Marcus: You probably shouldn't be digging in your ass. The Kid: Santa Marcus: Awe Jesus. Willie: Is that your underwear? The Kid: Part of it. Willie: Where the hell's the rest of it? No actually don't tell me, I don't want to know. What do you want? The Kid: I was thinking I wanted a purple stuffed elephant, not pink, but now I changed my mind. Willie: Yeah, what. The Kid: Now I don't want an elephant at all. I want a Gorilla named Davy for beating up the skateboard kids who pull on my underwear. And he can take his orders from the talking walnut so it wouldn't be my bad thing. Willie: Jesus, kid. When I was your age I didn't need no fucking Gorilla and I wasn't as big as one of your legs. Four kids beat me up one time, and I went crying home to my Daddy, you know what he did? The Kid: He made it all better. Willie: No, he kicked my ass. You know why? The Kid: Because you went to the bathroom on Mommy's dishes? Willie: What the fuck. No. The Kid: He tried to teach you not to cry and be a man. Willie: No, it's because he was a mean drunk son of a bitch. And when he wasn't busy busting my ass he was busy putting cigarettes out on my neck. The world ain't fair. You've got to take what you need when you can get it. You've got to learn to stand up for yourself. You're gonna have to quit being a pussy and kick these kids in the balls or something. Or don't. Shit I don't care. Just leave me the hell out of it. Now get on out of here. The Kid: Okay. Thanks, Santa. Willie (to Marcus): Well go get the next luck boy or girl. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKd7z5CY4BU Bad Santa (2003) Writers: Glenn Ficarra, John Requa Dialogue on Dialogue: I don't write comedy, only drama. Which qualifies me to explain comedy to you. If you want to write funny, make your P suffer by forcing them to do something they're totally unqualified to do. Gangsters become baby-sitters, musicians dress up as women to escape the gangsters and so on. So why not force a petty crook impersonating Father Christmas into the role of surrogate Father. Or don't.

Newsies (1992) Writers: Bob Tzudiker, Noni White http://images2.static-bluray.com/reviews/6267_1.jpg EXT. SIDEWALK - BARE-KNUCKLED BOXERS - DAY duke it out as sidewalk spectators watch. The boys work the crowd, each in his own style--- DAVID: (the rookie) Extra, 'Trolley strike drags on!' JACK: (the master) Nextry, nextry---‘Ellis Island in flames---big con-fla-gration!' DAVID: What---? Where's that story---? JACK: (making sales) Page nine---thank you, sir. Nextry, 'Thousands flee in panic---‘ DAVID: (on page nine) 'Trash fire near immigration building frightens seagulls---?' JACK: 'Terrified flight from flaming inferno!' Thank you, much obliged--- David is incredulous---then sees Les by the boxers moving up to a spectator, assuming a pathetic look. LES: Buy me last pape, mista...? He coughs, Camille-like. Makes the sale. Down the sidewalk Jack nods approvingly; David is disgusted. DAVID: Our father taught us not to lie. JACK: Mine taught me not to starve. So we both got an education. DAVID: You just make things up---like those headlines. JACK: I don't do nothin' the guys who write this stuff don't do. It ain't lyin’---it's just improvin' the truth a little. DIALOGUE ON DIALOGUE: In turn-of-the-century New York City, David Jacobs and his younger brother Les are forced to take up jobs as newsies when their father is incapacitated. Les learns quickly from orphan Jack Kelly how to work the streets, which concerns David. In this short exchange, both young men establish their relative moral positions by expressing what they were taught by their fathers.

