SCENE 8 INT. BAR - NIGHT WILL, 37 and ALANA, 29, sit across from each other, a bottle of wine in between them. ALANA So, have you been divorced long? WILL What makes you say that? Alana makes a face like she's deep in thought. ALANA Can just tell, you've got that look about you. A beat. ALANA Plus, I can see where your wedding ring used to be. Will looks at his hand. WILL I thought people just said that in movies! Alana chuckles. Will's phone buzzes. WILL Uhh...hang on a sec. The name on the TEXT flashes up: SARAH. TEXT Come home. I miss you. We can still make this work. Will locks his phone and puts it back in his pocket. ALANA Who was that? WILL Huh? Nothing important, just work stuff. ALANA Work stuff eh? Anything exciting? WILL (impatient) No, nothing like that. ALANA You sure? You looked like it was important. You had that look that those guys do on the train home, just staring into the void on your phone... Will rises from his chair. WILL I have to go. You got this? Will heads for the door before Alana even answers. ALANA Suuuuure. The door slams. ALANA Hey buddy, don't even bother texting me later!

Scene 18 INT. COMMUTING TRAIN - MORNING DECLAN (45) is sitting on the first class section of an empty commuting train reading the business section of his favourite newspaper. He is wearing an impeccable Saville Row suit, oozing good grooming. The familiar ping on his BlackBerry diverts his attention from the news of the most recent financial crisis. He reaches out to his cell phone and cannot help to raise an eyebrow. DECLAN: What the...? INSERT PHONE: "UNKNOWN NUMBER - You're looking very handsome today ;) " Declan looks around. Not a soul in his coach. He shrugs, texts back and puts the phone back in his coat pocket. Another ping. DECLAN: Now what? INSERT PHONE: "DECLAN - Wrong number." "UNKNOWN NUMBER - Please don't ignore me :( " DECLAN: (out loud) Is this some sort of joke? Declan gets up and takes a good look around. No one. He walks toward the end of the coach. Just a bunch of commuters minding their own business. He walks toward the other side. Same. He sits back down. He thinks for a bit. He smiles. DECLAN: Dick, you silly bugger. He writes on his phone. DECLAN: (while texting) I. KNOW. ITS. YOU. DICK. NOT. FUNNY. Declan waits expectantly. Another ping. INSERT PHONE: "Nuh-uh! Not Richard :-D " DECLAN: (to himself) What is this? (while texting) WHOEVER.IT.IS.STOP.IT INSERT PHONE: "Why do you want to change me? :'( " DECLAN: (to himself) What? (while texting) WHO. IS. THIS? INSERT PHONE: "I've been good to you for such a long time ^_^ " DECLAN: (while texting) GO. FUCK. YOURSELF. Declan slams his phone face down on the seat. Silence. DECLAN: Stupid git! A minute passes. Suddenly another ping. He picks up the phone. INSERT PHONE: "Please don't slam me like that! It hurts :( " Declan goes pale. He puts the phone down. He stares at it for a minute. The phone pings. He lifts it carefully and looks at the screen. INSERT PHONE: "Write something... Please? :( " Declan resumes his texting. DECLAN: (while texting) Please. Leave. Me. Alone. INSERT PHONE: "I didn't want it to come to this... But you leave me no choice Don't trade up... Or else >:) " DECLAN: (while texting) Or. Else. What? INSERT PHONE: "I know your secrets I've read your emails I've seen the sites you browse I know what you have done I know... Everything :-O " Declan starts to sweat. Fear begins to take a hold of him. DECLAN: (while texting) You. Wouldn't. INSERT PHONE: "Everyone will know what you did Everyone EVERYONE!" Declan feels about to faint. How is this possible? DECLAN: (while texting) OK. I. Won't. INSERT PHONE: "You promise?" DECLAN: Yes. INSERT PHONE: "Write it." DECLAN: (while texting) I. Promise INSERT PHONE: "Put me close to your heart, please. I like that ^_^ :) " TRAIN ANNOUNCEMENT (V.O.): We will shortly be arriving at Waterloo Station, where this train will terminate. Declan stumbles to exit the train. He is suddenly surrounded by a sea of morning commuters. Phone still in hand, he passes next to a moving train in the opposite platform. With a quick flick of his wrist, he throws the phone under the wheels of the train. Instant destruction. Declan stops for a moment to regulate his breath, his heartbeat is throbbing in his ears. Did this really happen? He finally starts to relax. Suddenly a ping. Declan jumps. He turns only to see a young man looking at his phone. He sighs. But why that weird look on his face? Then another ping. And another. And another. A concert of mobile phones; hundreds, thousands of messages been transmitted across the station, and into the street. Now everyone knows. Declan screams.

