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The War of the Roses Written by Warren Adler (novel), Michael Leeson (screenplay) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aI5yFnWK9Eg Sarcasm here fuels the hate between the two leads and propels the story forward, being present particularly in the retorts. Oliver Rose: You weren't even multiorgasmic before you met me, were you? Barbara Rose: You really expect me to keep on reassuring you sexually even now when we disgust each other? -- [Oliver Rose pees on the fish Barbara Rose had prepared for the guests] Barbara Rose: I would never humiliate you like this! Oliver Rose: You're not equipped to, honey. -- [Finding out that they are going to get a divorce] Oliver Rose: And you better get yourself a damn good lawyer! Barbara Rose: Best your money can buy! -- Barbara Rose: [after learning that Oliver is moving back into the home] This is the stupidest thing you've ever done! Oliver Rose: Second stupidest.

As Good as It Gets (1997) Written by Mark Andrus and James L. Brooks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7sCxS6N3-4 Screenplay available on: http://sfy.ru/?script=as_good_as_it_gets SIMON (O.S.) Mr. Udall, I'd like to talk to you please. MELVIN 'Love was... ' He almost has the rest of the sentence -- the meaning of love -- but the knocking throws him. MELVIN ... Son-of-a-bitch-pansy-assed- stool-pusher. He burst from his chair. INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - HALLWAY - NIGHT As Simon hears MELVIN through the door and takes a step back. Melvin throws open the door. He looks demonic. MELVIN (loud and angry) Yeeeess!!! SIMON Maybe this can wait. Frank signals encouragement as Melvin opens the door. SIMON I found Verdell, Mr. Udall. MELVIN Well, that's a load off. Melvin walks back into the apartment and is about to close the door when Simon has another burst of bravery. SIMON Did you... do something to him? MELVIN Do you realize that I work at him? SIMON (eyes downcast) No, I didn't. MELVIN Do you like to be interrupt when you are danging around in your little garden? SIMON No... actually, I even shut the phone off and put a little piece of cardboard in the ringer so no one can just buzz me from d... MELVIN Well, I work all the time. So never, never again interrupt me. Okay? I mean, never. Not 30 years from now... not if there's fire. Not even if you hear a thud from inside my home and a week later there's a smell from in there that can only come from a decaying body and you have to hold a hanky against your face because the stench is so thick you think you're going to faint even then don't come knocking or, if it's election night and you're excited and want to celebrate because some fudge-packer you dated has been elected the first queer President of the United States... and he's going to put you up in Camp David and you just want to share the moment with someone... don't knock ... not on this door. Not for anything. Got me. Sweetheart? SIMON Yes. It's not a subtle point you're making. MELVIN Okay, then. Trivia: Udall's response to the question about how he writes women is an actual response given by author John Updike when asked the same question.

In the Loop - (2009) (Armando Iannucci, Ian Martin, Harold Manning, Simon Blackwell, Tony Roche, Jesse Armstrong) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLIP0ZtoiO4 INT. WHITE HOUSE. SMALLISH ROOM - DAY Malcolm is arriving into a meeting room set up with water etc with a young man who looks like an intern, A.J. A.J. How are you today? Beat the traffic? Malcolm looking around, as if things aren't right. MALCOLM Yeah yeah. Hunky dory. Can I get a coffee? He gives AJ his coat. A.J. (doesn't take coat then eventually does and just puts it on a chair, not the coat stand) Sure, sure, if we get started, I'll get my assistant to bring us some refreshments. MALCOLM (realising) Your assistant? A.J. (sitting, picking up a file in the room) Yeah. So, Item. We need to have a conversation about the mood of the British Parliament. Any bumps in the road ahead. MALCOLM I'm sorry son, am I - is this it? No offence, but shouldn't you be at school with your head down a toilet? A.J. Your first point there, the offence. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take it. Your second point. I'm 22. But - item - It's my birthday in nine days, so if it would be more comfortable we could... wait...? MALCOLM Don't get sarcastic with me son. (starts dialling) We burnt this tight-arsed city to the ground in 1814 and I'm all for doing it again. Starting with you, you frat fuck. You get sarcastic with me again and I will stuff so much cotton wool dowm your fucking throat it'll come out of your arse like the wee tail on a playboy bunny. Okay? I thought...I was led to believe I was attending the war committee. A.J. Yes, Assistant Secretary of State Linton Barwick wanted me to brief you on the work of the Future Planning Committee. MALCOLM I don't want the bullshit son, I want the bull. No one sidelines me. I'm away. Malcolm gets up, grabs his coat. An even younger guy wheels in a coffee trolley. MALCOLM (CONT'D) And here we go - the fucking Vice President has also graced us with his presence!

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