SCENE 13 EXT. LOVER'S POINT - NIGHT A breathtaking view of the city at night. Parked cars line the cliff edge. LUCILLE, on foot, breathless, reaches the top. She still is a worthy rival to the beauty of the skyline. Between the writhing vehicles and the sharp plummet are picnic tables, where TONY waits, staring out into the abyss. He turns as Lucille approaches, gripping her back. A bump can be seen at her stomach. TONY You came. LUCILLE (gimme a minute) Yes. Tony watches her struggle to sit, making no attempt to help. He scowls at her bulging belly. TONY Tell me you've been hitting the Twinkies hard. LUCILLE Go fuck yourself. A beat. LUCILLE (CONT) So I'm here. Tony pulls a bottle from the shadows and swigs. He offers it to Lucille, knowing she won't take it. LUCILLE (CONT) That makes it a date, then. TONY You remember this place. LUCILLE (reminiscing) We were here. Long ago. A night to remember. TONY You can't keep it. LUCILLE And we were having a wonderful time reminiscing before you had to ruin it. TONY I'm serious, Lucy. You know what it could do to my- LUCILLE Such a nice view. She stands and moves close to the edge of the cliff. Staring into the pit. TONY Why this one? Why can't we just return to what we were? Tony is at her side. Their toes skirt the gorge. LUCILLE (softly) Because I hate what we were. TONY So I'll change. LUCILLE (laughing) No you won't. A beat. LUCILLE (CONT) Have you ever had this discussion with any of your whores? Tony doesn't answer. LUCILLE (CONT) I'm sorry, Tony, but if this is how you feel, then I can't see any other option. I promise we'll never bother you. I can take care of myself. TONY So that's it? You'll throw away all we have to keep this thing? LUCILLE (doesn't miss a beat) Yes. I've realized that we have means nothing to me. This does. A few beats as they both look out at the city. Maybe it's the light, but it looks like Tony is crying. TONY Then there's no other option. Tony grabs Lucille's shoulders and moves sharply to push her over the cliff. She screams and buckles, causing Tony to lose his balance. In a rage she charges him, and he stumbles, and disappears. LUCILLE (into the abyss) ANTHONY! She stares down the cliff and listens for any response. After a few tense moments she rises, tears in her eyes. LUCILLE (CONT) I guess this relationship is over.

Feedback 01 I appreciate your effort and i find the ending to be very creative. Very dramatic. However, unless theres is an acceptable background story to the two characters, the scenes comes as a bit of a surprise and i actually find it to be a little odd. In a way, the ending to the scene isnt justified by the dialogues written in the scene, like i said the ending depends on a background story no one knows about. And, the written dialogues in a way are very synthetic. Reminiscing? A beat? I found a few phrases to be a little odd.. Other than that, good job.

Thanks for the feedback. FYI "a beat" is screenplay lingo for a pause. I actually wrote this scene as an addition to a couple other scenes I've done for this exercise: http://gointothestory.blcklst.com/2016/02/2016-dialogue-writing-challenge-day-11.html#comment-145275, and http://gointothestory.blcklst.com/2016/02/2016-dialogue-writing-challenge-day-19.html#comment-145456. That might help clarify some things. I wanted to see first how the scene would work on it's own. Thanks again.

