Scene 2 INT. RECEPTION HALL – NIGHT Open to Black. CRYSTAL: Percy? Percy? Can you hear me? Fade in to a POV shot from the ground up of the blurred close up face of CRYSTAL in front of very bright lights in the background. No noticeable details can be perceived. CRYSTAL: Are you okay? Intercut to Crystal's POV of PERCY's face. Early 20s, clean shaved, he rests on a white indistinguishable background. A red mark on his face signals a recent altercation. PERCY: Crystal? That you, sis? CRYSTAL: He's coming to! How are you feeling? PERCY: I just had the craziest of dreams. I was at your wedding. INT. RECEPTION ROOM – DREAM SEQUENCE The sound is muffled throughout. A bright and elegant reception hall with a dozen beautifully decorated tables, surrounded by elegant people. In one corner, an elegant long table sits CRYSTAL (late 20s) in her wedding dress next to REX (late 20s), the groom, a large built hulk of a man in a military ceremonial suit. Friends and family of the bride and groom sit next to them. PERCY (V.O.): We were in a beautiful room filled with people. You were radiant in your wedding dress. I was making my speech when all of a sudden... Amongst them stands Percy, elegantly dressed, with a cordless microphone. He making a very well received speech as everyone laughs. PERCY (V.O.): the place was attached by ninjas! The room is suddenly filled with ninjas brandishing swords, jumping from all sides. Some appear from the various doors while others rappel down from the ceilings. PERCY (V.O.): I couldn't allow that so I joined the fight, and Crystal, how I fought! Percy takes a fighting stance, jumps over the table and fights the ninjas in a magnificently choreographed fight worthy of a Chinese martial arts flick (I know ninjas are Japanese, but I want lots of punches, action and swords going swish-swish). Percy evades the swords, kicks and punches the ninjas. PERCY (V.O.): But then a giant Japanese warrior appeared out of nowhere and attacked me. A tall warrior in a full Japanese red armour appears behind Percy and kicks him onto a table at the far end of the hall. PERCY (V.O.): I was overpowered and outnumbered but I flung ninja weapons at them and cut the head of the warrior with a sword. Percy turns at the table and finds it filled with ninja stars, knives and short swords. He punches the table, making all the weaponry lift into the air in slow motion. Before they fall back down he takes the flying weapons and throws them at the ninjas who collapse to the ground. He then hurdles a large sword at the warrior cutting his head off in a clean swipe. CRYSTAL (V.O.): Percy. PERCY (V.O.): But then an evil dark ghost materialized and attacked me... A massive shadowy figure moves swiftly from side to side avoiding Percy's weapons barrage. CRYSTAL (V.O.): PERCY! PERCY (V.O.): lifting me in the air and throwing me across the room. Luckily I landed on top of a big marshmallow and then... The shadow shoots a dark energy ball at Percy which flings him across the room. Percy lands on top of a giant white marshmallow that softens his landing. INT. RECEPTION HALL – NIGHT From Percy's POV, the blurriness dissipates. We can now clearly see Crystal, beautiful in white in her wedding dress. CRYSTAL: PERCY ANDREW THOMAS, YOU ARE AT MY WEDDING! PERCY: Say what? INT. RECEPTION HALL – FLASHBACK SEQUENCE CRYSTAL (V.O.): Jesus, Percy. You've been drunk as a skunk and making a damn fool of yourself. Same intro as before, except that Percy is drunk out of his mind and fumbling with the microphone. All guests look at him in a mixture of shame and embarrassment. CRYSTAL (V.O.): The ninjas you fought... not ninjas. Waiters, darn it! The doors in the hall open giving way to lines of waiters carrying trays with the first course. Percy jumps off his seat, crawls over the table dropping everything to the floor and runs swinging his arms towards the shocked waiters. Trays fall to the ground as the waiters try to defend themselves. CRYSTAL (V.O.): And the frickin' warrior was my MOTHER-IN-LAW! Crystal's MOTHER-IN-LAW (50s) a voluminous lady dressed in a bright red dress and wearing a ridiculously elaborate hair-do manages to grab Percy and hurl him towards the desserts table. Percy grabs the tiny dishes filled with delicious cakes, fruit tarts and sweet pastries and clumsily hurls them at the waiters who cower behind their trays. Percy grabs a large circular tray and throws it Frisbee style at the mother-in-law, knocking her wig off her head. The mother-in-law screams and runs towards the exit while covering her bald head with her hands. Rex runs from his table and punches Percy in the face sending him flying in the air. Percy falls smack in the middle of the wedding cake which rests on a small table. The table breaks taking down with it both Percy and the cake. INT. RECEPTION HALL – NIGHT Close up shot of Percy with a dumbfounded look on his face. Quick zoom out to show him still laying on top of the obliterated wedding cake. An angry crowd of family, friends and waiters surround him. PERCY: My God, Crystal. Did I do it again? CRYSTAL: (Sighs) Yes little brother. You did it again.

