Jon Raymond at 2014-05-31 18:41:11:

This is perhaps off topic. I read the dialogue and then watched the clip here. The written dialogue was great. I laughed out loud. How often does that happen when you read a script? I suspect it happens a lot with Allen. But upon watching the clip I was much less impressed, even disappointed. It wasn't as funny. It was more sad and real. Was it the actors? I don't know. I think maybe some things just work on paper but not on the screen. Or they take on a whole new meaning and context. If she would have just stood there instead of walking away it would have worked much better. I watched some Mad Men episodes with the commentary on. One thing they said was that a lot of the stuff was really funny on paper. But on screen it became really dark and serious. In particular [SPOILER ALERT] when Peggy refused her baby. The writer said it looked really funny in the script. But played out, it becomes very real and tragic. So how do you foresee this context when writing, or is it even possible? Are you writing a script to be experienced as the written word, and sold based on that context?

Daniel Cossu at 2014-05-31 19:17:33:

Bonnie and Clyde (1967), written by David Newman & Robert Benton https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHZsJ_XFA-g BONNIE (putting her on) Ain't you ashamed? Tryin' to steal an old lady's automobile. CLYDE (with the same put-on) I been thinkin' about buyin' me one. BONNIE Bull. You ain't got money for dinner, let alone buy no car. CLYDE (still the battle of wits going on) Now I got enough money for cokes, and since it don't look like you're gonna invite me inside-- BONNIE You'd steal the dining room table if I did. CLYDE (he moves from his spot) Come to town with me, then. How'd that be? BONNIE (starting to walk onto the sidewalk) Goin' to work anyway. EXT. STREET. MOVING SHOT. DAY. The camera tracks. It is a hot Texas afternoon, all white light and glare. As they walk the block to town in this scene, their manner of mutual impudence is still pervading. CLYDE Goin' to work, huh? What do you do? BONNIE None of your business. CLYDE (pretending to give it serious thought) I bet you're a...movie star! (thinks) No...A lady mechanic?...No...A maid?-- BONNIE (really offended by that) What do you think I am? CLYDE (right on the nose) A waitress. BONNIE (slightly startled by his accuracy, anxious to get back now that he is temporarily one-up) What line of work are you in? When you're not stealin' cars? CLYDE (mysteriously) I tell you, I'm lookin' for suitable employment right at the moment. BONNIE What did you do before? CLYDE (coolly, knowing its effect) I was in State Prison. BONNIE State Prison? (she shows her surprise) CLYDE Yeah. BONNIE (herself again) Guess some little old lady wasn't so nice. CLYDE (tough) It was armed robbery. BONNIE (sarcastically) My, my, the things that turn up in the driveway these days.

Scott at 2014-05-31 19:49:10:

It has to play on the page. Period. If it's supposed to be funny, it has to be funny on the page. If it's supposed to be scary, it has to be scary on the page. Now in the translation from page to screen, it may lose something. OTOH it may play better on screen than on the page. So much of that is dependent on the casting, directing and production realities. As a writer, you have little control over that except for what you write on the page. Hopefully that is so clear to everyone involved in production, they'll hit your tone. All the more reason to make sure what you envision in your head makes it onto the page.

David Proenza at 2014-06-01 22:15:50:

Star Wars: Ep.V - Empire Strikes Back (1980) written by: Leigh Brackett and Lawrence Kasdan Han Solo: Hey, Your Worship, I'm only trying to help. Princess Leia: Would you please stop calling me that? Han Solo: Sure, Leia. Princess Leia: You make it so difficult sometimes. Han Solo: I do, I really do. You could be a little nicer, though. Come on, admit it. Sometimes you think I'm all right. Princess Leia: Occasionally, maybe... when you aren't acting like a scoundrel. Han Solo: Scoundrel? Scoundrel? I like the sound of that. [Han starts to massage Leia's hand] Princess Leia: Stop that. Han Solo: Stop what? Princess Leia: [timidly] Stop that. My hands are dirty. Han Solo: My hands are dirty, too. What are you afraid of? Princess Leia: Afraid? Han Solo: You're trembling. Princess Leia: I'm not trembling. [Han moves in closer] Han Solo: You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life. Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men. Han Solo: I'm nice men. Princess Leia: No, you're not. You're... [they kiss] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLWwmEUk0yg (video quality is a little off but it's all I could find - if you know of a better link...) This is more than just simple flirting. You know their true feelings for each other despite Leia's futile resistance...