14Shari at 2013-09-12 14:01:02:

INT. LIVING ROOM – EARLY EVENING Diane, a young student sits in an exquisite living room. The lady of the house, in evening dress ready for a party, pores over her resume. Her former babysitter left abruptly. Diane nips some tea. LADY: So, quite an impressive list. Why did you leave your job? Diane puts down her cup of tea hastily, spilling it over the glass covered table. DIANE: Oh, I’m sorry. Diana, aware of the disapproving piercing look from the lady. DIANE: They moved to France LADY: I see. If the baby is crying all the time, how would you handle it? The lady stands up to get something from a closet. DIANE: I..I..would rock it in my hands The lady hands Diane a baby doll. She pulls a cord. SOUND OF BABY CRYING. Diane is surprised. LADY: show it to me. DIANE: What? – You want me to show it? LADY: Yes, show it to me. I’ve got a cry baby. I need to see how you handle it. Diane rocks the crying baby doll. DISSOLVE TO: INT. BABY ROOM – NIGHT A REAL baby lies in her cradle, crying hard. Diane rocks it in the cradle. No success. She rocks it in her arms. No success. DIANE: No shitting, you really are a cry baby. (sings while baby keeps crying) Rock-a-bye baby, in the tree top When the wind blows, the cradle will rock When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall And down will come baby, cradle and all Diana walks around, the baby against her shoulders. Still, the baby cries. Desperately, Diane calls her mother, no one answers the phone. DIANE: you must get tired sometimes. (talking to baby) Baby cries harder. Then, an idea hits her. The baby is back in the cradle. Diane grabs a book out of her bag. She reads aloud, interrupted by the crying baby. DIANE: (some text of Montesquieu in French) …Les peuples des États despotiques sont dans un cas bien différent. Je ne sais sur quoi, dans ces pays, le législateur pourrait statuer, ou le magistrat juger. Il suit de ce que les terres appartiennent au prince, qu'il n'y a presque point de lois civiles sur la propriété des terres. Il suit du droit que le souverain a de succéder, qu'il n'y en a pas non plus sur les successions. Le négoce exclusif qu'il fait dans quelques pays rend inutiles toutes sortes de lois sur le commerce… The longer Diane reads the more quiet the baby gets, till it falls asleep.

rojomayne at 2013-09-12 14:14:52:

Mr. Sparks: The creatures, they are fascinating to view in their natural habitats. You must see for yourself, professor. Professor: Don’t you mean their caged, natural habitats, Mr. Sparks? Mr. Sparks: (chuckles) Yes, of course. They can be quite dangerous when left to their own devices. Mr. Sparks gazes into the chaotic streets of New York City from his high rise office window. DISSOLVE TO: POV. Professor. He gazes through a space shuttle window, down toward an alien planet, blemished with expansive, man-made containment systems. Hey guys. I have been simmering a spec in my mind for a week or so now, and this daily exercise from Scott inspired me to write something down for the first time regarding the idea. So consider this scene a newborn, wet behind the ears, (insert other relative, corny phrases). I didn't want to over explain the scene or concept, just focused on the Visual to Visual transition challenge. I hope this painted a picture or incited some sort of mood in some way. Thanks for reading, feedback of any kind aways welcomed. Cheers! R.A. Johnson

Tyler Tarlton at 2013-09-12 14:21:24:

INT – CASINO POKER ROOM – EVENING CARTER EDMONDS, clad in a stained polo featuring a fast food restaurant badge with his name, sits at a half-full poker table amidst a sea of empty tables. A large stack of chips sits in the center. Two players have already folded. A 4 of hearts, a 4 of clubs, a 3 of hearts and a Queen of diamonds sit in the center of the table. Carter looks nervously at his opponent, a punk-looking kid complete with aviator sunglasses and headphones. A wannabe pro. DEALER (to Carter): Sir, do you wish to call Mr Johnson’s bet? Carter looks at his remaining chips then peaks at his two cards. CARTER’S P.O.V. – THE TWO CARDS displayed are a 4 of diamonds and a 4 of spades. Four of a kind. BACK TO SCENE Carter leans back and closes his eyes. This is a huge decision. He opens his eyes and wipes a hand across his brow. He feels a buzz in his lap and glances at his phone sitting there. His wife is calling. He lets it ring. DEALER: Sir? CARTER: All in. Carter pushes his chips into the center of the table. The two folded players lean in with renewed interest. DEALER: That would be a $100 raise to you Mr Johnson. Mr Johnson throws in a few chips without hesitation. MR JOHNSON: Call. DEALER: Your cards sirs. Carter turns over his pair of 4’s with a slight smile on his face. Mr Johnson turns over a 5 and 6 of hearts. DEALER: Four of a kind for Mr Edmonds and a possible straight flush for Mr Johnson. Carter’s smile fades as he sees his opponent’s cards. The dealer discards one card and then flips over the river. A 7 of hearts. Carter sinks into his chair. Mr Johnson smiles and rakes in his chips. INT – CASINO LOBBY – EVENING Carter wanders into the lobby, aimless and dazed. He pulls out his wallet. It’s empty save for a small piece of paper. He unfolds it. INSERT – PARKING ENFORCEMENT NOTICE “YOUR CAR HAS BEEN BOOTED BY THE AUTHORITY OF THE LAS VEGAS PARKING COMMISSION. A FINE OF $350.00 IS REQUIRED TO REMOVE THE BOOT. PLEASE CALL 1-800-997-9934 TO SCHEDULE PAYMENT.” BACK TO SCENE Carter crumples up the paper and throws it down. He continues wandering and nearly trips into the lobby’s large fountain. Carter stares at the cascading water. DISSOLVE TO: EXT – MIDDLE CLASS NEIGHBORHOOD – EVENING It is raining. The cat and dog variety. A small house sits on a corner. A carport sits alongside. An old Buick sits on one side with the other being empty. Carter runs across the street and onto the porch. INT – MIDDLE CLASS HOUSE – EVENING Carter plunges through the door, soaking wet. A removes his jacket and lays it on a bench next to the door. JILL EDMONDS (O.S.): Carter, is that you? A moment later JILL EDMONDS enters from the kitchen. JILL: Oh gosh, did you play out in the rain? CARTER: Um, no..I had a flat so I dropped it at the shop. They said they might not get done with it before close. So I, um, walked here.. JILL: Another flippin flat? Great. You walked? I could’ve come picked you up. CARTER: I know, my phone died and well, I, um, didn’t want you to have to get out in this mess. Jill eyes him with suspicion before turning back to the kitchen. JILL: Oh well. Come one, supper’s getting cold. Oh, and when I called you, it rang. Carter lowers his head. He notices a stack of bills in the basket beneath the mail slot. Several of them read FINAL NOTICE. He picks them up and stuffs them behind the bench. JILL (O.S.): You coming? Carter looks at where he stashed the bills and then heads for the kitchen.

plinytheelder_t at 2013-09-12 15:19:01:

INT. KITCHEN, MELODY'S HOME - DAY Huge rustic kitchen. Pristine. Calvin Wells is crouched down, pets Melody's dog, Bradley. CALVIN: What are you up to? MELODY (O.S.): My sister lost her engagement ring down the waste disposal... Melody enters from the garage, toolbox in hand. Glances at Calvin, who rises, leans against a counter-top. MELODY: She went out for some smokes and to get me some beer. You've got five minutes until she gets back. CALVIN: D.G.E.S. satellite office in Vienna... They have the black box from the McDonald crash. MELODY: Simple job... can't you get someone else? I hate Vienna. CALVIN: I really do need you on this. Gotta keep things on the down low. Melody steps to the sink, sets toolbox on the floor, extracts a head mounted lamp, adjusts it. She opens the cabinet beneath the sink, turns on the lamp, and with monkey wrench in hand kneels. MELODY: Do we really care about the black box? CALVIN: What if I arrange a private meeting with Christian Leboutin in Paris? On my tab. Whatever he makes for you. FRONT POV as she examines the u-bend, adjusting the wrench to fit the first joining nut. MELODY: (impressed) You know Christian? CALVIN: We're close friends... like brothers. DISSOLVE TO: FRONT POV of Melody crawling along an air conditioning duct, in her Sunday best cat-burglar clothes, head mounted lamp turned on. She looks frustrated. MELODY: So and Christian are like brothers, huh? CALVIN: (beat) Not each other's brother... MELODY: Calvin! CALVIN: But we are tight. In fact he asked me to arrange a meeting with you... says he wants you to be his muse... he's thinking about starting a Melody Powers line for women who kick ass and look hot doing it. MELODY: But kicking ass is what makes us hot, or do I have to give you another demonstration when I get back? Melody reaches the vent overlooking the small lab holding the black box, as it lies on a workbench. MELODY: Okay, I see it... doesn't look like they've dismantled the black box yet. Melody unrolls her burglars tools on the vent's floor.