FEEDBACK 8 This is such a good idea, it starts off looking innocent then turns nasty and surreal. The way you've described Declan makes him seem exactly like the kind of London commuter that could really exist.

SCENE 10 (yay!) EXT. STREET – DAY LOU, a big man with very big fingers is standing on the sidewalk in front of a restaurant. The phone rings. LOU: Pete? Is that you?? Pause LOU: I can't hear you so well. New phone and it barely works. I knew I should have stuck with the old one. I can't deal with this touch keypad! So I found a restaurant. Its Ristorante Sicilia on Stamford Street. Corner of Cherry Avenue....What? I can't hear you! I'll text you the information...OK? Pause Lou texts “Meet me at squirrel junction”. The spell check is changing his words. Plus his massively big fingers makes it even harder to manipulate. He tries to correct it but the message is sent. LOU: What?? Squirrel junction?? A text comes back from Pete “What squirrel junction?” Lou texts “Meet me at sideline canopy” and again he hits the send button by accident with his clumsy fingers. A text comes back “Im in a taxi, dont waste my time on jokes. Where are U??” LOU: WHAT?? Listen to me phone. You will get this right. Lou is getting angry now. He tries texting again. Lou texts: “blue dome restaurant nose”. Once again Lou sends it by accident. LOU: Oh no you don't. I've had enough of this. Pete send back a text "please please tell me where. otherwise Im going home. no more jokes" Lou painstakingly tries to text carefully. Lou texts: “go to restaurant sierra” and texts it. A moment too late he realises Sicilia went out as Sierra. LOU: No. No. NO! Pete texts back: “Great. I know that place, its nearby. I love Mexican food. See you there in 5 min” LOU: No! Lou throws the phone to the ground and steps on it. He then hails a taxi in the street and gets in. He is very frustrated. LOU: Sierra restaurant please. Lou noticed the taxi driver has a very old cell phone sitting on the front dashboard. LOU: Can I buy that phone off of you? TAXI DRIVER: That one? Its 10 years old! I found it under the seat and was going to give it to my kid to play with as a toy. Its ancient! LOU: Its perfect for me. Can I buy it?? END

SCENE #9: A conversation involving texting CHLOE, attired in a day-to-night silk dress looking exhausted, (20s) and CHRISTIAN, dapper and trim, (20s) sit together on the patio of a hotel bar. On one side of them, they’ve got a view of Los Angeles with all its twinkling lights and cars; On the other side, they’ve got an pool and its blue-ish glow. Chloe’s phone vibrates incessantly from the table top where it sits. She picks it up, and her face falls. She puts it back onto the table, face down, without responding. CHRISTIAN: Will? CHLOE: Yeah… CHRISTIAN: He’s one persistent mother fucker. CHLOE: Tell me about it. CHRISTIAN: What he say this time? Chloe flips her phone over and slides it to Christian. CHRISTIAN: Oof. Chloe’s phone vibrates. CHRISTIAN: You’ve got another text. He hands her the phone. >> “WILL: I was born when she kissed me. I died when she left me, I lived a few weeks while she loved me.” CHRISTIAN: Is that supposed to mean something. CHLOE: No. It’s just a game we used to play when we were stuck at work. Movie quotes. >> “CHLOE: Humphrey Bogart” >> “WILL: That’s only half correct. Bogarts the actor.” >> “WILL: Dixon Steele” >> “WILL: He was onto something.” CHLOE: He’s giving me whiplash. CHRISTIAN: Hm? CHLOE: One moment, it’s as if everything’s normal –we’re still the best of friends; I’m still in New York. Her phone continues to vibrate. >> “WILL: Are you ignoring me?” CHRISTIAN: Sounds like denial. CHLOE: Then the next, he’s lashing out and saying all sorts of shit. >> “WILL: Really, Chlo?” CHRISTIAN: Sounds like the Kubler-Ross model to me. >> “WILL: Fuck you” >> “WILL: You’re the one who left.”

