Scene 2 INT. CONFESSIONAL BOOTH FATHER “Tommy” THOMAS (33, athletic, military hair cut) sits on one side, OFFICER “Nate” NATHAN (44, police uniform, chubby) sits on the other. Father Thomas is lost in thought, not really paying attention. OFFICER NATHAN Couldn’t even recognize her, face beaten so bad. 5 broken ribs, barely breathing. Poor Suzy. But her husband, Carl, that piece of shit— FATHER THOMAS Nate, language, please. OFFICER NATHAN Sorry, Tommy. That piece of garbage was 100X worse off. Deserved every break, every fracture, every bruise. Even deserves the coma’s he’s in. Father Thomas closes his eyes, lowers his head. FATHER THOMAS Is he going to be ok? OFFICER NATHAN Probably, doc says he should pull through. Be in a wheel chair the rest of his life, though. Officer Nathan does a side glance, notices Father Thomas slightly shaking his head. OFFICER NATHAN Can’t tell you how many times we were called to their house. But Suzy would never… (beat) They’re in your parish, aren’t they? FATHER THOMAS …Yes. Officer Nathan’s phone BEEPS, he reads a text. OFFICER NATHAN Gotta go, Tommy. Both men exit the confessional. INT. CHURCH – CONTINUOUS Officer Nathan stands tall while Father Thomas kinda slumps, head down. FATHER THOMAS Nate, I have to tell— OFFICER NATHAN I’m glad someone believes in “an-eye-for-an-eye.” That was the only way justice was ever gonna be served. Surprised, Father Thomas looks Officer Nathan in the eye. Nate grins, then looks at a huge stained glass window: Angels with swords battling Demons as God watches. OFFICER NATHAN God doesn’t work in such mysterious ways. He sends those who can help. Whether it’s angels using swords or (looks at Nate) an ex-Marine boxers using fists. Nate extends his hand, Tommy hesitates for a second but then grabs it. They shake a couple time when Nate turns Father Thomas’ hand up, revealing the bruises/cuts on his knuckles. OFFICER NATHAN Next time, wear gloves. Nate SLAPS Tommy on the arm, starts heading out when he looks back over his shoulder. OFFICER NATHAN And I swear, if I have to send one more unit out to the Ritchie’s because of Leroy’s “problem,” I’m gonna… They’re in your parish, aren’t they? Officer Nathan smiles, exits. Father Thomas finally stands tall as his face turns confident, serious. He clenches his fists, ready for round 2.

coma not "coma's" boxer not "boxers" Plurals and apostrophes, the bane of my proofreading ;)

You should have prefaced that with FEEDBACK Frankie - I presume that would count...if you fedback on your own scene? :-) Nice scene though, I liked the build up and you had me wondering what the priest was going to confess too- nicely done so he doesn't actually confess to anything - pleasure to read!

And look what I did with "to" or "too". D'Oh!

SCENE 2 INT. CONFESSIONAL - DAY PETER sits leaning against the inside panel of the confessional booth. Thought the grating, FATHER JON THOMAS is waiting. PETER: Forgive me father for I have sinned. FATHER JON THOMAS: Haven't we all? PETER: Sorry? FATHER JON THOMAS: Let he who has no sin Peter. PETER: I just want to confess. FATHER JON THOMAS: To what my child? PETER: Theft... I've been stealing.. to feed my addiction. The POP of a cork leaving a wine bottle and the GLUG of Peter gulping. FATHER JON THOMAS: We all have our weaknesses Peter. PETER: Even you? FATHER JON THOMAS: Especially me Peter... I have secrets... secrets I can't keep any longer. PETER: (laughing) Such as? Father Jon Thomas shifts in his seat, the wooden seat creaks obscuring his words. Peter glugs down some wine. FATHER JON THOMAS: ...pissed in communion... PETER: Really!? I don't think anyone noticed... I certainly didn't. FATHER JON THOMAS: It's that cheap wine... too easy. I've been doing it for years, It's a compulsion. PETER: Like stealing. FATHER JON THOMAS: Exactly, Peter, just like that. I'm not sure if I can stop. PETER: Me neither, it just comes over me, I feel alive, like I'm invincible. FATHER JON THOMAS: It's harder now though, I have to drink a lot before the service, otherwise I can't perform. PETER: Same here... FATHER JON THOMAS: You don't sound surprised? PETER: You're only human father. FATHER JON THOMAS: I expected a different reaction if I am honest. PETER: Why? I suspect a lot of the congregation do the same as you. FATHER JON THOMAS: What, piss in the communion wine? A COUGH and SPLUTTER, the sounds of SPITTING. A door slams and the patter of feet as Peter runs out of the church.

