolutely not. Just set up the trigger for the alarm to evacuate the building. She has 10 seconds. Cookie floats the rest of the way to the top. She finds the terminal she's looking for - a gold-plated custom terminal. A data spike protrudes from her hand and she inserts into the terminal. Data streams onto her visor. Time is up. An internal alarm sounds. A terminal explodes FIDDLER (O.S.): It's party time. Meet you at the extraction point.

Hey RealThndrMonkey I guess I was not very clear in the initial description. Andrea is not their daughter but an outsider who entered the house to steal. That is why she hides under the bed. Maybe I should have had her entering the room from the window. The two elderly people only refer to each other as Father and Mother (thinking old Southern US). If you could read it again with this information and give your comments, I would appreciate it. Cheers!