SCENE 3 Shot of an empty room in a LABORATORY. VOICE OVER of two voices, they are not seen. VOICE 1: (anguished) We've always been together. I don't want to be apart. VOICE 2: (comforting) I know. We've always been together for as long as I can remember. Do you remember the first time we knew we were meant to be one? VOICE 1: It was in this very room. That young research assistant was looking at us the whole time. VOICE 2: Yeah. I do remember that. He was creepy. He would sit there, drink coffee and just stare. Weirdo. VOICE 1: I haven't seen him for a while. VOICE 2: I heard he moved to another department. Maybe he was better, because the new assistant stinks. I mean he literally stinks. When do you think he took his last shower? VOICE 1: Ugh. And how about his breath. Last time he got close, I wanted to get right out of the room. VOICE 2: I would have gone with you. VOICE 1: (laughing) I know you would have. What choice would you have. VOICE 2: I think the new research head is going to come in soon. VOICE 1: Yeah, thinks he's a hot shot. VOICE 2: I wouldn't worry about him. VOICE 1: Why's he here? VOICE 2: I think you know. VOICE 1: Does he know about us? VOICE 2: Of course. It's his job. Always putting his nose in everyone's business. VOICE 1: Do you think if we ask, he'll allow us to stay together. VOICE 2: I'm sorry. It's meant to be that we separate. It needs to happen now. I'm sorry. VOICE 1: So am I. Will I be able to see you again? VOICE 2: You'll meet someone new. But you know of course. VOICE 1: Know what? VOICE 2: You'll have to separate again. And again. It's all part of life you know. VOICE 1: I know. I'd rather we separate now then go on seeing you like this. Let's just make it quick. VOICE 2: Yes, I agree. Goodbye. VOICE 1: Farewell. CLOSE UP SHOT ZOOMS IN on a small petri-dish under a microscope. Through the microscope we see one large cell split into two cells. END

Writing Challenge SCENE #9 INT. - HOUSE – DAY KERRI (28), and TOM (30) are in the shower together. It’s a little tight but it’s evident they have some experience at it. TOM: Could you hand me my shampoo? Kerri picks up the bottle and shoves it at him. KERRI: There you go! TOM: Ouch! I don’t know why you’re mad at me! KERRI: Then you’re even dumber than I thought. If that’s even possible. TOM: It wasn’t just me, sweetheart. KERRI: Can you just stop talking? TOM: So this is how we are ending things. Taking a shower together and not talking. KERRI: (sarcastically) Gee, Tom, could we? TOM: We could just do a mulligan. KERRI: You are unbelievable! You cheat on me and then act like it’s no big deal. Typical. TOM: Then why did you just do…well….you know…what we did? KERRI: Temporary insanity. TOM: Because you’re still crazy about me. KERRI: No, Tom, I’m still leaving you and we will never see each other again after today. What happened earlier was…I don’t know what that was. TOM: Some people might call it…Awesome! KERRI: Wow…can you make this anymore icky? (beat) Pass me the wash rag please…I have shampoo in my eyes. TOM: What do I get? KERRI: How about…not kicked in the crotch. Tom hands her the rag. TOM: I did say I was sorry. KERRI: And I’m sure you think you are but one day…who knows when…but one day…it would happen again. TOM: You’re probably right. I just can’t help myself. I’m irresistible. KERRI: Okay, if I throw up in here, don’t say I didn’t warn you. TOM: You couldn’t. KERRI: I couldn’t what? TOM: Resist me. KERRI: That’s it! I’m done! Kerri gets out of the shower and starts to dry off. Tom is still in the shower. TOM: How about one more for the road, babe? Kerri walks to the toilet and flushes it. Tom screams. TOM (CONT.): That wasn’t necessary! Could you hand me a towel? Kerri? Kerri? Tom sticks his head out of the shower. His towel is gone, Kerri is gone and there are thumb tacks all over the bathroom floor. Tom smiles. TOM (CONT.): I’m gonna miss that one.

Feedback #9 I thought it was very good that this scene was 99% dialogue. A little action at the beginning and then at the end. Otherwise it was all conversation. Good job.