FEEDBACK 1 I really like this - the dialogue is well-done and the twist is really funny. My only critique is that it doesn't quite seem believable that the priest wouldn't say more to address such a serious confession. Maybe work a bit more with Peter's confession and a little less with the priest's.

Hi Kara! Thanks! I agree, it is tricky to get the balance right - to make it realistic that the priest would suddenly come out with this confession and how Peter sort of ends up taking the confessions when he should be pushing for forgiveness for his own - its the beauty of exercises like this, really makes you think about getting a message across quickly, succinctly and believably!

This is a particularly challenging one because you need to create a character and/or circumstance in which it's plausible a priest would be the person confessing something. Some nice takes so far. Let's see what other folks can come up with. Onward!

Scene 02 INT. CONFESSIONAL In the semidarkness, Father MACKENZIE (60s) sits facing the wooden lattice screen. CREAK the door opens. FOOTSTEPS. A human shape in the shadow behind the screen. CREAK someone kneels. WOMAN Father, forgive my sins. FATHER MACKENZIE Welcome, my child. Repent and God will forgive you. WOMAN Won't you just give me a few hail-Marys and get me off the hook? Father MacKenzie is taken aback. FATHER MACKENZIE That's not how it works. Aren't you a Catholic? WOMAN I am tonight. Father Mackenzie furrows a troubled brow. FATHER MACKENZIE Who are you? WOMAN A sinner. FATHER MACKENZIE What do you want? WOMAN Confession. FATHER MACKENZIE And you seek absolution, God's forgiveness? WOMAN No, what I seek is your confession. The wooden lattice BURSTS, pieces and splinters SHOWER Father Mackenzie, who RECOILS, a HAMMER in the broken frame withdraws, a PISTOL with sound suppressor replaces it. The WOMAN (30s), pashmina draped around her head, eyes like flints, hand rock-steady. Father Mackenzie, terrified. FATHER MACKENZIE Who are you? WOMAN You won't remember me. Just one of many. Only, I survived. And I came back, in my name and in the name of all the others. FATHER MACKENZIE I did nothing! WOMAN Sins of omission. You could have done something, you should have done something, instead of just wiping your hands. Father Mackenzie lets his head hang, eyes still riveted to the black hole of the gun. WOMAN The others will have their turn. Now, you repent, Father. Confess, ask for forgiveness. Father Mackenzie struggles for words. Breaks down. FATHER MACKENZIE Yes, yes, I could have done something. Please, forgive me. WOMAN Only God forgives. Her hand doesn't falter. Father Mackenzie's eyes go wide as he realizes his fate. FATHER MACKENZIE Who are you? WOMAN Call me Azrael. She fires.

