"and and and and and and and"

I really really hate the way that's written. I'm perfectly happy with something like:

SUNDANCE flings away one gun, grabs another from his holster, continuing to turn and fire as --

TWO POLICEMEN fall wounded to the ground.

BUTCH lets out a notch. He launches into another dive forward.

SUNDANCE whirls around, but you never know which way he’s going to spin.

THE HEAD POLICEMAN curses. He drops to safety behind the wall.

IMO there's no need for CUT TO at all. Obviously it's going to be a cut - it's an action scene.

I get the sense that everything is happening all at once in the original and not in what Ive done, but again - obvious?

Maybe I'm completely wrong here, but....

I agree with both of Neil's comments.

I also noticed that although every action is a mini-scene in itself the overall scene is actually three separate main scenes –

What Butch is doing and

What Sundance is doing and

What the policemen are doing

(and I threw in all the ands to keep with the style).

Lastly, if I’m correct, that’s not the way the last scene actually played out. Although Butch and Sundance were both wounded, they made it back into the room where they were taking shelter. Then they burst out into the open, the scene froze and went to sepia. William Goldman’s vision never made it to the screen.

I'll respond in an update to the original post.

Everyone should "hate" how it's written unless that's their voice. But don't confuse "hate" with seeing it differently.

One of the drafts of one of the BOURNE scripts does the CUT TO slugline thing. I was wondering where the heck it came from.

In my head it captured the pacing of the movie better than it would have been with no CUT TO's, although regular mini-slugs might have done the same.