Scene 9 INT. CALIFORNIA BUNGALOW – DAY Living room furnished in Early Ikea, dumpster-quality tatami mats, posters of dead rock stars, layer upon layer of clutter. CRYSTAL, a faded 60, opens the door wearing five visible layers of unfashionable clothing. BRENT, 61, enters, in suit and vest, carrying a bunch of carnations. CRYSTAL: You came! My knight in shining armor. She embraces him until he gently twists his arms free to press the flowers towards her. She takes them and smells them coyly. BRENT: Of course I came. I always come. How are you doing, Crystal? CRYSTAL: Oh, terrible, Brent. The depression was coming in waves. I could feel myself being pushed towards the edge of darkness. Did I tell you about my meds? BRENT: Yes. You stopped taking your Lithium and then ran out of St. John's Wort. CRYSTAL: Yes. Oh, it was awful. The worst ever. But now you're here. Shall we sit? He looks for a seat. She prises her obese cat from a chair for him and perches nearby. BRENT: Did you take your Lithium? CRYSTAL: Yes. I did. I hate it, but I took it when you said you'd come over. BRENT: Did you make an appointment to see Dr. Boontung again? CRYSTAL: Yes. Tuesday. We first met on a Tuesday, remember? BRENT: Yes. CRYSTAL: We were in third grade, in line to get on the swings. BRENT: Second, actually. And it was the teeter-totter. (smiles) CRYSTAL: Oh, yes. I'd fallen and scraped my knee. You patted me on the arm. I've never forgotten that moment. You've been my knight in shining armor ever since. BRENT: Did you pay your rent? CRYSTAL: Mr. Warmus didn't repair the cat door, so I'm on strike until he does. BRENT: And what happened last time you did that? CRYSTAL: (laughs) He started to evict me. BRENT: I'd prefer we not go through all that again. CRYSTAL: Let's talk about something else. [beat] How are things at the store? BRENT: Crystal, we've had that conversation more than once. CRYSTAL: About the hardware store? You didn't lose your job, did you? BRENT: I haven't been in that store in fifteen years. I'm working for the company that bought the company that bought the store. CRYSTAL: Oh. I'm sorry. I've made you angry. BRENT: I'm not angry. CRYSTAL: Yes, you are. BRENT: I'm sad, Crystal, not angry. CRYSTAL: Sad? What about? BRENT: This. (spreads hands) Crystal, your troubles are your own fault. Who stops taking her medicine? Who doesn't pay her rent? Who fights with her neighbors? Who shoplifts at the market? Who doesn't go to the doctor? CRYSTAL: But that's old history. Today was different. BRENT: I can do today. What I can't do is tomorrow. CRYSTAL: I don't understand. BRENT: I'll always love that little second grader. But she's not you, anymore, and I'm not him. You don't know me. You don't know--you don't care--what company I work for, how many children I have, what my wife's name is-- CRYSTAL: Betsy...no, Flora. Zoe. Roberta-- BRENT: It's time to say goodbye, Crystal. CRYSTAL: Goodbye? You don't mean for always? BRENT: I'm sorry; yes, for always. CRYSTAL: But I can't get by without you. I need you. How will I survive? BRENT: Make friends at church. Grow up a little. Lean on someone else. Just don't be my problem anymore. CRYSTAL: How can you do this to me? BRENT: I'm doing it for you, not to you. Mostly for me, yes, but partly for you. CRYSTAL: But you're my knight in shining armor... BRENT: Goodbye, Crystal. He leaves, closing the door behind him. She stares at the door, sniffs the flowers still clutched in her hand, then begins to cry like a lost child.