[SCENE 2] INT. CHURCH - DAY Ornamented with beautiful pink and white flowers and filled with beautifully dressed people, this small town's church reverberates with joy and happiness. By the altar, Jane (late 20s) and Christian (late 20s) face each other. Jane's eyes keep shifting back and forth between her husband to be and the best man while Christian softly wobbles back and forth, a smile on his face, while the priest talks to the audience. Jane shakes her head and frowns to the best man who shrugs with a smile, mimicking someone drinking with his hands and pointing at the groom. PRIEST And so here, in front of God and the community- The groom jolts into motion. CHRISTIAN In front of God? Hell no. The crowd erupts in a mixture of gasps and giggles then silence falls. PRIEST I beg your pardon? CHRISTIAN You said in front of God. God ain't here, there's no God. Let's get married and move on. Jane holds up her hand as an older woman, her mum, stands up ready to scream. JANE (Between her teeth) What are you doing? Christian's face comes closer as he whispers loudly, failing to be discreet: CHRISTIAN The guy is nuts, he believes in God. The best man bites his lips, restraining laughter. JANE He's a priest, this is a church, this entire congregation believes in God. Are you nuts? Christian looks around and scans the audience which stares back in silence. CHRISTIAN Yea, I didn't expect getting married in a place full of bible beaters. Jane's mum holds her heart as the audience gasps even louder. People in the back start to leave. JANE What are you doing? This is our wedding day. CHRISTIAN I don't really like churches. JANE What? How? You told me you were christian. CHRISTIAN Well, you came to me at the party and asked me if I was christian and I said yea, I am. I was surprised you knew my name but I thought maybe Mark sent you. (beat) Hey Mark. He points at Mark, the best man, who waves in response. JANE I can't believe this, you lied to me. CHRISTIAN Oh get over it, it was three month ago. Jane turns to her maid of honor, grabs the bouquet and throws it into Christian's face. She then grabs her dress any way she can and leaves the church. Christian turns to Mark, pieces of flowers in his hair. CHRISTIAN Should we go for a drink?

FEEDBACK 2 I really liked the setup of this scene. I think it would be just as funny, if not funnier though, if you just jumped straight into Percy acting out his delusion without the flashback to explain it!

