Hilarious. Have you tried https://twitter.com/ichmaelyttt ?

You left out the most obvious explanation: Ichmael Yttt is you. One of your alts is obviously an aspiring poet. Now you know what you've been doing during your blackouts.

A la Donald Kaufman, I fear Ichmael Yttt may soon be hanging out in your house, laying on your floor trying to fix his thrown-out back, and finishing the leftovers in your 'fridge.

Now you've got my wheels turning...what if Max Millimeter met Ichmael Yttt? Now there's some juicy dialogue possibilities!

Scott, Do you know a Diane Simpson? She was using "ergo kumquat" as far back as 1995 -- http://lists.cohousing.org/archives/cohousing-l/msg04458.html Perhaps she knows Mr. Yttt (or knows you, or, as I suspect, that's the same thing). I also found it being used here: http://www.adamofficial.com/es/node/237013 Although I assume "Mardonna" is just a pseudonym you use (we all know how much you lurve Adam Lambert). I also see where you used it on a Trekkie forum, posting under the name Foxhot: http://www.trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=158542 And in the Second Life forums, as Perduto Pontoppidan, Lord of the Crows: http://forums-archive.secondlife.com/112/14/78940/1.html Your alternate personalities certainly have varied interests.

Okay, the mystery thickens. Diane Simpson may have used the term in 1995, but I swear my usage of pre-dates that. I did stand-up from 1985-1987 and I DEFINITELY used it in my act. And while I can't date the precise moment where the words "ergo" and "kumquat" melded out of my mouth next to each other, it was definitely before 1985. Now I suppose it's possible I could be suffering from fake memory [or whatever that condition is] and HEARD someone say it, but in all honesty, I remember humble ol' me generating the phrase myself. This is not the only such item I've coined. For example, there's this: "I feel like the fifth wheel of a horse." Yet another stupid thing I've been known to say to generate a laugh when describing a state of being out-of-sorts or feeling like crap. I may have to start trademarking these dumb lingo items before more Ichmael Yttt's come along and steal my thunder!

Leibniz and Newton both invented calculus (an entire discipline) independently. Somehow, the idea that two people would string together the same two words doesn't seem so far-fetched.

You could always contact Wasteland Press, the self-publishing company that put out the poetry book, and see if they can connect you with a copy or with the author. And I found what looks like a copy for sale at Waterstones.com in the UK. This post now has a very high search rank for "Ichmael Ytt", so perhaps Mr. Ytt will come to you.