Angie at 2013-09-12 15:36:11:

INT. LEGRANDIN’S CHATEAU - DAY Alexi stands in front of a large Monet-- THE ARTIST’S FAMILY IN THE GARDEN. It portrays a mother and two children sitting among a bed of flowers. Next to him is Legrandin, who observes Alexi, not the painting. Alexi leans forward, pulling a small MAGNIFYING GLASS from his pocket. He studies the brush strokes, trying to determine the work’s authenticity. ALEXI: How did you come by this? LEGRANDIN: That is a matter best not discussed. ALEXI: So you have no papers. LEGRANDIN: Hence, the price. Alexi takes a step closer to the canvas. ALEXI: I’ll need to see the back of the canvas. Alexi straightens up and looks at the flowers without his magnifying glass. ZOOM IN to the flower bed, the red and white blooms becoming a mass of indiscernible smudges as we get closer and closer-- we begin to ZOOM BACK OUT, the petals of real flowers start to take shape and we see that we are amongst a flower bed-- EXT. LEGRANDIN’S GARDEN - DAY A garden much like that of the painting. Only it’s not populated by an idyllic 19th century family. Alexi’s goon squad mills about by the bed of RED TULIPS. VITALY: I don’t see why we can’t go in with him. ILIA: Because he is working something, I am telling you. KIRILL: These tulips are gorgeous. Ilia and Vitaly whip around on their brawny colleague, knelt down with his big Russian head buried in a handful of tulips. VITALY: Idiot.

plinytheelder_t at 2013-09-12 19:44:22:

EXT. SOCCER FIELD, CAMBRIDGE - DAY Rain continues to fall, but the wide grin on Peter Raglan's boyish face tells it all: that this is as pure a moment of enjoyment has he's had in a long while. With the ball at his feet, Peter looks up, sees Roger Henley running up the left flank and heaves a long pass to his winger. Small group of sideline spectators shout words of encouragement. Landing ahead of the speeding Roger, the now waterlogged brown leather football rolls along the ground, and as Roger makes contact with his boot we... DISSOLVE TO: EXT. KASHMIR PLAINS - DAY Something like a brown, cloth colored football rolling along the ground in the middle of a dust storm. In the haze, horse legs in furious motion, rolling thunderous noise of hooves hitting ground as a heavy stick strikes the ball sending it flying into the air, landing between a pair of white upright poles. As the mass of rags rolls to a stop, we see that this is infact the head of a rival tribesman, his face frozen in a stare of fear and surprise. Deafening roar of an appreciative crowd erupts as they celebrate a goal, while the dozen horsemen on the field gather together. Six wear traditional Kashmiri dress, the others in the red coats of Her Majesty Queen Victoria's 5th Royal Irish Lancers. Peter Raglan is being slapped on the shoulder by the others, as the fierce-eyed Ben-Ali Singh waits patiently until last to offer his congratulations. BEN-ALI: You ride like a Pathan Warrior. Are you sure you were not one of us in a previous life? PETER: You honor me, but who can know these things except the Creator? Perhaps I was, Sahib. Perhaps I was.

plinytheelder_t at 2013-09-13 02:03:40:

FYI, the background for this is a tv-show idea: An international movie star's films are cover for her ongoing missions as the government's top covert operative. -- Alias meets Argo. Back to your notes (for which, thank you, btw.): I know what you mean, but Melody says "you've got 5 minutes" which is her way of telling Calvin to get to the point. Moreover, there were two reasons for not adding that extra line: i) Calvin's actions there felt like something that should be left to the actor. ii) I'm tending to leave out stuff just to keep things short for this exercise. The issues here are basically 1st draft issues, imho. Which are only to be expected given the short amount of time we had for this exercise. As for genre, in my mind this is no more an action/spy comedy than Lethal Weapon is. So while there's banter, it's mostly there for the sake of trying not to be on the nose with the dialogue. I only put in one joke for joke's sake: "Not each other's brother."