Scene 10 INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT CANDICE (30s) and VLAD (30s) sit by a candle lit table in their dinner clothes. The remains of an elegant dinner still sit on top of the table. The room is classic and elegant. Both are laughing and having the best of times. VLAD (in a thick Russian accent): … and then, without warning, his trousers fall down. CANDICE: Oh, my God, that’s hilarious. VLAD: I know. You can imagine the faces of everyone in the Politburo. They tried so hard not to laugh. CANDICE: What did you do? VLAD: Well, what could I do. I ran towards the minister, pulled his pants up and dragged him of the room. I tell you, that man exiled himself to Siberia. CANDICE: No wonder we could not find him anywhere. Poor man. VLAD: Poor man? He was wearing red polka dot underwear. He was asking for it. Both laugh heartedly. The grandfather clock in the room rings midnight. Both stop laughing and become very serious and gloomy. CANDICE: Is it that late? VLAD: Unfortunately, yes. CANDICE: Dammit. I’ve been dreading this moment. VLAD: Don’t. You have your orders, I have mine. CANDICE: There has to be another way. VLAD: There isn’t. Say we make a run for it. With our training we could probably hide out for, what… one year? Two? But we would be constantly living with fear of the shadows waiting until that moment when they find us. And they will find us. CANDICE: I hate it when you’re right. VLAD: I know you do. A beat. CANDICE: I guess this is goodbye then. VLAD: Yes. CANDICE: I love you, Vlad. Under the tablecloth, Candice grips the handle of a gun held with duct tape to the bottom of the table. VLAD (in Russian): Goodbye, beautiful. Vlad reaches down to a small gun in an ankle holster. They look deeply at each other’s eyes. In a swift move both pull their guns out and point them at each other. A loud BANG fills the room. A tear gently rolls down Candice’s cheek. A droplet of blood gently rolls down Vlad’s.

FEEDBACK 10 Great dialogue really believeable distance for each other-- but also a bit of love still there-- which is why the final punchline is so jarring. Unless she is a psychopath I don't think she would be making a joke about killing her boyfriend. Sometimes a lack of dialogue can be just maw effective and if it were me I'd end it at "and disappears". Great job overall though!

--- FEEDBACK EIGHT --- Loved it. I wonder if it would work better if they were post-coitus and they spent a little bit of time going back and forth about what a glorious adventure and life they could have running away together, and then she shoots him dead.

--- SCENE TEN --- INT - NICE RESTAURANT - NIGHT MAX, early 20s, is just moving the food around on his plate. NIKKI, mid-20s, looks around the restaurant and sees the other couples talking to each other. Both are dressed very nicely as are the other couples. NIKKI: This isn't okay. MAX: We don't get to do this very often. Why can't we just have a meal, enjoy each other's company and just put whatever our problems might be behind us? NIKKI: I can't even imagine how I can do that. How we can do that-- Nikki's phone rings. MAX: That's the fourth time your phone has gone off since we sat down. NIKKI: Sorry, we've had a rough day at work. Nikki turns off the ringer. MAX: I don't get it. You want to talk about something, but as soon as the phone rings-- NIKKI: Don't talk to be about being the least important person in the room. You get so caught up in whatever project you're working on, and I become the coldest person in the room. It's like I don't even exist. MAX: The last thing I ever wanted to do was to exclude you. NIKKI: Well, that's something you'll never have to worry about again. MAX: Perhaps, it's for the best. We've been heading down this road for a while. Nikki stands up. She removes a ring. NIKKI: I hope you find someone you think you can love. Nikki leaves. Max buries his face in his hands and cries. The other restaurant patrons stare at him.

Scene 4 INT. CANYON STEAK HOUSE DINING ROOM - DAY Linen table clothes, real knives, and waiters that bring you water without being asked. The business lunch herd heads back to work. A thirty something couple lingers with coffee and smiles. KEVIN, 37, rolex and rumpled. LYDIA, 45, black dress and careful make-up. Kevin: You know you want some, just get it. She looks at him over the dessert menu. Kevin: It's why we come here. Lydia: I don't think I do. Kevin: Then why do you keep looking at it? Lydia: Because right now I want it. It's later I won't. Kevin: You're a nut. Lydia: I'm serious. Right now it looks delicious and if I get it I'll probably enjoy every moment, but I know that I don't really want it. When I'm done I'll... He leans in, takes her hand. She pulls away but holds his gaze. Kevin: So now you're saying you don't like cheese cake? Lydia: It was all I could think about when we agreed to meet, but right now, even looking at it and wanting it with every part of me,, I know I'll regret it the next time I put my dress on. He grins before comprehension arrives, fashionably late as always. Kevin: Lyd- Lydia: Every time I look in the mirror I ask myself why I keep coming back here. He turns away, looks at everything but her. The waiter spots him searching, darts back to the table. Waiter: Are we interested in anything else this afternoon? Perhaps the chocolate cherry cheese cake? Kevin catches her eye. She drops her head. Kevin: It looks like we're finished here.