Scene 1 INT. CONFESSIONAL BOOTH – DAY DET. ARMSTRONG (late 50s) grimaces as he kneels in the confessional booth. Painfully, he closes the short green curtain to provide him with a hint of privacy. On the other side, FATHER DURANGO recoils from the smell of whiskey and sweat from the person next to him. Det. Armstrong's voice is coarse and he speaks as if every word he says is painful. DET. ARMSTRONG: Bless me father for I have sinned. It's been more than... 30 years since my last confession. FATHER DURANGO: My son, it is never too late to welcome you back to the flock. Tell me. What grieves your heart? DET. ARMSTRONG: I... I'm a bad cop. Father Durango is taken aback by this revelation. FATHER DURANGO: What do you mean? DET. ARMSTRONG: I mean that in my 35 years in the force I have done everything that can be considered wrong, morally objectionable and flat out illegal. Det. Armstrong stops to cough and take his breath. FATHER DURANGO: Are you okay? DET. ARMSTRONG: I have cheated, fornicated, lied, stolen... and killed. FATHER DURANGO: Look my son, Heaven's doors are open to all those who deeply repent their sins, but I cannot give you absolution unless you also commit yourself to come clean in front of your peers and face man's justice. DET. ARMSTRONG: But I am not looking for absolution. His cough is stronger now. Det. Armstrong pulls out and uses a dirty old handkerchief to clean the spit and blood coming from his mouth. FATHER DURANGO: Then what are you doing here? DET. ARMSTRONG: The only thing I truly repent is not being able to keep a promise I made years ago. FATHER DURANGO: A promise? You are not making any sen-- DET. ARMSTRONG: Gina Lopez Father Durango shifts in his seat, but recomposes himself. He has trained himself well over the years to control his reactions. DET. ARMSTRONG: Bradley O'Connor. Desmond Torres. Natalia Perez. You see Father, I know it was you. A mischievous smile runs across Father Durango's face. FATHER DURANGO: Okay. I'm game. Explain yourself. DET. ARMSTRONG: Gina's mother came pleading for justice against the man who raped and killed her daughter. You see, Gina was only 10 and that filled me with rage, so I promised I would help. But now Gina's mother is dead. FATHER DURANGO: (ironically) Oh! I'll pray for them. DET. ARMSTRONG: For the first time in my life I did my job. I searched for the clues, found the patterns, linked the evidence and the other victims. And everything points to you. FATHER DURANGO: I get the feeling that this “evidence” you mention is all circumstantial. So what are you looking for? A confession? DET. ARMSTRONG: If you wouldn't mind. I don't have much time left. FATHER DURANGO: Let me guess. Lung cancer? DET. ARMSTRONG: Bingo. FATHER DURANGO: Figures. Say I confess. What then? DET. ARMSTRONG: Then, nothing. Even if I recorded your confession, a good lawyer could squash it. Then it would be the word of a respected church official against that of a cop with a... bad record. FATHER DURANGO: So you are doing this for yourself? A final glimpse of a conscience before going to meet your maker? DET. ARMSTRONG: Something like that. FATHER DURANGO: Well, go in peace my son, with the knowledge that at least one time you did your job right. DET. ARMSTRONG: Thank you father. Thank you. INT. CHURCH – CONTINUOUS A large flash illuminates the confessional whilst a loud bang reverberates throughout the church. Penitents and altar boys rush to the exits as Det. Armstrong leaves the confessional, his smoking gun still in his hand. DET. ARMSTRONG: (whispering) Bad cop. He puts the gun in its holster by his side. Then he pulls out his detective's note book and a small pencil. He opens it to show a long list of names, many of which have been crossed out. He draws a line over Father Durango's name. He pockets the notebook and walks towards the back door.

FEEDBACK 2 Interesting take on a somewhat challenging premise. Something I could see playing out in a Liam Neeson movie or Robert Rodriguez flick. In reading it, I thought it had that fast and strong imagery. It could play straighter but I think action film is the way to go. This would work great as the opening scene to a movie... the event that sets the plot into motion. Nice job