SCENE 4 My wife and I were once chucked out of a buffet at a wedding reception because we stole in before it was officially open and sampled the food - we'd been driving all day to get to the wedding and were starving - I didn't think we were doing anything particularly badly, but I think the waiter would have had us locked up if he could - all the more embarrassing as we were ejected in front of the rest of the guests. Anyway, that was the very lose inspiration as we still have a good laugh about it today. Started with a great idea, but I think it peters out and is a lot weaker than it sounded in my head. I can see it playing out more as a regular "Danny" sketch in a UK sketch show like The Fast Show, The League of Gentlemen or (perhaps a little arrogantly) Monty Python... Anyway, have a read and let me know if you have any ideas how to improve it! INT. SWANKY HOTEL FOYER - DAY Guests make their way into a hotel foyer, greeted by the BRIDE and GROOM, beaming from ear to ear. From here, they pass into a banquet room. After the last guests pass into the room, the Bride and Groom follow closing the door behind them. INT. BANQUET ROOM - DAY Waiters greet guests with trays carrying glasses laden with champagne and orange juice. The Bride and Groom weave their way through the crowd, shaking hands and kissing cheeks. They head for a bar area at the far side of the room. BRIDE: (through the corner of her mouth) Have you seen Danny anywhere? GROOM: No, not since the church. He'll be fine... always is. The continue on, reach the bar and the Groom grabs a pint glass and knife left ready for him on the bar. He taps it loudly to get everyone's attention. GROOM: Ladies... Ladies and gentleman... everyone... thank you... thank you for coming. Thank you. Right, the buffet will be ready shortly, while you wait please enjoy the drinks coming around and I have put some money behind the bar, so do take advantage of that. The BARMAN leans over the bar an says something to the Groom. GROOM: What... he... really? The room is quiet. GROOM: Sorry everyone, minor technical hitch... just enjoy the drinks and the bar and we'll have the buffet open soon! He turns to the Barman and his new wife looks concerned. GROOM: How much did he drink? The Barman says something indistinct. GROOM: Jeeeeeeezus Christ on a bike. BRIDE: Danny? GROOM: Yeah, your brother's surpassed himself this time. BRIDE: You said we shouldn't be stressing... today of all days. GROOM: That's it, blame me. He looks around the room. A waiter comes over and whispers in his ear. GROOM : The buffet is ready. Get everyone in, keep them amused and I'll go check his room. BRIDE: (banging the glass again) Everyone, please... your attention... the buffet is now open! A wait flings open the double doors to the buffet room. The crowd surges forward, then the screaming starts. The Bride and Groom push through the crowd to see what the fuss is. They reach the doors and are greeted by Danny, utterly pissed and completely naked apart from the wedding cake he has managed to wear like a creamy, puff-ball dress. DANNY: (slurry) Haaaaaapy Birthdaaayyyyyyyyyyyy Siiiiisssssssssss! He throws his arms up in the air for a cuddle, trips and falls flat on his face, his buttocks naked apart from a pair of small marzipan bride and groom figurines sitting atop his left cheek. Silence The Groom just stares as his Bride. BRIDE: Oh sh -- not again Danny! The Groom's eyes widen as he continues to stare.

That's a good idea. Start with the craziest image and then pull back to reality. Thanks, zty.

SCENE 3 EXT. INN - NIGHT An old inn sits up on a hill, a lush green lawn leading down to a lake. A wedding reception is in full swing on the patio, guests dancing and laughing under the lights. Everyone appears to be having a great time. Everyone except ERIKA, who barrels through the party in her wedding gown. She looks distressed. A few guests try to calm her, but she brushes them off and keeps moving. She charges across the lawn, down the hill. She goes to a group of guys who are standing around a tree near the lake. ERIKA: Have you seen Scott? The group turns to her. They eye her nervously. JIM: Well, um… ERIKA (deadly): Where is he, Jim? JIM: He’s in the tree. ERIKA: He’s WHAT? Jim points up to the tree. Sure enough, Scott is sitting among the branches, swaying precariously. He spies Erika. SCOTT: Hey, baa-by! I love you! Erika faces shifts between hilarity and horror. ERIKA: Love you, too! She turns back to the groomsmen. ERIKA (CNTD): So what are we supposed to do now? DAVE: Maybe not have an open bar next time? DAVE cowers under Erika’s glare. ERIKA: Seriously. How are we going to get him down? SCOTT: You want me to come down? I’ll come down! He leans forward, preparing to dive headfirst out of the tree. EVERYONE: NO!!! JIM: I’ll call the fire department. He pulls out his cell phone. Erika’s mother, LYNNE, comes down the hill towards them. LYNNE: Erika? What’s going on? ERIKA: Scott’s in the tree. LYNNE: What? Why? Erika shrugs. ERIKA: He got drunk. He climbed a tree. Lynne turns on the groomsmen. LYNNE: How did this happen? They give noncommittal answers. Erika leans against the tree trunk as she pulls off her shoes. She hikes up her dress and steps onto a low branch. LYNNE: What are you doing? Erika ignores her and tries to climb. The dress gets in her way, but she manages to get herself up. She clambers onto a branch near Scott, close enough that she can cuddle up to him. LYNNE: Erika, what are you doing up there? SCOTT: Erika! Hi! ERIKA: If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. She sits there, resting her head on Scott’s knee.