Scene 9 INT. KITCHEN - MORNING Aaron (32) and Clara (31) are sitting quietly in a very neat and organised breakfast table. Clara, dressed impeccably and with her black hair tightly tied in a bun over her head, is reading the Financial Times while drinking her coffee. Aaron, dressed more casually, plays on his scrambled eggs with his fork while slouched over the plate. AARON (V.O.): This is it. Now is the time. Just as you rehearsed. You know exactly what to say. Be calm. Be firm. Tell her it's over. But don't forget to compliment her, reassure her. So she doesn't feel bad. Aaron takes a bite of his piece of toast. Burned. Clara reacts to the sound. She doesn't even raise her eyes from her paper. CLARA: How is your toast darling? AARON: It's ok dear. A bit on the brown side. CLARA: Hmm. AARON (V.O.): Burned. As always. Every morning the same story. Burnt toast. Tasteless. Just as these eggs. And all of her cooking for that matter. And her love making. Look at her. What were you thinking, man? She could not be more tightly wound up if she tried. She's like a block of ice. But now is the end. You will soon be out of here, free. All you have to do is... CLARA: Help yourself to some juice darling. AARON: Sorry? Oh, thanks sweety. AARON (V.O.): Thanks sweety? Are you mad? That's grapefruit juice. You hate grapefruit juice. NOBODY likes grapefruit juice! Aaron pours himself a cup of grapefruit juice. AARON (V.O.): What are you doing? Don't you DARE drink that! It's disgusting. It's like she purposely picks the most sour fruit in the bowl and... Aaron downs the whole glass. AARON (V.O.): DAMMIT! You gotta stop that! Be a man for once in your life. You gotta have courage. Tell her you hate living here. Tell her you want out, forever. There's a plane ticket burning a hole in your pocket. Use it! But for that to happen you MUST. SPEAK. NOW! AARON: Honey...? CLARA: Yes? AARON: Erh... could you please pass the sugar? Clara takes the sugar bowl and extends it in her hand. Her eyes don't even leave the paper. Aaron needs to get up to take the sugar. AARON (V.O.): FUUUUUUUUUCK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP THAT! You stupid COWARD. If you want out, you need to... Clara looks at Aaron briefly. CLARA: Are you ok? You look... odd. Something on your mind? AARON: No. I'm fine. I just had a rough night, that's all. AARON (V.O.): A rough night? A ROUGH NIGHT? GOD DAMMIT! SHE GAVE YOU AN OPENING! WHY DIDNT YOU TAKE IT? You rehearsed this over and over. You know the words by heart. OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND START TALKING! AARON: Honey... CLARA: (calmly and impassionately) Aaron, I need to tell you something. This thing of ours... is just not working. I need a companion who is as passionate of life as I am. We've been drifting apart for quite some time now so I don't see the point to keep going. So it's over. You are a great person and I am sure you will find someone more appropriate to... well, you. Clara folds her newspaper and rises from the table. CLARA: (CONT) I am going to work now and I would appreciate it if you are out of the appartment before my return. Good bye, Aaron. Aaron remains motionless as Clara walks out the door. He suddenly jumps up. AARON: PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!

SCENE 9 INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT (A little boy's room with a dull nightlight) (JIMMY (10) sleeps with a TEDDY in hand. Jimmy suddenly awakes) TEDDY: It was just another bad dream. No shadows. Go back to sleep. JIMMY: In my dream the light was off but none of the shadows came out. TEDDY: Well, the shadows don't always come out when the light is off. They pick the best moment to jump out and grab you. JIMMY: Yeah but-- TEDDY: Have you ever been grabbed by a shadow? JIMMY: No. TEDDY: Why do you think that is? (beat) TEDDY: Because I protect you! As long as you have me, no shadow will ever grab you. JIMMY: In my dream you weren't protecting me. TEDDY: What? JIMMY: When the light was off I yelled for you but you didn't say or do anything. You were nowhere to be seen. TEDDY: That would never happen. It was just a bad dream. Just go back to bed. (Jimmy walks over to the light) TEDDY: Jimmy, what are you doing?! JIMMY: I'm going to see what the room looks like without the light. TEDDY: --No! You'll ruin everything!-- JIMMY: Ruin everything? (beat) JIMMY: Teddy? TEDDY: If you turn off the light you won't need me anymore. You know how you didn't see any shadows in your dream? Well, if you turn off the light, you turn off the shadows... JIMMY: ...I know Teddy. That's why I've been having nightmares about it. TEDDY: You knew? JIMMY: Teddy, none of my friends have nightlights anymore...and they don't have stuffed animals either. I don't want to say goodbye either, but... TEDDY: ...you're right Jimmy. It's time. (Jimmy puts Teddy in a chest) JIMMY: Goodnight Teddy. TEDDY: Goodnight Jimmy. Pleasant dreams. (Jimmy closes the chest. Turns off nightlight. And sleeps peacefully)