SCENE 2 INT. CHURCH - DAY A few sporadic church-goers pray, some with rosaries. A rack of votive candles, mostly lit, sets a peaceful tone. FATHER MARSHALL (76), frail but not yet broken, shuffles to the far end of the church using the pews for stability. His POV: The stained glass windows detailing "The Stations of the Cross" line the wall. He struggles slightly for air, stops for a moment of rest. His POV: The looming confessional. He grabs his chest and falls to the ground. Church-goers rush to his aid. His eyes are closed and his body lies lifeless as help arrives. CHURCH-GOER #1: Father, are you okay? CHURCH-GOER #2: Somebody call an ambulance. At that, Father Marshall opens his eyes. He blinks rapidly. CHURCH-GOER #3: Oh my God. Are you okay, Father Marshall? His focus returns. He takes a deep breath. CHURCH-GOER #2: Should we call a doctor? FATHER MARSHALL: I don't believe that'll be necessary. Just a little fall. The church-goers help him to his feet, then slowly disperse. Father Marshall makes his way to the confessional and enters. A red light goes on above his booth. FATHER MARSHALL'S BOOTH Pitch black darkness. A match flares, briefly casting shadows behind him. He lights a red votive. Blows out the match. Red fluid light ripples across his face as he takes a breath. FATHER MARSHALL: Bless me Father for I have sinned. I confess daily my lord but decades of time have come and gone and the shame I felt back in 1969 is still upon -- An all-powerful voice rips through the confessional screen, frightening Father Marshall to his very core. ALL-POWERFUL VOICE: Michael. My son. An unnerved Father Marshall squints into the screen. FATHER MARSHALL: My lord? Is it you? GOD (O.S.): Indeed, it is, Michael. Confusion combined with fear washes over Father Marshall. He cracks the door to his confessional and peeks out. THE CHURCH Father Marshall knocks on the opposing booth. No response. He peers inside. IT'S EMPTY! He retreats back into -- HIS BOOTH The red votive flickers in his eyes. FATHER MARSHALL: My lord, the souls of all those I have wronged have haunted me since I was but a young man. I know now what I did was wrong. GOD (O.S.): You say the words, my son, but in your heart you still deny. FATHER MARSHALL: But that isn't so -- GOD (O.S.): My son, you are not yet ready to face the wrongs of your past. A beam of white light cuts through the screen and across Father Marshall's face. His expression is of both "confusion" & "fear." FATHER MARSHALL: But I confess, father. I am sorry for my sins. Those children did nothing to deserve -- The light's intensity grows, scaring him silent. It quickly floods out the entire booth. FATHER MARSHALL: Father. I am truly sorry. He reaches into the light, his fear turns to acceptance... and we SMASH CUT TO: INT. CHURCH - DAY Several church-goers look down upon us. Father Marshall slowly opens his eyes, looks up at them. The group helps him up to his feet. CHURCH-GOER #1: Are you okay, father? FATHER MARSHALL: I believe so. For the first time in forty-six years, my son. I believe so. He gently pats their helping hands away and they disperse to their pews. He makes his way to the back of the church. Father Marshall stares at the confessional booth and it stares right back at him. He enters. The booth's red light goes on.

Thanks, Willsho

FEEDBACK 01 Hi, Ricardo This scene feels like the middle of a movie, it certainly opens up possibilities. Just a nitpick for you: FATHER DURANGO recoils from the smell of whiskey and sweat from the person next to him There's no way the audience knows why Durango recoils, so: FATHER DURANGO takes a sniff, wrinkles his nose and pulls away from-- This way, they'll know it's about the smell. Cheers

FEEDBACK 02 Hi, Wilsho Confessing directly to God sure is a different twist on the subject. "his body lies lifeless" - you meant listless? Or did he really die and was resurrected? In which case, I feel it needs to be more explicit, I was a bit loss in the middle--but perhaps you intended that, as Father Marshall is also confused at it. Darkness/Light Black/White/ Red You write with visuals in mind, it'll look good on screen.

As usual, you are spot on. Thanks.

Good catch. Didn't think about it prior, but "lifeless" can definitely create for reader confusion. Thanks for the feedback!

