Zach Jansen at 2014-03-01 23:40:49:

CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND Written by Charlie Kaufman Directed by George Clooney http://youtu.be/GMwWLcbc05I?t=21s ------------------ CHUCK BARRIS: Hi, folks. Before we begin taping today, I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Peter Jenks of the Federal Communications Commission. Okay? PETER JENKS: I don't know if any of you are aware of this, but it's a federal offense to make lascivious remarks on a television network broadcast. The penalty for this disgusting, un-American behavior is one year in prison, or a ten thousand dollar fine. Or both! Anyone making a sick or subversive remark tonight will be arrested immediately. I then will personally escort the offender to federal prison for booking under edict number 364 of the Broadcasting Act of 1963. And it's a long drive to that prison, baby. Just you and me. No witnesses. CHUCK BARRIS: Okay, have fun everybody... alright... ---------------- I don't have much to say about the dialogue, but the delivery is priceless. A hundred actors could read the same lines and never come close to Robert John Burke. He has maybe three or four scenes in the film, but his brave and off-beat choices (in an already off-beat movie) make his performance stand-out like nothing else -- I mean, talk about making the most of a few lines. As much as I love Sam Rockwell as Chuck Barris, I lust Robert John Burke as Peter Jenks.

Alejandro at 2014-03-02 12:47:30:

Back to School (1986) Writing Credits Rodney Dangerfield ... (story) & Greg Fields ... (story) & Dennis Snee ... (story) Steven Kampmann ... (screenplay) & William Porter ... (screenplay) (as Will Porter) and Pj Torokvei ... (screenplay) & Harold Ramis ... (screenplay) Rich Eustis ... (uncredited) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlVDGmjz7eM Professor All right, settle down, people. We've got a lot to cover, and time is short. There are two kinds of people in business today... the quick and the dead. So, rather than waste your time this semester... with a lot of useless theories... we're going to jump right in with both feet... and create a fictional company from the ground up. We'll construct our physical plant... we'll set up an efficient administrative... and executive structure... then we'll manufacture our product and market it. I think you'll find it very interesting and a lot of fun. So, let's start by looking at construction costs... of our new factory. Thornton What's the product? Professor That is immaterial... for the purposes of our discussion here... but if it makes you happy... let's say we're making tape recorders. Thornton Tape recorders? Are you kiddin'? The Japs will kill us on the labor costs. Professor OK, fine. Then let's just say they're widgets. Thornton What's a widget? Professor It's a fictional product. It doesn't matter. Thornton Doesn't matter. Tell that to the bank. Take it easy. It's the first day. Professor On the board, you will see a cost analysis... for construction of a square-foot facility... which will encompass both factory and office space... and is fully serviced by all utilities... a railroad spur line and a four-bay shipping dock. Thornton Hold it, hold it. Why build? You're better off leasing... at a buck and a quarter, a buck and a half a square foot. Take your down payment and put it into CDs... or something else you can roll over every couple of months. Professor Thank you, Mr. Melon... but we'll be concentrating on finance... a little later in the term. For the time being, let's just concentrate... on the construction figures, shall we? You'll see the final bottom line requires the factoring in... of not just the material and construction costs... but also the architects' fees and the cost of land servicing. Thornton Oh, you left out a bunch of stuff. Professor Oh, really? Like what, for instance? Thornton First of all, you have to grease the local politicians... for the sudden zoning problems that always come up. Then there's the kickbacks to the carpenters. And if you plan on using any cement in this building... I'm sure the teamsters would like to have... a little chat with you, and that'll cost you. Don't forget a little something for the building inspectors. There's the long-term costs, such as waste disposal. I don't know if you're familiar with who runs that business... but I assure you it's not the boy scouts. Professor That will be quite enough, Mr. Melon. Maybe bribes and kickbacks... and Mafia payoffs are how you do business... but they are not part of the legitimate business world... and they're certainly not part of anything... I'm teaching in this class. Do I make myself clear? Thornton Sorry. Just trying to help. That's all. Professor Now, notwithstanding Mr. Melon's input... the next question for us is where to build our factory. Professor How about Fantasyland? Trivia: Kurt Vonnegut Jr. played himself in a cameo for the film in which he is hired by Thornton Melon to write a paper on the topic of the novels of Kurt Vonnegut. As a joke, recognizing the work as not Melon's own, Professor Turner tells him, "Whoever did write this doesn't know the first thing about Kurt Vonnegut." Takeaway: "rather than waste your time this semester with a lot of useless theories..." nicely sets up the joke. Then Thornton comes up with real life experience and the professor rejects it. I just found out Harold Ramis was one of the writers. He'll be missed.