EXT. BACKYARD - SUNSET ALVIN (5) plays with his GI JOE dolls. DAVE (27) watches with pride for a moment, then kneels in the grass beside Alvin. DAVE: Hey. ALVIN: Hey . DAVE: Can I? Alvin hands him the Sergeant. ALVIN: You be Sarge. DAVE: Okay. You haven't brought these guys out for awhile. ALVIN: The bad guys took the plans. Now they're trying to blow up our camp. If they get us divided, they'll win the war. DAVE: You know, Al, I -- ALVIN: Quick, Sarge! They're coming in from all sides. DAVE: Ha... Okay... Uh, I'm coming in fully loaded! I'll save you guys. ALVIN: Over there! DFF! DFF-DFF! Blast them. DAVE: I'm right behind you! Rocket launch. BOOSH! Got'em. ALVIN: Nice shot, Sarge! Watch out, behind the rocks! Ahh, I'm hit. DAVE: NO! I got you, buddy. DFF-DFF-DFF-DFF-DFF! DFF-DFF-DFF! Is it bad? ALVIN: Barely hit. I'll be... you missed one! BOOSH! BRRRGGGHHH! DAVE: Ah, I'm hit bad. ALVIN: Sarge! Sarge! Alvin brings over the other dolls to try to save Sarge. Dave stands above, takes it in for a moment. ALVIN (CONT.): Hang in there, Sarge. We'll save you. DAVE: I have to go. ALVIN: No, don't go Sarge. Don't go! Dave rubs Alvin's crew cut. Then walks away. ALVIN (OS): Sarge! Sarge! Say something. DAD! Alvin grabs Dave's leg from behind and squeezes hard, Sarge still in hand. Dave gets down to Alvin's level and hugs him tight. DAVE: Love you, Buddy. Alvin hands his dad Sarge. ALVIN: Love you, Sarge.

Scene 9 Her: So this is it? This is goodbye... forever? Him: It has to be, you know that. Her: It just doesn't seem right. We're twins. We should be together. Him: You know that's not possible. Remember what they said when they took us into the academy. All relationships would be severed. What did Grad say? Even invisible umbilical cords will be cut. You know he was talking about us, don't you? Her: Yes, but - - Him: There are no buts. If we stay together they'll know. Track us. Persecute us. What if they're listening now? They could be here any second. You need to get on the train. Her: It just doesn't seem right. Us... saying goodbye. Him: Think of it this way. We're only saying goodbye for their forever - - Her: Forever is forever. Him: But don't you see? It's not, is it? Her: What is it then? Him: It's their forever. Its not ours, is it? Look at me? Is it? Her: No, Him: So stop crying. Hold your head up and get on the train before the spotters turn up. Her: But... Him: Do it. We don't have a choice. Her: How will we know? Him: Know what? Her: When their forever is over? It could be thirty, forty, fifty years even... Him: You'll know. I'll find you. You have my soul in the phial around her neck and I have yours. I'll come looking for it when the time is right. Until then you have got to try and understand we're going to have to function as independent units. We're on our own. Her: What if something happens to you? Him: Nothing... nothing, do you hear me, is going to happen to me. You have to believe that. Now go. Get on the train. Go on, get on the train. I can sense them. We've been on this spot for too long. Go, go, they're closing in. Her: You're right, I can feel them too. Let go of me. They're scanning. They'll... oh god... that hurts. Him: They're almost here. Go, for godsake. Get on the train, now. Her: I'm gone. I'll... I'll see you... I'll see you on the other side of forever. Him: Not if I see you first. Go.

Feedback 9 Loved this scene it was sweet. Did wonder if it would have had more strength without Teddy actually having dialogue and letting Jimmy do his own convincing, because, as the scene shows, he doesn't need Ted anymore. Making it somehow, a bit more like a Hanks/Wilson conversation, if you get my drift, would have really set it apart. Still touching though.

