Annie: Are you fucking kidding me? Annie's Mom: Annie? Annie: No, mom. Mother fucking Paris? I told you about Paris, Helen! I told you about this whole idea! Lillian: Annie, calm down... Annie: No, Lillian! What are you gonna go, you're gonna go to Paris with Helen now? What are you gonna, you guys gonna ride around on bikes with berets and fucking baguettes in the basket on the front of your bikes? Oh how romantic! What woman gives another woman a trip to Paris? Am I right? Lesbian! We're all thinking it, aren't we? Becca: [quickly] I'm not. Megan: I was. Annie: Okay! Yes, we're all thinking it, right? Annie's Mom: Annie... Annie: Lillian, this is not the you that I know! The you that I know would have walked in here and rolled your eyes and would have thought that this was completely over the top, ridiculous, and stupid! Look at this shower! Look at that *fucking* cookie! Did you really think that this group of women was gonna finish that cookie? Really, and you know that reminds me actually; I never got a chance to try that *fucking* cookie! [storms off] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8_5uPfGXjA Probably the entire second Act of this movie is made up of a series of 'scenes'. I don' mean that in the screenwriting sense, I mean that in the humiliating publicly embarrassing sense. This is the big one. Where all of the grievances are aired once and for all. After this point, there are no more 'scenes' - simply rebuilding and redemption. It's great because between crapping in the street, being chased by an Air Marshall, and losing your best friend, I'm just shattered for Annie.

EXT. BERGDORF GOODMAN - DAY The Fifth Avenue exit. Linda exits the building. The security guard exits a few moments later. Arthur and Hobson follow. The caravan travels back a block or so before the security guard stops Linda. SECURITY GUARD: (showing her his badge) I beg your pardon, Miss. I’m the security guard in the store. LINDA: (Most definitely from New York) Yeah? Trust me … you don’t need the badge. No customer would be wearing that jacket. Well, whattya want? Arthur and Hobson are watching the confrontation, along with a small group of spectators. SECURITY GUARD: I’m afraid I’m going to have to look in your bag, Miss. I saw you put something in it. Linda takes out a pencil and pad. LINDA: You’ve got trouble, mister! You’re never going to work on the East Coast again. What’s your name? Angle on Arthur and Hobson watching. ARTHUR: She’s sensational! I love her! HOBSON: (bored) She does have a certain Eleanor Roosevelt quality. Angle on Linda and the security guard. LINDA: (writing) Chester Manning. Okay. What’s your address, Chester? SECURITY GUARD: Um … Miss … LINDA: (screaming) What’s the address, Chester! (louder) Let’s have it! I’m not playing games with you! SECURITY GUARD: Look! I saw you put a tie in that bag! LINDA: (furious) What did you say? (to the crowd) Somebody call a cop. I don’t want you to move out of my sight. Get your hands off me. His hands are nowhere near her. Arthur steps forward. ARTHUR: (to the security guard) Uh … Chester … I’m Arthur Bach … I think I can straighten this out. SECURITY GUARD: Hello, Mr. Bach. You really should stay out of this. LINDA: Well … he’s in it, Chester. Tell him, Alfred. ARTHUR: Uh … I know this young woman. In fact … we were shopping together. LINDA: Right. Where the hell have you been? SECURITY GUARD: She’s a friend of yours, Mr. Bach? LINDA: He just said that, Chester. You’re such a schmuck, Chester. ARTHUR: He’s just doing his job, darling. LINDA: Well … this whole thing is being handled badly. You’re lucky he showed up, Chester. ARTHUR: I asked her to pick out a tie for me. I was going to put it on my bill at the shirt counter. LINDA: And you didn’t pay for it? Chester … what can I say? I had no idea. Arthur starts to reach into Linda’s satchel. ARTHUR: (to Linda) May I look at the tie? LINDA: Of course. I hope you like it. Arthur pulls out the tie. ARHUR: I love it. Thank you. You’re really wonderful. Arthur grabs her and kisses her fully on the lips. After the kiss, Linda looks at him menacingly. LINDA: (after the kiss) Not in front of all these people, dear. They might think you’re an animal. SECURITY GUARD: Mr. Bach … you understand that it’s my job to … ARTHUR: And you did it well. I’ll mention it to Mr. Peterson when I see him. LINDA: Me, too. ARTHUR: Would you ask the woman at the shirt counter to put this on my bill? The security guard goes back into the store. The small crowd disperses. --Arthur (1981), written by Steve Gordon http://youtu.be/_5Bv0rXwkgU This is one helluva meet-cute. After watching Linda shoplift from Bergdorfs – and immediately becoming enamored with her -- Arthur follows her outside, where the security guard is already on her tail. Arthur and Linda interact for the first time in an outlandish exchange, making details up as they go. This takes your boring “Hi. How are you? Nice to meet you” -type introduction and propels it to an entirely different level. With a dramatic kiss to boot.