blknwite at 2014-07-28 21:34:25:

Kindergarten Cop, Directed by Ivan Reitman Murray Salem ... (story) Murray Salem ... (screenplay) and Herschel Weingrod ... (screenplay) & Timothy Harris ... (screenplay) http://youtu.be/nP2xnAMQ3HM Kimble: you tell me who is your daddy and what does he do? Get it? We start right here. You. Girl: My dad repairs cars driven by women who are pinheads. Boy: My dad doesn't do anything since the crash. Girl: My dad gives money to people that doesn't have money...then people use that money... then they give other money back and they give the same amount of money back to my dad. Boy: My dad doesn't live with us anymore. He lives in New York and drives a taxi. My mom hopes he's going to die real soon. Girl: My dad watches TV all day long. Girl: My dad works on computers...and he's, um, the boss of his company... and, um, he has a mustache and a beard. Kimble: Mm-hmm. Girl: Yeah. He doesn't have that much hair because...and he...his head is so big that he can't wear any hats. Boy: My dad's divorced. My mom's divorced. Boy: My dad, um, is a psychologist...and he helps people that are hurt or lost their feelings... and, um, that's it. Twins: Our mom says that our dad is a real sex machine. Kimble: Good. Dominic: I don't know what my dad does. I haven't seen him in a long time. He lives in France. Boy: My dad is a gynecologist...and he looks at vaginas all day long. (transcript from Drews Scriptorama) From trivia on IMDB, Bill Murray and Patrick Swayze were originally offered the role of John Kimble. Danny DeVito was also considered, but was not given the part due to his height. Couldn't find original script but wondered if these comments were scripted they really sound spontaneous and are funny/poignant.