FEEDBACK 5 Hey Kara I like that. Reminds me of a friend who used to climb trees for no reason... a lot! And I just like the absurdity of the line, "He's in the tree"... I can almost imagine it being said matter of fact by his friend, almost as if they think it is a trick question. I can also see this as the end scene in a short film - someone coming to terms with the eccentricities of their other half after a set up about the differences between these two characters, she tries to change him, nearly loses him, realises she loves him and the best show of her true love is climbing a tree with him... more so than getting married! Maybe, something like that! Probably a bit cheesy, but it would be a nice, visual ending/confirmation (in my mind....)! :-)

Hey Aurélien, I liked the twist with Christian's name and the fact it was misunderstood to also be his faith. One would think that before the wedding day, the bride and groom would be on the same page with this though, and I wonder why they weren't. Perhaps it was a hastily scheduled ceremony for some reason? Maybe he was being shipped overseas or something? Maybe she tricked him somehow? That would be interesting to know and perhaps you explain it later, but I did wonder about that in this scene. THIS IS MY FIFTH COMMENT.

SCENE 01 INT. WHITE WEDDING PALOUR - NIGHT UNCLE DIMITRI (V.O.): Handcrafted. A water glass is filled with with pure liquid, a handwritten sticker says „Wodka“. It pours over the edge. BRIDE HELEN: Oh my Goodness. GROOM MAXIM (soft): It‘s tradition. UNCLE DIMITRI: Good tradition. The recipe is from Maxim‘s grandfather. Helen takes the glass, she and uncle Dimitri crosses arms to drink. She just manage to drink half out of the glass and stops. HELEN: Oh my Goodness. Uncle Dimitri laughs, she finish the glass and has to hold onto the table for a moment. Her husband caress her shoulder. Suddenly everything is dark. Helen staggers. HELEN: What... Sparklers enlightens a table across the dance-floor. Four violinists start to play „Your the sunshine of my life“. A spotlight goes to a WOMAN on the table. The MAN on her side falls on his knees. A collective „Ahhh“ goes through the room. MAN: Karin, you are the real sunshine of my life. He takes a little box out of his pocket. KARIN: Oh my Goodness. HELEN (loud): What the fuck? UNCLE DIMITRI (joyful): It‘s tradition. MAXIM: They say, it‘s good luck for bride and groom. HELEN: This is MY Wedding. MAXIM: C‘omon. Jim is waiting for this moment for 10 years. Helen joins the proposing Jim, takes the box out of his hands. HELEN: This is MY wedding. MAXIM: No. It‘s our... It was. He leaves the room.

FEEDBACK 04 Hi Mark, I like the idea a lot. But you could shorten the scene a lot in the little, as you but there a lot of information (without the scene would work) and even double it (strange brother). you could concentrate a little bit more on the "corpus delicti", the buffet and build tension out of it: The groom says they'll open the buffet before he tells a little story. Then the waiter comes, and says, that the brother made something strange with the buffet (put the antipasti to the wall), therefore groom says to the guets "Buffet has to wait", but the bride wants to search her brother, because she knows that things could go worse. And then she says: Open it anyways" - and then she finds her brother. I would cut her last sentence, as it don't tell much (and repeats, that her brother does strange things). Or, if you refer that the brother had already put himself naked in cake, then it should be more clear: "I already hated it on my 17th birthday." And perhaps not everybody is shocked. If the brother is really handsome, there might be some girls and guys thinking about how to get the cake and the cream down this guy. Bests

Thanks Katha - I agree, I think it needs a bit more work and it does perhaps need a bit more "set-up" with the brother. The last line is a bit "cliched" I guess... could probably do with being less generic to up the comedy - try and think of a really obscure location that this might have happened before - like the 7th birthday, or cousin Albert's Christening - somewhere where getting naked in a cake is probably a step too far! Cheers Mark

more set-up, or less (as the unreliable brother is a kind of trope which is easy understandable) I like the idea that the scene reminds her of something very old - but she never forgave him THAT. might be a good joke but it might be also hard to put it in ONE punch-line ;)

FEEDBACK 4 This is totally not what I had expected. He leaving the room. It makes me wonder how well they knew each other and if they had planned the wedding together because she's totally surprised by what is going on. I feel the scene might come off stronger if you switch the two incidents. First the proposal. She's clearly not amused. Then the drinking. She doesn't like it either, but gives in, maybe a little too much and embarrasses her groom. They argue and he leaves.