SCENE CHALLENGE #2 INT. CHURCH - DAY FATHER TAFANI sees LORETTA enter the church. They approach each other in silence. When they meet -- LORETTA: You said it was important. I hope so because... FATHER TAFANI: Relax, Loretta. Come and sit a minute. LORETTA: …because this isn't exactly my venue of choice. They walk towards a confessional. FATHER TAFANI: I know. Please. Sit. They each take their respective places in the confessional. FATHER TAFANI (cont'd): You'll like this. LORETTA: What. The priest pulls out something. Slides it to Loretta. A SNAKE! LORETTA (cont'd): Is he for me? FATHER TAFANI: It's a she. Or so they assured me. I didn't check personally. A companion for... for what's-his-name. LORETTA: My Brutus? FATHER TAFANI: You found him, I presume? LORETTA: He's still in the rafters. I know for certain he's up there somewhere looking down at me. FATHER TAFANI: Maybe she can lure Brutus out of hiding. Loretta inspects her new darling, but she seems a bit inert. FATHER TAFANI (cont'd): She's probably nervous. She traveled all the way from Comoros. Along with hissing cockroaches, I might add. Loretta looks at him strangely. LORETTA: Hissing cockroaches? I didn't know they hissed. FATHER TAFANI: Ted makes a sizable donation to the church when I bring the exotics to him from Madagascar. We can do a lot of good with that money. Which is what I needed to talk to you about… THIS IS MY POST #2.

Roy, I really liked reading this! It read to me like a teaser or cold open almost. I like your crisp character descriptions a lot. One question: I am not Catholic so I don't know the answer to this, but aren't repenters anonymous when they confess? I realize in small communities, the priest probably recognizes everyone's voice, anyway, but I just wondered if the priest would ask Who are you? even in these unusual circumstances. I might give the woman a name. Not necessarily her real one, but maybe something like "A woman (30s) who we'll call PASHIMA on account of the pashmina draped around her head..." or, ""A woman (30s) who we'll learn calls herself AZRAEL..." But that's probably just my stylistic preference. Overall, I really liked it and wonder what you had in mind with Azrael (the angel who severs the soul from the body at death) who is obviously an important character? THIS IS MY THIRD COMMENT.

Wilsho, I like the idea of GOD being an off-screen character as it opens up a lot of possibilities if done well which I expect it would be! Interesting notion. I agree with Roy's comment about the good visuals, and especially the black/white/red which would undoubtedly recur in the script at appropriate times. I might distinguish the church-goers--not a lot since they aren't main characters, or maybe consolidate their dialog a bit. Just a personal preference of course. THIS IS MY FOURTH COMMENT.

Thanks Liz!

Thanks for your comments, Liz. Yes, the screen is to keep anonymity, but in the circumstances, I feel the priest would be curious as to who the person was. I always outline, but these scene exercises, I treat as improvisations in first draft mode, which means that when I wrote Woman, I had no idea she would wear a Pashmina (I seem to have gotten right what it is, eh?), or about Azrael--which ends answering your final question. I suppose the religious motif led me to it. But it can be the start of something...

FEEDBACK 03 Hi, Liz This scene needs more conflict. I'd suggest either having Loretta strongly opposed to entering the church or start right at "They take their places" and have Loretta really shocked at Father Tafani's actions and "confession", probably including whatever he was going to say next. Should we read something into him giving her a big snake?

FEEDBACK 2 I like the visual writing and the scene reads easily. The interaction with God is a bit daunting. It makes me wonder what the Father Marshall's sin is. You mention somewhere children, but you lack to mention what he did to those children, which raises the suspense. Do you refer to potential abuse or is it something else?