Aurélien Lainé at 2013-09-13 03:22:31:

INT. FARM HOUSE - DAY Young blond head TOBY (8) finishes his bowl of cereals as his Mother, JENNY MC GUIRE (40s) walks around, the baby crying in her arms. BENJAMIN MC GUIRE (40s) Toby's father, stares at the the news on TV, in the adjacent room. He is silent. After a beat, he turns off the TV, walks into the kitchen, a blank stare on his face. He puts on his hat, kisses his wife and leaves the house. She looks at him go, hugging the baby close to her to appease him. Her eyes betray the same sadness. Toby jumps out of his seat, grabs his hat and runs out of the house, following his dad. JENNY: Did you finish you cereals? TOBY (OS): Yes mum. Jenny walks a few more steps and Toby rushes back in and hugs her deeply. She closes her eyes, tears roll down her face. Toby escapes her grip and runs out again. As he leaves the room, Jenny walks to the gaz range, wiping her face and turns the GAZ KNOB. INT. TRACTOR - DAY Benjamin turns the KEY in the ignition and the tractor shakes into motion. Young Toby jumps into the tractor and sits by his father's side, all smiles out. Benjamin looks one more time over his shoulder to see his wife standing by the house's entrance. He looks at her for a beat and drives away. EXT. FIELD - DAY The tractor is parked by the road. The man and his boy walk towards the irrigation pump, side by side. Toby picks up rocks on his way and throws them with all his might. TOBY: Dad, why is everyone so afraid? BENJAMIN: Because what's coming is very scary. TOBY: I'm not scared. Benjamin smiles a contained but loving smile. BENJAMIN: You're a very courageous boy. TOBY: The most courageous you know? BENJAMIN: The most courageous I know. They reach the pump where Benjamin opens the valve and checks the water. Toby continues to pick up rocks and throw them in the empty land. He finds a funny looking one, heavier. He picks it up with great efforts and as he's about to throw it, the rock slips away and hits the pumps close to his father who jumps in surprise. BENJAMIN: Stop playing with the damn rocks will you? Toby scares away from the unexpected burst. TOBY: Sorry dad. Benjamin realizes that he might have been too harsh. He walks to his son, comes down on one knee and hugs him deeply. Toby breaks into tears. TOBY: Dad, are we all going to die? Benjamin looks at his son in silence, he is tearing too. He manages a smile. BENJAMIN: Let's throw some rocks. He stands up, picks a rock and throws it in the air. EXT. SPACE - UNKNOWN A large rocks travels at a fulgurant speed through space. In the background, Earth.

kathrynk at 2013-09-29 18:07:27:

EXT. GULF COAST - DAY The waves hit the sandy beach. NARRATOR(VO): Another sign of autumn can be seen here on the gulf coast, as preparations are made for an arduous migration. Shot pulls back, over the dunes to a scrubby area with a few bushes. CU on one large bush that appears to be moving. Get closer and we see hundreds of Monarch Butterflies quivering, gorgeous as the sunlight hits their wings: orange segments trimmed in black with white dots. NARRATOR: These Monarch Butterflies have amassed on the coast to eat and rest until by some unknown signal, they will depart to cross the Gulf of Mexico and complete their thousand mile journey. The bush shakes harder as dozens take flight at the same time into a blue sky. NARRATOR: How any of these fragile-seeming, beautiful creatures make it is a mystery, but of course, many will not survive. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. SMALL BOAT IN GULF OF MEXICO LUCIA, 10, is alone in the boat. Her clothing torn and dirty, her face sunburned, and her lips parched. She checks the fishing lines she has around the boat -- nothing. She lifts a gallon water jug and stares at the remaining sips. She drinks the last water. A weak sob escapes her emaciated frame. A single Monarch Butterfly lands on the edge of the boat. The flutter of its' wings graze her hand. She looks at it in wonder. She edges her hand closer. It steps onto her finger. It opens its' wings to dry in the sun. She is mesmerized. She watches as it flies off. She wipes the tears away and sets her jaw. She goes back to the fishing lines. -------------------------------- Hey guys. I thought that most of these transitions go from a single object to many, or a small one to a large one. So I wanted to flip that, start with a group then go to a single. But I realized what's happening is that we go from the general to the specific or significant, regardless of the number of items. Interesting exercise.