Thanks for the feedback. It seems as I should work on the description. With the drinking, she should not be surprised but it's a different thing talking about drinking much and actually doing it. I had the idea that there is a cut-scene at the beginning that it's not the first but the 4th big glass of wodka. Would it make things clearer? I liked that you are surprised that he leaves. But then I didn't make the reasons for it clear enough.

Hey Aurélien. Nice scene. It gets right down to it with the drama and comedy. It is over-the-top in that it couldn't really play out in any longer fashion as it's kind of hard to swallow that the two never figured out the misunderstanding, prior to their wedding day. However, if to be taken lightly, as an anecdotal scene or as a short skit or segment in a comedy variety show, it can be uproariously funny since it bangs right through from start to finish. Good work, keep writing!

SCENE 7 INT. BANQUET HALL - NIGHT A wedding reception is in full swing. Music blares, colorful lights flash. The bride and groom lead a rocking dance party. In a dark corner near the bar, four 40-year-old guys stand at a cocktail table. TOM, run of the mill, NEIL, dorky, RAJ, speaks with an accent, and PHIL, sweaty, intoxicated and slurring his words. They watch the action on the dance floor. TOM: Ah, to be young. PHIL: Come on. We're young, damn it. NEIL: As opposed to senior citizens? PHIL: Five bucks for whoever gets laid first. No takers. Phil, disappointed, downs his drink, spills some. The song ends and DOUG addresses the crowd over the mic. DOUG: Thanks for coming. My all time favorite band, Five and Dime, should be ready any minute. For now, y'all can get on down to this. Doug hits play on an iPod and Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" starts up. The crowd gets right into it. PHIL: You know, Tom, if it weren't for you, we could be playing Doug's wedding. TOM: It was twenty years ago, Phil. You know, I think it's time I hit the road. NEIL: Mind if I hitch a ride? Tom gestures and he and Neil exit the banquet hall. PHIL: Well, Raj, looks like it's just us. Phil slides a shot in front of Raj, who does a quick scan of the room. He's about to down it when -- AJA appears behind him. Frightened, he quickly sets down the shot. AJA: Come on, I want to dance with my fiancée. Aja drags Raj out into the sea of people. Phil's bubble has officially burst. He downs both shots. INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT A tattooed LONGHAIRED DUDE leans on the wall near the sinks. The sound of violent vomiting echoes as Phil stumbles in. LONGHAIRED DUDE (O.S.): Come on, Dirk. What the fuck. Phil relieves himself at the urinal when the stall toilet flushes. Out shuffles DIRK, 35, shades, perm and a top hat. LONGHAIRED DUDE (O.S.): We're already thirty minutes late. DIRK (O.S.): Let me just throw some water on my face. LONGHAIRED DUDE (O.S.): Keep the shades on, you look wasted. DIRK (O.S.): Oh, shit. He rushes back into the stall, bumps shoulders with Phil, who's on his way to the sink. Violent vomiting is heard. Longhaired Dude marches past, talks through the stall door. LONGHAIRED DUDE: We'll tide 'em over. If you're not out there in two fucking minutes, I swear to god, that's it. Phil eyes Longhaired dude through the mirror as he stomps out of the bathroom. More vomiting is heard, then silence. OUTSIDE THE STALL Phil listens. PHIL: You okay in there, bud? He nudges the stall door. Dirk is passed out in front of the toilet. Phil taps him. No response. He feels for a heartbeat. PHIL: Been there. Sleep it off, friend. He spots something in Dirk's shirt pocket. It's a coke vile. He gently pulls it out, locks the stall door, then snorts a few quick bumps. While he looks at Dirk, something dawns on him. INT. BANQUET HALL - NIGHT The band has taken the stage to a very delighted audience. LONGHAIRED DUDE: We're Five and Dime A one, a two, a one, two, three, four. The band busts into Stevie Wonder's "Superstition." Everyone begins to boogie on down. BACKSTAGE POV PHIL: Peeks out through the curtains. The band, minus Dirk, is bringing down the house. BANQUET HALL The curtains blast open and out struts a drunken Phil, wearing Dirk's shades and his top hat. Phil grabs the microphone as the crowd cheers. Band members look at one another, confused. Longhaired Dude, at the drums, motions the band to keep playing. The lights shine brightly back at Phil as he gears up for his big moment.