SCENE 06 INT. CONFESSIONAL BOX - DAY Jane (42), pretty but serious, waits for the father saying her absolution. His English has still a strong Indian accent. FATHER SING: I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen. JANE: Amen. It‘s good talking to you. FATHER SING: Vice versa. You‘re an easy client. JANE: I want to leave. FATHER SING: You can. Just a few Ave Marias to go. JANE: No. I want to leave the city... Sing‘s face freezes. JANE: Nobody cares about me here. Neither my husband, nor my son. Nobody loves me here. FATHER SING: Somebody does. JANE: Jesus is not enough. He never makes me laugh when I cry. FATHER SING: He has troubles finding good ghost writers for the punchlines. JANE: He has you. But me? FATHER SING: Jane, look, he made you a good person and a pretty person and he would never leave you without anyone. JANE (with tears in her eyes): There is nobody. FATHER SING: There is. I‘m sure. I know it with every piece of my heart. I know that I... Jane interrupts him by jumping up and out of the confessional box. Sing leans back to the boxes wall and closes his eyes. A ray of sunlight touches his face while the curtain moves a bit. Jane‘s hand touches his laying in his lap. Hope.

Now that's a thought. Thanks for the feedback Shari

Scene 3 INT. CONFESSIONAL BOOTH - DAY MARLA (16) sits in the dark and slides open the shutter to the other side revealing a dark screen. MARLA:Forgive me father for I have sinned. And this is my first time so I kinda don’t know what to do. FATHER (O.S.):That’s fine. The first step is admitting to yourself that you’re a sinner. What sins have you committed? MARLA:Oh OK, well I got into this fight with this stupid girl in my class. FATHER (O.S.):Did you win? MARLA: Uhh, I don’t think there’s ever a winner in these type of situations. FATHER (O.S.):Then you lost. Tell me, why did you get into a fight with this young lady? MARLA:She started a rumor about me in school. She said that I only liked older men because I have daddy issues. FATHER (O.S.):Which part was the rumor? MARLA:My father and I have a great relationship. FATHER (O.S.):So, when she said liked older men, what did she mean? Have you acted on these feelings? MARLA:Yeah, my last boyfriend was twenty six, then there was my dads coworker Phillip, and the janitor at our school I think is in his forty's. FATHER (O.S.):You’ve had sexual relations with these men? MARLA:Well not at the same time. FATHER (O.S.):I think this is the sin you’ve came to confess. How was it? MARLA:What!!! FATHER (O.S.):The sex? MARLA:I know I’m new to this but I’m pretty sure you priest aren’t suppose to ask things like that. FATHER (O.S.):Just wondered if you imagined a good or bad experience. I guess it’s time I did my own confessing. MARLA:Is this normal? FATHER (O.S.):Marla, ever since you’ve come to this campus you been lying to everyone. Lying about you imaginary tryst with older men; jeopardizing the career of workers on this campus and the lives of family men. MARLA:Who are you? She opens the dark screen and sees MR. WILLIAMS, a man in his forty’s wearing a suit and tie with an honest face. MR.WILLAMS:Sorry for the dramatics Marla, I often come here to easy my own mind. But When you sat in the seat of the priest and started confessing I knew this would be a great opportunity for us to finally meet. And stop blowing off our meetings, you obviously have some deep seeded issues. MARLA:Well, now I have trust issues.