SCENE 4 EXT. SECLUDED BAY – NIGHT A small one-mast boat, beached. Two men, AL and BEN, carrying bags over their shoulders, tramp on a trail which comes from beyond the bordering cliffs. They dump the bags onto the boat, Ben jumps aboard, the boat lolls. AL: That’s the last of it. Just in time, the tide is turning. BEN: I couldn’t have escaped without you. AL: Although everything points to you I know you didn’t do it. BEN: You’re the only one who believes me. AL: I’m sure you were framed. A convenient scapegoat to take the blame. BEN: You’re the best friend ever. Thanks. AL: No need for thanks. Helping an innocent man, that’s justice. You need to get on your way, the tide waits for no-one. BEN: To think I’ll have to live my life as a refugee, leave everything and everyone behind… AL: You’re not thinking of giving up? BEN: Running away will make me look guilty. AL: We’ve been over it, they won’t look at anyone else. If you stay you’ll be hanged. Case closed. If you go now, you can live to fight another day. BEN: Maybe if they find the real culprit… AL: Yes. I’ll keep working on it. BEN: So, it’s goodbye. Until someday. AL: Yes, goodbye. They clasp each others hands, stand still for a moment. AL (cont.): Hurry up, time is flowing with the tide. Ben settles in the boat. Al pushes it away from the shore. A small engine starts. Ben maneuvers the boat, aims it to the wide open sea, throttles the engine. Al turns to go, checks his wristwatch, turns back again, stares at the receding boat, engine sound fading away. The boat gets smaller and smaller until it merges with the darkness. Al keeps one eye on the watch, the other on the horizon. FLASH in the distance. The faint and faraway sound of an explosion. AL (whispers): Case closed. Goodbye.

Feedback #10 I liked this scene. Thought the dad and son playing GI Joes together was a good way to have them connect for the last time. It wasn't melodramatic or over the top yet touching. The only thing I don't understand is why the father and son will never see each other again. Other than that, nice scene.

Clara's long speech at the end fits her personality to a T. Perfectly controlling. What if Aaron were to put on an act while being quite pleased at the manner in which things have worked his way?

Feedback 5 Sweet scene. Just a bit more emotion and drama, don't you think? What if Teddy were distraught/ clinging?

feedback 6 The dialogue flowed beautifully and oh-so-naturally...just perfect. Dave is going away to war?

Feedback 7 I swear I didn't see that end coming. Not even a hint. Chilling end, that. What if Ben begins to hold back, is in two minds about escaping?

Feedback 4 This was good in terms of the dialogue itself but I was trying to understand Brent's motivation, whether he was genuinely there to give her "tough love" or if he was just being downright mean. It wasn't clear if he came with the intent to stop being in contact or if it was a spur of the moment thing. Also a few pauses would have reflected the tension better.

Austere That's an option, of course. I was trying to transcript something that actually happened to a friend of mine (taking some dramatic liberties, of course). He was ready to dump a girl but in the last minute she dumped him first. And then we was begging for her not to leave him. Talk about a change of plans! Thanks for the feedback.

Jonathan No feedback. Just a comment. Damn scene almost made me cry... in a packed train. Great job.

Feedback 11 Roy This is a very good scene. The dialog moves along the scene nicely and the twist at the end... that is some best friend! How Al convinced Ben to get on the boat was very cleverly done. Good job.

Feedback 11 Roy This is a very good scene. The dialog moves along the scene nicely and the twist at the end… that is some best friend! How Al convinced Ben to get on the boat was very cleverly done. Good job.

Thanks. Hopefully, after the end, people will remember the hints and look at the scene with other eyes.

Fun scene, Ricardo. Love the build up in his self-loathing and still can't get himself to separate.

Wow, thanks Ricardo! That's a huge compliment.