Scene 8 Barry hands Dan a glass of water. Barry: Let’s slow down a little bit, buddy. Dan: I just don’t get what she sees in him. Barry: He’s a nice guy. Dan: Whose side are you on, Hitler? Barry: I’m on your side. But I’m also on the side of being cool about everything. Dan downs his water and slams the empty like it’s a shot. Dan: I’ll have another! Barry flags down the bartender. Barry: Another water for my friend. Barry looks up to see Dan’s grabbed a bottle of whiskey and headed for the stage. Barry rushes after him but an OLDER LADY stops him OLDER LADY: Barry. This is the granddaughter I was telling you about. The Granddaughter is gorgeous. Barry’s torn. Barry: Hi. Granddaughter: I’m Jessica. Dan’s up on stage now and has the microphone in one hand and the whiskey in the other. Dan: Some of you know me, for those of you who don’t, I’m Sarah’s ex, Dan. Barry looks up, oh shit. Barry: Excuse me. He runs towards the stage. Dan: Love’s a funny thing because sometimes the woman you love leaves you with nothing but a broken heart and chlamydia. That’s right. Either Sarah had chlamydia or the hooker I found in Tijuana forgot to disclose her STD status. Life’s a balancing act and some are up while others are down and I guess that makes sense because happiness is relative so if everybody was happy nobody would be happy because how would you know it if you didn’t see the miserable people? So the worst day of my life happens to be the best day of theirs. Anyway, here’s to the bride and groom on the happiest day of their lives. I’d like to offer you the same gift you offered me. From behind Dan we see the shocked faces of the whole reception as he begins to take a piss on the stage. Dan: Just pretend the stage is your happiness, because you pissed all over mine. Barry gets up on stage and grabs Dan. Barry: Hey buddy, let’s get you home. Dan: I don’t want to go home. I want to go to the strip club. Dan jerks away and falls into the puddle on stage. Barry: OK sure, let’s get you to the strip club. Dan pops up and Barry leads him off stage. Dan: We’re going to the strip club! After party at the strip club! Who’s coming with?!

Feedback 9 I enjoyed this. I didn't feel like anyone did anything out of character but I wasn't ever sure what they were going to do next. It kept me guessing which is always nice. Good job!

FEEDBACK 5 Tillery Your scene is really good. Very good imagery, great flow and the buddy chemistry between Dan and Barry is excellent. My only concern is the long speech Dan makes. What he is saying is very strong from the start so it is hard to imagine that nobody tried to stop him. The shock of the audience during and after is very subdued for what is happening. I would break up the speech with some images from the reaction of the audience, both negative and angry: shocked faces, people running trying to switch off the feed to the microphone; people trying to jump the stage; I even would include the faces of the wife and groom as they are important for the scene. Otherwise, good writing. Well done. R

SCENE TWO INT. DANCE ROOM – NIGHT The wedding party is rolling. The vibe is great. Guests dance, talk and have a wonderful good time. A live band sings a slow song. The newlyweds – MARC AND JULIE- dance tightly. DIANE – 30sh and in a long dress- envies the couple. If eyes could kill, Julie would have been dead. Diane puts down her drink, jostles through the dancing crowd and finds her way, falling and stumbling like a drunk, to the stage and the live band. She lifts up her long dress, revealing her bare butt and pink thong, and hoists herself up the stage. Guests close to her stare at her, flabbergasted. Diane grabs for the mike from the MALE SINGER. He pushes her hand away, turns his back to her and walks away from her. Diane pulls him back at his jacket. He loses his balance and lets the mike fall onto the stage. A sound echoes across the room. The guests are shocked. The singer makes a move for the mike, but Diane beats him. DIANE: Ladies and gentlemen. I want to sing a lovely song for my dearest friend Marc who fucked me (surprise erupts from the crowd) the night before his wedding and said he loved me. I believe he --- Before she can finish her speech, the FATHER OF THE GROOM snatches the mike, and another male guest ushers Diane from the stage. Father of the groom: She's obviously very very drunk (laughs) Please – let's continue this party and signs to the band. Julie strides away from the party, Marc in her trail. The band resumes and plays a cheerful song.