Scene 2 INT. CONFESSIONAL BOOTH - DAY FATHER LOGAN sits with his head leaned back, his eyes glazed, drumming his fingers on the arm of his chair. An elderly man, he exudes boredom. The drumming stops, he studies his thumbnail. Leaning forward, he reaches under his chair, pulls out a nail file, takes care of a ragged edge and sighs. He hears someone enter the booth. He quickly puts the file away and sits up straight expectantly. MARY BETH: Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been three weeks since my last confession and these are my sins. FATHER LOGAN: Yes, yes. MARY BETH: Twice I was so mad at my husband that I wanted to slap him. Father Logan leans closer to the lattice separating them. FATHER LOGAN: And did you? MARY BETH: No. But I wanted to. Father Logan sinks back, clearly disappointed. MARY BETH: Once I stubbed my toe and I said “dog-gonnit.” Now I know that isn’t really a bad word but it is a replacement for (whispers) the G-D word. So I thought I should confess it. Father Logan rubs his brow and sighs. MARY BETH: Once I was alone in a room with a man who was not my husband. Father Logan straightens up again. There are several moments of silence. FATHER LOGAN: And? MARY BETH: And what? FATHER LOGAN: You were alone in a room with a man who was not your husband. What happened? MARY BETH: Nothing happened. FATHER LOGAN: Nothing? MARY BETH: Nothing. FATHER LOGAN: No exchange of sultry glances? MARY BETH (shocked): Of course not. FATHER LOGAN: No accidentally brushing up against each other resulting in lewd thoughts? MARY BETH (outraged): Father! Father Logan rubs his temples then looks up. FATHER LOGAN: Merciful God, Holy Father, you have placed me here by your divine will but I confess that I am completely, totally, and utterly bored. MARY BETH: Wh-what? FATHER LOGAN (loudly): Bored! Week after week, hour after hour, I listen to people drone on and on about the stupidest, piddling things. “I shut the door on the cat’s tail.” “I forgot to say thank you.” “I left the milk out and it soured, forgive me for being wasteful.” MARY BETH: Wait a minute. Is the milk thing a sin? Because I’ve done that. Father Logan sighs. There is a long silence. MARY BETH: So, am I absolved? FATHER LOGAN: I absolve you of your sins. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. There are rustling noises as Mary Beth leaves. Father Logan sighs and looks up. FATHER LOGAN: Nothing ever happens in this town.

INT. CONFESSIONAL - NIGHT DAMION (37), sits at his post in the confessional booth. If it weren’t for the black shirt and dog-collar, he’d look more like a punk rocker with one hell of a hangover- at least that last part’s true. He yawns, checks his watch. A SHADOW slinks into the booth beside him. PANDORA (O.S.): Forgive me father, for I have fucked up. DAMION: (sighs deeply) Hi, Pandora. PANDORA (31); purple hair, tattoo sleeves, piercings and ripped jeans, sits on the confessor’s side. PANDORA: Hey hey, confidentiality, jackass! DAMION: I’m on the clock for another twenty minutes and you are taking up confessional time- PANDORA: Yeah sorry, totally missed the huge line of housewives dying to tell you about their fingering experiences from youth camp- DAMION: Pandora. PANDORA: You walked out on me. DAMION: You told me I could leave whenever I wanted. PANDORA: Not in the middle of shit hitting the fucking fan! DAMION: I left that life for a reason. I’m not like you, I don’t live my life on the cusp of self-destruction. PANDORA: Fuck you! A beat. Both huff, frustrated. PANDORA (CONT’D): Where the fuck do you get off. DAMION: I don’t remember, part of the whole priest thing. Pandora stares at his vague shape through the partition. She bursts into laughter. PANDORA: That was good. DAMION: Yeah, I thought you’d like that. PANDORA: Permission to cross over to your side? DAMION: I don’t- Pandora bursts into his side of the confessional and he stands abruptly. Trapped. PANDORA: I know I can be a little hard to be around- Damion gives her a look- PANDORA (CONT’D): A lot, okay? A lot hard to be around. Fuck! You know you’re not so great yourself, Father High Horse- DAMION: Apology accepted. Silence. Her expression softens, as does his. They smile tentatively at each other. Suddenly the space isn’t so claustrophobic anymore. PANDORA: Good. DAMION: Yeah. PANDORA: So, that’s it? DAMION: One more thing. PANDORA: What’s tha- Damion presses his lips against hers.

