Scott at 2015-03-30 14:34:55:
Reviewing the Scene-By-Scene breakdown, I was reminded of several narrative elements and dynamics that helped to make this one of the best movies of 2013: * Prologue-Epilogue: Mason's pair of stories, one at the beginning, the other at the end, serve as a nifty set of bookends. Note how the first one has a 'negative' tinge to it, the epilogue a 'positive' feel, which matches the trajectory of the story's arc. BTW, the epilogue serves as a great callback to the prologue. * Smart decision to bring in an outsider (Nate). He functions as our eyes and experience, coming into this new environment. Natural opportunity for those who work in the facility to explain the rules, dynamics, etc. Exposition through character interaction. * Note the use of ticking clocks: (1) Grace discovers she is pregnant. Ticking Clock: What's she going to do about it? When is she going to tell Mason? (2) Marcus has got one week until his 18th birthday at which point he can leave the facility. Ticking Clock: How will that impact Marcus? Why is he acting out when he's so close to freedom? (3) Jayden's father is going to pick her up soon. Ticking Clock: How will Jayden manage herself while she is in the facility? One of the values of a ticking clock is the tension set into motion by them plays underneath all subsequent scenes, a subtextual dynamic roiling beneath the surface of the dialogue and action in any given scene. We, the reader, know those open-ended questions posed by the ticking clock will eventually have to be answered, which also feeds our curiosity to see what happens. * How about two of the most moving moments in the script: Marcus' rap and Jayden octopus story. Both go completely against the old movie adage: Show it, don't say it. Yet they work wonderfully in the script, even better in the movie. I actually asked Destin Daniel Cretton precisely about why he made those choices, along with the prologue and epilogue, so in essence, four times using stories to convey exposition rather than showing it. Here was his response:
Destin: I’m actually a huge believer in show don’t tell, but in this case those stories were directly inspired by interviews that I conducted with other supervisors and counselors who worked in places like this and who have worked in places like this much longer than I did. On a number of occasions, in those interviews I was just blown away by how incredible they were at telling stories. They were magicians and storytellers. The stories that they were telling, one of them that I recorded was almost verbatim me just typing it straight into the script and that was the opening story of the movie. I did manipulate some things and added some crude jokes, of course, but for the most part it was the voice of a guy who had worked at a place like this for 16 years telling a similar story. Anybody who works in a very intense environment uses storytelling as an outlet and a way to cope and also as a way to make sense of things. Sometimes there’s a little bit of fiction woven into it like the last story that he tells. He was implying certain things and there’s a little bit of his own hope for Marcus woven into his story. If I had shown that story, then it becomes the reality of the director as opposed to the viewer deciding how they want to interpret what this story is coming from this character and how much of it they want to believe, how much of it they want to say that’s a Mason embellishment. That was part of the fun.
The power of story-TELLING. I will be reprising my 2013 interview with Destin each day this week to go along with this series. Lots of other cool stuff in Short Term 12. What did you notice?
mkm28 at 2015-03-30 17:25:24:
Although I still haven't seen the film, I have been looking at this screenplay a lot in the last month or so, as an inspiration for writing a "simple" screenplay. That's what strikes me most about Short Term 12: It is so ridiculously simple. Which is a revelation after perhaps (probably) overcomplicating my own first two scripts. The beauty is that everything seems to tie up. Nothing feels random. As you mentioned, Scott, the beginning and the end mirror each other. But Mason's story, besides just being funny and an introduction to the facility, also explains without explaining why Grace follows Jayden home. In Marcus' first appearance, he's feeding his fish -- which could have been random, just one of the kids doing his thing -- but ends up being the reason why Marcus and Luis get into it later. The kids make birthday cards for Jayden, which also could have been just a random scene, and that's what she hangs up at the end, a symbol of her healing. It comes together really well, and for the most part, it all feels really natural.
mkm28 at 2015-03-30 17:47:01:
I know there are no real screenwriting rules, but...what do you make of the fact that this screenplay is 80 pages? On the one hand, I see that two other well-acclaimed scripts/films of the last few years are short: Gravity (70 pages) and All is Lost (32 pages). But Cretton was basically an aspiring screenwriter when he won the Nicholl with this script, right? Is it a risk to have your script be "short" when you're just starting out? I feel like the answer is that story trumps all, and that's probably the best rule to live by. But for the beginner trying to break into the business, how much does script length actually matter?
uncgym44 at 2015-03-30 19:49:38:
mkm28 I love what you said about this screenplay being a "simple" story, but at the same time mentioned that all of the loose ends tie up, all of the plot points of act 1 come into play in act 3. I would definitely say it's a straightforward story that was written in a wonderfully complex and skillful way. Simple story - complex characters. That's the name of the game, right? I really enjoyed reading this screenplay for the first time last week. I've already picked it up again for another read.
Scott at 2015-03-30 23:27:54:
Well said, mkm28. It is a "ridiculously simple" story, but so well constructed -- with more examples as you noted -- and critically with compelling, distinctive characters. This is what is known as a "character piece" and if those characters don't lift up off the page and into readers' imaginations, particularly talent like Brie Larson, this movie doesn't get made.
Scott at 2015-03-30 23:34:24:
mkm28, the draft we have was provided by the producers to me by special agreement, made available on GITS before anyone else. It is the shooting script. The Nicholl winning script is actually 95 pages long, which diminishes the concern you mention. But you are right: Most Hollywood script readers raise a yellow flag at a script that comes in at less than 100 pages. Not a rule, just a sense that anything under 100 may be undercooked. This varies from genre to genre. A horror or action script can clock out at 95, maybe even 90. However if the script is great, it can come in at 52 pages which is what Daniel Kunka did with "Yellowstone Falls" which sold as a spec last year. Bottom line: Write a great script. If you come in at less than 100 pages, certainly less than 95-90, the quality of the script becomes even more paramount. NOTE: In the indie and low-budget world, page count is less an issue. There scripts may be 75-80 pages long.
Scott at 2015-03-30 23:35:23:
uncgym44: "simple story - complex characters." Works for me! Sounds like a writing mantra waiting to happen!
mkm28 at 2015-04-01 15:37:30:
After you replied, I remembered that the Nicholl website has some of the past winners up and found the 95-page version (http://www.oscars.org/sites/default/files/scripts/cretton_short-term-12.pdf). It's worth a look for all those reading this week to see how Cretton really condensed the story.