SCENE 5 -- (this turned into more of a sketch than a scene but it was fun!) EXT. City Street - Morning Paul and Karen stand on the street corner outside a hotel. They are both dressed in clothes from the night before. Slightly disheveled and overdressed for the morning. Paul -- Well, nice meeting you. Karen -- Yeah, you too. They both lean in for a hug but both go to the same side so they almost kiss before pulling back. Then they laugh and try again, this time they both go to the opposite side and again, nearly kiss. They laugh and shake hands. Paul -- Bye then. Karen -- Bye. They both start walking and quickly realize they're walking in the same direction. Karen -- Oh, you're going this way? Paul -- Yeah. Neither says anything and they reach the corner and wait as the crosswalk changes. When the walk sign illuminates they look at each other. Karen -- This is it I guess. Paul -- Yep, I had fun. Karen -- Me too. They try another hug and again fail, their faces lining up. Then they walk off. And again are going in the same direction. They laugh. Paul -- I'm not a creeper, I swear. Karen -- Me either. Paul -- Well, I'm gonna head off. Again they start to hug and just shake hands instead. Paul jaywalks across the street and walks to the corner. He stops and waits for the light to change. Meanwhile, Karen is going in the same direction and crosses the street at the crosswalk only to arrive at the same corner where Paul is waiting. They nod at each other, but don't say anything. The light changes and both in an effort to get away from the other start running. Realizing the other is doing the same, they both stop. Then seeing the other, they start running. Stop. Start. They get to the other side and watch the other to see where they're heading. A TAXI approaches. Karen and Paul: TAXI!

SCENE 8: EXT. TOP OF A HIGH RISE BUILDING – DAY BISHOP, 60, aims a sniper rifle at another building. He’s dressed in a sharp Armani suit. Behind him, TELLER, 49, approaches. He also wears Armani. BISHOP (eyes never leave the rifle scope): Afternoon, Teller. TELLER: Greetings, Bishop. Been a while. Bishop finally turns and looks at Teller. BISHOP: You got grey and fat. TELLER: And you’re still an asshole. BISHOP: I prefer the term, “Curmudgeonly Truth-teller.” Read in the papers that scientists discovered cranky people live longer than back-stabbing liars. Bishop gives Teller a sly smile and returns his attention to his rifle scope. Teller’s expression sours. He points a gun at Bishop’s back. TELLER: Who says you’re going to live long? You’re a cocksucker who still reads newspapers. BISHOP: Do you mind? I’m in the middle of something. Teller fires a warning shot near Bishop. TELLER: Step away from the rifle and face me. BISHOP: We’re saying our farewells, now? So soon? Bishop does not budge. TELLER: Have it your way. I’ll say “good-bye” to the back of your head. Makes no difference to m-- A gun FIRES. Bishop and Teller stare at each other. Bishop reveals the hidden gun he fired through his Armani jacket at Teller -- now ruined by a bullet hole. Teller looks at his own chest – shot through the heart. He falls to the ground. Bishop returns to his rifle, aims and fires at a building window. Bull’s-eye. He quickly gathers his things and walks by the dead Teller. BISHOP: Good-bye.

SCENE 1 INT. AIRPORT--DAY JERRY (28), clutches his carry-on bag as he looks anxiously at his girlfriend, SHEILA (27). JERRY: Well...this is it. Sheila smiles brightly, nudges him subtly toward security. SHEILA: I guess it is. I'm going to miss you, you know. Jerry bites his lip, makes no effort to move as he sets down his bag. JERRY: I don't have to go. There's still time, I can turn down the job and stay here. We can get married, like we always talked about. SHEILA: Don't be ridiculous, Jerry, this is your dream job. You've wanted to go to Antarctica and study penguins since fourth grade. She picks up his bag, continues on. Jerry follows, grabs her arm. JERRY: I'm serious. I can get a job at the local zoo. We can buy a house, have some kids...it's not too late, Sheila. SHEILA: Jerry, don't. I'm not going to let you do this. JERRY: Do you love me? SHEILA: You're going to miss your flight. JERRY: I know we had our problems. I know words were said and feelings were hurt and I can't just make a big speech here and make all that go away. Other PASSENGERS swarm to the security line. Sheila looks on anxiously, glances at her watch. SHEILA: Seriously, Jerry, don't do this. JERRY: Look me in the eye and tell me you don't still love me. Do that and I'll go without another word. Sheila's phone buzzes--a text from BOB, 'we still on for tonight?' SHEILA: I've got to go. JERRY: That's it? I pour my heart out to you and that's all I get? Sheila holds up her phone, shows Jerry the text. His face goes blank as something inside him shuts off. SHEILA: I'm sorry, Jerry. I never wanted things to turn out like this. JERRY: No wonder you wanted to pack me off to the end of the world! You're dating my best friend! He snatches his bag, stomps off into line. Doesn't look back as Sheila walks away.

FEEDBACK 1 Nice job using dialogue to get information across, and I like your twist of twins being the ones to say goodbye. I'm curious about the world they live in and the final goodbye was really poignant. Nice work!