Feedback 2 Shoshana we meet again, Again I was immediately pulled in by your dialogue. This plus the look of your priest not matching the normal look of a priest drew me into your scene which is great. The part that could use some work is the actual confession of the priest. All of this great dialogue just made more questions for me as a reader. I know that these two have a past and Pandora is pissed about how they left each other but the priest really doesn't say much. To make this scene pop a bit more you may want to look at the priest giving the audience a better view into this past between the two. Even a line of on the nose dialogue would work. "I don't want to sell drugs any more". Just a thought. Again I'm Jealous of your voice and again enjoyed reading..keep writing Verdell

Scene 9 Frank: So I guess I’m just sort of having trouble buying into the whole thing. What with His mysterious reasons and all. I mean why does He do the things He does? And if I don’t know that, then do I just keep blindly leading a lifetime of quiet worship? Father Doug: Can I be honest with you? I’ve been feeling the same way lately. I accidentally ate some mushrooms a little while ago and I think they’re really kicking in because I’m like right there with you. Like why be so mysterious? And to be honest, I don’t think the other Fathers know either. I mean, it’s not like we’re all back there with a big book of answers that we keep from everyone. I really want to move to Mexico. I think that’s what God wants me to do. Move to Mexico and drink margaritas and pray. Frank: So about the cancer? Father Doug: Oh right! Cuz it’s all about you. Father Doug storms out the confessional.

Feedback 10 This had me like whaaaaaaa? In a good way. It totally felt real but unexpected. And I really enjoy your writing! Great job.

FEEDBACK 13 Good laugh, thanks, Tillery Johnson! I love that you let Father Doug accuse Frank of egoism while he is totally on this trip. And his monologue has a good speed through with I can imagine that nobody would stop him. Not just because of being formalistic: You just wrote the dialogue and not any action. Especially concerning Father Doug‘s long monologue: What will we we see? Him? The booth.... Will we stay on him, or will we see Frank‘s reaction? How old are the both of them? It could sharpen Father Doug‘s self-centring if he would be quite old and Frank with cancer quite young. But it‘s not in the scene and more information would even make it funnier. Bests, Katha

Scene 2 INT. CONFESSIONAL - EVENING FATHER MATTHEW sits in his booth, eyes closed in a silent prayer. FOOTSTEPS on the floor outside, the clack of heels. Father Matthew straightens up as the door to the confessional opens, and a figure in shadows sits down. Silence. FATHER MATTHEW: Is there something you would like to confess, my child? A YOUNG WOMAN'S VOICE starts to sob quietly. YOUNG WOMAN: I'm rusty at this, Father. Father Matthew starts visibly at the voice, a flash of recognition crossing his face. It's not possible. YOUNG WOMAN: Father...Daddy, it's me. Father Matthew JOLTS, pressing his face against the grate to get a better look. He recognizes the young woman's voice as ABIGAIL, his daughter. FATHER MATTHEW: Abigail? My Abby? Father Matthew moves to exit the confessional. ABIGAIL: Don't. Don't move. Stay right there. Father Matthew halts. FATHER MATTHEW: Don't be ridiculous-- ABIGAIL: I mean it. You can't see me. I don't want you to see me. FATHER MATTHEW: We-- your mother and I thought you were dead, when we never heard from you. Where have you been all this time, Abby? ABIGAIL: I can't stay long. I'm in trouble. There's something I need to confess, Daddy-- FATHER MATTHEW: No. No, Abby. You don't need to confess anything. We just need to get you some help. Will you let me-- ABIGAIL: I--I got Sadie killed, Daddy. It's my fault she-- Father Matthew knocks his fist against the grate, holding back tears. FATHER MATTHEW: No. No, I have something to confess. God, Lord in Heaven, how can I ever be forgiven for what I've done? Abigail sobs softly on the other side of the grate. FATHER MATTHEW (CON'T): Lord, forgive me. I pushed my daughter away. I was so angered by Sadie's death, that I blamed it on her own sister. There was nothing she could have done to prevent it. I pushed my Abigail away, Lord. And for that, I am sorry. Silence from the confessional. FATHER MATTHEW: Abby? Father Matthew stumbles out of the booth, wrenching open the door to the confessional to find it empty.

Feedback 3 I really like this scene. You do a good job of showing how the relationship between Nate and Tommy a complex one, and how they obviously have a history together. It left me wanting to know more about them, and wondering what it was that Nate was going to confess. Suggestion: Maybe, once Nate leaves, Thomas can confess quietly to himself?