Despicable Me (2010) Screenplay by Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio; story by Sergio Pablos. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8HjCP3LqHo INT: GRU’S LAIR - CONTINUOUS The girls look around, taking in the scary looking interior. Images of demons and Gothic evil are everywhere. Agnes turns to Gru, nervous. AGNES: Can I hold your hand? GRU: Ahhh no. They go deeper into the lair. Edith pulls Margo aside. EDITH: When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this'd be more like Annie. Just then Kyle comes around the corner, his eyes lighting up as he sees the girls. He licks his chops and is about to chomp down on Agnes with a slobbery mouth full of teeth when Gru stops him with a rolled-up newspaper. GRU: No hey...! Gru jumps behind the girls. GRU: Kyle. These are not treats. These are guests. (to the girls) Girls, this is Kyle, my...dog. AGNES: Oooh, fluffy doggie! Kyle runs off scared. AGNES: Aww. Margo turns to Gru, accusingly. MARGO: What kind of dog is that? GRU: He’s ahhh...I don’t know. MARGO: Do you really think this is an appropriate place for little kids? Cause, uh, its not. Gru shrugs, surrounded by all the inappropriate things in his house. He turns and sees a curious Edith checking out an open IRON MAIDEN. GRU: No, no! Stay away from there! It’s fragile! SNAP! The spiked door snaps shut with her inside. RED LIQUID starts spilling out onto the floor. Gru stares at it. Margo and Agnes GASP. GRU: Well, I suppose the plan will work with two. EDITH (O.S.) Hey! It’s dark in here! Gru opens up the iron maiden, revealing Edith standing there completely unharmed. So small she fit between the spikes. She holds up something. EDITH: It poked a hole in my juice box. Red punch drips out of the juice box. Edith SPITS out the straw. INT: KITCHEN - DAY Gru stands in front of the girls. GRU: As you can see, I have provided everything a child might need. Gru points to a DOG DISH FILLED WITH CANDY, a DOG DISH FILLED WITH WATER and NEWSPAPERS spread out on the floor. The girls stare. GRU: All right. Ah...okay. As I was saying---hey! Aww! Edith has smashed a vase of toxic chemicals, which is now sizzling on the tile floor. EDITH: Somebody broke that. GRU: Okay, okay, clearly we need to set some rules. Rule number one: You will not touch anything. MARGO: Uh huh. What about the floor? GRU: (irritated) Yes, you may touch the floor. MARGO: What about the air? GRU: (more irritated) Yes, you may touch the air. EDITH: What about this? Edith holds a dangerous looking RAY GUN. GRU: Ahhhhh! Where did you get that? Gru shields himself with a frying pan. EDITH: (shrugs) Found it. Gru grabs the gun from her, then continues. GRU: Okay, rule number two: you will not bother me while I’m working. Rule number three: you will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle or sneeze or burp or fart. So no, no, no annoying sounds. Alright? AGNES: Does this count as annoying? Agnes opens her mouth and drums on her cheeks. GRU: Very. DIALOGUE ON DIALOGUE: Parental advice isn't always meant to improve the child's life. In this case, evil villain Gru adopted three daughters for the purpose of using them against his nemesis Vector to enable him to steal a shrink ray gun. The children are simply a means to an end, and Gru's advice, and his manner of caring for them, shows this.

I couldn't locate the script or the clip, so I had to piece this together from a transcript. The action is described by me. "Orange County" written by Mike White Setup: After learning the guidence counselor sent the wrong transcript to get him into Standford, Shaun goes to his dad (Bud) for help. BUD BRUMBER: A writer! What could you write about? You're not oppressed or gay. SHAUN BRUMBER: Not all writers are gay. BUD: Well, they're all poor. SHAUN: That's not true. What about Tom Clancy, Stephen King, Anne Rice? BUD: Three people in the history of literature. SHAUN: The truth is, I don't care about making money. BUD: Shaun, I have a burst blood vessel in my brain. I could die at any moment. But I keep plugging away, day after day, because I want to leave you something special, a business. A legacy. Shaun's half brother, JAKE, who is five or six with a severe attitude problem, escapes from his nap upstairs, bursts into the room and starts picking up things on Bud's desk. JAKE: I want my poody! BUD: Hey, pal. Control yourself. Can you give me that back? The phone is ringing. Jake is running around. It's chaos. JAKE: I want my poody. BUD: Where's your mother? (yelling) Rosa, will you get in here? ROSA, Bud's housekeeper, appears. She had been chasing Jake, but the little brat is too fast for her. ROSA: I'm coming. BUD: Rosa, will you get him out of here? SHAUN: Doesn't he need a nap? BUD: I want him to learn some limits. Shaun... This is my life's work here. When I started, I had nothing. Now look at me. I've got a million square feet in Irvine alone, an empire, and I want to leave it to you. This is the life I want for you. SHAUN: But, what about what I want? BUD: A writer? Before that you wanted to be a professional surfer, so it's hard to take you seriously, Shaun. SHAUN: Fine. I don't want your money. But for the record, you've never done anything for me. It's always about you. DIALOGUE ON DIALOGUE: Sometimes advice from parents are just for their benefit with little or no regard to the child they are speaking to.

The Godfather (1972) Writing by Mario Puzo and Francis Ford Coppola https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQ9-wNAfTSY Hope to get back during week, when less busy, to write up the dialogue. Of course practically any scene with the Don would comprise fatherly advice. Remember, "Never tell anybody outside the family what you're thinking again."

Great suggestions, folks. Thanks and look for them this week!