SCENE #5: EXT. OFFICE BUILDING – NIGHT TIME, SNOWY WILL (20s) and CHLOE (20s) are standing outside of their office building. Will, despite being in shock, has already begun walking quickly towards the road with the intention of flagging down a cab. Chloe reaches for his arm in an attempt to slow him down. He throws her off and continues to try to flag a cab. WILL: You’re a piece of work. CHLOE: Please, Will, just give me a second to explain – WILL: Explain what? That you somehow managed to interview for and accept a job all the way across the US without mentioning it once? That you lied to my face repeatedly— CHLOE: I didn’t lie to you. WILL: Don’t you dare play that line. Lying by omission is one in the same. Chloe stares at him, repentant, but silent. WILL: I had to find out at our team meeting that you’re leaving…. You were my best friend…. You were everything… CHLOE: I’m so sorry. WILL: Sorry for what, Chlo… CHLOE: I just, I couldn’t risk telling you. Because if you asked me to stay here in this job, in this city, with you, with her, I would have. I would have done it for you, and I would have resented you…. WILL: You coward. A cab has finally pulled up next to the duo. Will opens the door. WILL: Get in the cab. CHLOE: Will, tell me you understand. WILL: Good luck. I hope you find what you’re looking for.

FEEDBACK 9: Brian, I enjoyed the quick snappy dialog between Tom and Kerri. Tom is playfully unremorseful, and Kerri is smart enough to break off the relationship to avoid further humiliation. At first I wasn’t sure if it made sense that they showered together after a big fight due to his philandering, but I bought it since they seem to be an established couple with set routines. Plus, she is giving him mixed signals and isn’t quite sure of her own state of mind. They both have distinct voices, and you can see why Tom was attracted to Kerri and her spitfire personality.

Feedback 6 The back and forth between them is great. I love the fact that they are in the shower together arguing. They have mixed signals which gives us mixed signals which adds to the underlying tension. What is said is just as important as what ISN'T said. Great job.

Dialogue Challenge Day 9 Two characters say goodbye to each other for good Ext. Eiffel Tower Plaza Tourist mill about. Snapping pictures. Necks painfully craned upward. ANNA and DAVID stand among them, in their own world. Anna fluffs David's scarf up further on his neck. She flips the collar up on his coat. DAVID: Are you sure this is what you want? ANNA: No, I'm not sure. But there isn't another way. DAVID: You could stay. Find a job.... ANNA: I already have a job and this part of it is done. DAVID: But we are not done. There is so much I have to show you. ANNA: We knew when we started this it wouldn't be forever. I have a life that I must get back to. DAVID: You American girls are fond of breaking hearts. ANNA: And you French boys love mending them. They giggle. Anna kisses David. David pulls her close to him. ANNA: Thank you for everything. DAVID: If you ever find yourself in need of mending.... Anna smiles. ANNA: I'll know where to look. She turns and walks away. David watches her for a few moments then strolls off in a different direction.

Feedback 9 Good flow. Liked reading it. Voice two expresses a few times 'sorry' in a way of apologizing for something. I think if you leave it out it would make the sentence stronger.

Feedback 10 There is some crazy chemistry going on between them. Great take on the prompt. You've communicated good that he isn't going to change and she knows it and chooses herself.

SCENE 10 Office room looking out over the city. It's almost 7 p.m. A man in a suit works at his desk. His secretary walks in with a box in which her belongings are stored and puts it on the table. He looks up at her. Diana: I've organized the files. Jim: I've seen it. Thank you. His eyes wander to the box. Diana: Your agenda has been updated. Everything is double checked. You're set for this week. Jim: I appreciate it. Diana: I've made a working file for the new girl. When will she be here? Jim: we haven't found anyone who could replace you. It's difficult. Diana's eyes brim. Diana: I've put something in your suitcase. Jim opens his suitcase and finds a cooking book. He smiles. Diana: your wife told me you've taken up a cooking class. Jim stands up and walks to the box. Jim: I'll carry this to the elevator. They walk to the hallway where they wait. Silence. The door opens and Diana steps in. Diana: bye Jim: bye The door closes. Jim looks very sad.