Been watching too much Breaking Bad.... -------- EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING, MANHATTAN - DAY A swanky looking apartment building. LARRY the doorman, opens the oak and stained glass entrance door for Armani clad ASIF (56) making his way up the front steps. Carrying a bag of groceries and an overized plush giraffe from FAO Schwartz, Asif steps into the main lobby, stopping for a few quick words with Larry, before continuing to the elevator. INT. CORRIDOR, 5TH FLOOR Asif exits the elevator at the top floor, strides along an empty corridor towards number 504. Arriving at his apartment, he presses the giraffe against the door, fumbles for his keys. As it unlocks, Asif regains control of the toy, pushes the door open with his hip. Melody appears from nowhere. Using the two handed grip the CIA teaches at The Farm, she aims her silenced Beretta at the back of his head, squeezes off a single shot. pfft. Asif tumbles flailing through the door, groceries and giraffe go sprawling into the apartment's hallway. She stands over him, and in a few seconds, rapidly empties her gun's clip, nine more bullets, into his head and body. From inside the apartment we hear the enthusiastic scampering of a 4 year old girl and her puppy. LAILA (O.S.): (happy) Daddy! Just like that, Melody vanishes. We see LAILA turn the corner into the corridor. She stops to stare at her father's corpse. PUPPY goes right up, sniffs the body, then the plush giraffe, red and sopping wet, as it soaks up his blood. LAILA: (scared) Daddy...

The problem with murder scenes is that they're pretty much set pieces, and a great murder scene can take a movie from good to memorable (Basic Instinct anyone??). As Scott says, you want to be memorable. But in an exercise like this, one's natural tendency is not to give away the good stuff. That said, this is based on an idea I've been playing with for a while, and while it's underwritten and rough, I could really use some feedback, especially from the more professional types here, on the basic idea, its construction and most importantly how a scene like this will play with readers and producers. I really need to know where the boundary lies and if this scene crosses it. I apologize in advance if it's a little too out there for anyone, or if it comes across as a bad porn movie scene. thx, -pliny ---- INT. BEDROOM, FIRENZE HOTEL, LAS VEGAS - NIGHT Lush hotel room. We hear the sound of two couples fucking coming from the bedroom, slow rhythmic sound of leather slapping against flesh. POV ON: TONY KLEIN (52), hairy and shlubby, unhealthily overweight mofo, lies facedown across one side of the king sized bed. Sweating profusely, his gagged mouth straining while a dusting of coke covers his nose, Tony fixates on the porn playing on the television. Behind him, the boy in this situation and banging him vigorously in the ass, Chastity Jones, perspiring hard, focuses on the electronic stethoscope resting on his back. His heart is jacked up all the way to 160 beats per minute. Chastity leans over to the bedside table, where a dangerous looking gun and her bag sit, along with a half-full bottle of water and an opened box of Viagra or some other boner pill. 4 pills are missing. Still pounding hard, she shuffles through her bag, extracts a small plastic nasal spray bottle, unscrews the cap. Scrawled on the side: AMYL. Leaning forward, she uses one gloved hand to cover Tony's mouth, while the other injects Amyl up his nose. It hits instantaneously, as Tony starts to struggle. -- Stethoscope says 170 bpm. Chastity's eyes widen, smiles sardonically, almost in excitement, as she drops the bottle on the bed, and using both hands to cover his mouth while bracing herslef, pounds harder and harder. ON STETHOSCOPE: 175... 180... 185... 190... 200... Tony's torso jerks, spasms and bucks into a cardiac arrest. This is what she wanted, and she's not stopping now, holding on until Tony's heart betrays him and fails... ON STETHOSCOPE: 120... 100... 80... 65... and finally zero. Chastity stops. She lies there on his back, her head sideways in the hollow between his shoulders, as if she doesn't trust the stethoscope but wants to hear the silence of his deceased heart for herself. Tony still gazes fish-eyed at the TV, small sliver of saliva dribbles from the corner of his mouth to the pillow.

INT. FACTORY KITCHEN - DAY SAMUEL (40s) grey beard and curly hair, wears a white plastic butcher apron. He holds himself, facing the kitchen wall, breathing hard. His eyes closed tight, tears drop and hit the stone floor. He seems to struggle to control himself and SCREAMS. He finally stand up straight, his face red with anger and he looks around. He walks to the closest inox table and grabs a large kitchen knife from the drawer. He slams the drawer shut and walks to another table, his face convoluted with anger. Nothing can stop him now. He raises the knife high up and hammers it down against the table, chopping something OS. A single jet of blood hits his face. He pauses for a beat and reconsiders but a thought hits his mind and he raises the blade again. He enters a fury and hammers the blade down once more, and again. He continues to hit OS with anger as more blood spurts against his face and his apron. The kitchen door opens slowly as a man in dark suit walks in. The chopping noise mixed with the screams of anger are horrific and the man walks cautiously. He walks right up to Samuel's back, brings a syringe to his neck and in a swift move, covers the man's mouth and plugs the syringe into the skin. Samuel tries to fight but quickly falls to the ground as the man in a dark suit slows down his fall. Leaving Samuel lying on the floor, the man stands up to see a mooshed up fish, the real victim of Samuel's anger. He smirks and leaves. Samuel lies on the floor, saliva dropping from his mouth, his eyes empty of any sign of life.