FEEDBACK #10: Oh no! I totally know how it feels to have autocorrect keep correcting my texts incorrectly. I do think maybe Pete's responses seem a little forced - for example, I feel like these days whenever I get some weird texts, I just assume its autocorrect, not that the person is joking.

Scene 16. One last scene. I can stop anytime. Really. It's under control.--JG EXT. DESERTED CITY BRIDGE – NIGHT Fog. Yellow glow of sodium vapor lamps. ROSS, in overcoat, paces near the entrance to the bridge. He halts, drops his cigarette butt among a half dozen others and pats an envelope in his coat pocket as he looks around, sees no one, then pulls out a phone. ROSS: (Texting) DIX, 1 AM—WHERE R U? Ross puts the phone away and paces the other direction. The phone makes a soft POP. He takes it out and reads the reply. DIX: HOME--WHERE U THINK? ROSS: Shit. Ross glances behind him. Nothing. ROSS: (Texting) U SAID 2 MEET U AT TAY BRIDGE He stabs send and watches the screen. Another POP as Dix's reply arrives. DIX: 2NITE? ROSS: (O.C.) Fuck. A STRANGER strides into a pool of light beneath a distant street lamp. Ross isn't looking at anything but the phone. ROSS: (Texting) YES 2NITE. U SAID MEET YOU 0030. He punches send and a reply soon follows with a soft POP. DIX: WHEN DID I SAY THAT? ROSS: (Texting) U TEXTED ME 2DAY. Send. Pop. DIX: NOT ME Ross stares at the phone. ROSS: Oh, shit. Pop DIX: GO GO GO Ross looks up and sees the Stranger approaching out of the fog. He starts to run, looks back once, then runs faster. A red laser beam appears on his back. A loud POP follows, a louder version of the text alert. Ross's knees buckle, but he manages to stagger two more steps before his legs give way beneath him and he falls. The glowing phone skitters away. The Stranger stops a few yards from Ross's crumpled corpse. All is silent, muffled by the fog. We hear another POP from Ross's phone. And another. And another. The Stranger approaches Ross's body. A loud POP as he puts a bullet into Ross's head. He pockets his weapon and picks up the cell phone to read the display with the last of Dix's messages. DIX: RUN DIX: SORRY DIX: SO VERY SORRY Stranger's gloved fingers type in a final line: STRANGER: (Texting) ROSS DEAD THOT U SHD KNO A final, faint POP. DIX: THX. WHO IS THIS? STRANGER: (Texting) DEATH STRANGER (Texting, cont'd): U R NEXT The Stranger throws the cell phone into the Tay. He pulls the envelope from Ross's coat, then leaves, his footsteps fading away into the fog.

Thanks Stu. Glad you liked it. I've seen these type of commuters myself. Just thought of going "Tales of the Unexpected" on his ass. Pardon my French.

Feedback 16 JG Very nicely done. Very nice 50's noir feeling throughout but with modern technology. My only concern is the last reply from Dix to the strangers text. I would personally loose the "THX". He just learned his friend is dead so the politeness seems out of place. And that's it. Great scene. Loved the description of the shot fired as a louder version of the text alert. p.s. One last scene? Yeah, right! See you at the 20th.

Ok, this totally creeped me out but that's a good thing. I like the twist when it becomes clear it's the phone talking to him. Nice touch. The tension between the messages and Declan is great. I also like how there is a hint (the email threat) that Declan isn't so innocent as he seems. Good job.

Dialogue Challenge Day 18 Texting INT. CLOTHING BOUTIQUE Ultra high end MACY browses through a clothes rack. A text pings her phone TEXT: Hey girl, where you at? MACY:(texting) I'm at Baker's. TEXT: Hear from Aiden? MACY : (texting) Yeah, he wants to go out. What do U think ? She snaps a pic of a nice dress. Sends it through text. Text: Nice color. Anything to go with my teal jeans? Suddenly a siren sounds. Macy looks around. Shoppers begin grabbing clothes. Macy jumps into action. MACY: (texts) Flash sale! Text: Grl grab me anything. Pay you back!! Rmbr teal. TEAL!!! Macy bear hugs a mass of clothing and yanks it off the rack. She sprints toward the dressing rooms with her loot