http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wWUc8BZgWE Famous scene from Annie Hall when Woody gets stuck in the movie line next to the know-it-all: Alvy Singer: [the man behind him in line is talking loudly] What I wouldn't give for a large sock with horse manure in it! Alvy Singer: [to audience] Whaddya do when you get stuck in a movie line with a guy like this behind you? Man in Theatre Line: Wait a minute, why can't I give my opinion? It's a free country! Alvy Singer: He can give it... do you have to give it so loud? I mean, aren't you ashamed to pontificate like that? And the funny part of it is, Marshall McLuhan, you don't know anything about Marshall McLuhan! Man in Theatre Line: Oh, really? Well, it just so happens I teach a class at Columbia called "TV, Media and Culture." So I think my insights into Mr. McLuhan, well, have a great deal of validity! Alvy Singer: Oh, do ya? Well, that's funny, because I happen to have Mr. McLuhan right here, so, so, yeah, just let me... [pulls McLuhan out from behind a nearby poster] Alvy Singer: come over here for a second... tell him! Marshall McLuhan: I heard what you were saying! You know nothing of my work! You mean my whole fallacy is wrong. How you got to teach a course in anything is totally amazing! Alvy Singer: Boy, if life were only like this!

Woody Allen has a ton of clever one-liners and throwaways, but I went with (boring old) thematic resonance, ha ha. I put two here, the first from Crimes and Misdemeanors, and the second from Match Point. Both reflect this haunting theme of a lack of meaning/morality in a modern world. Judah Rosenthal: And after the awful deed is done, he finds that he's plagued by deep-rooted guilt. Little sparks of his religious background which he'd rejected are suddenly stirred up. He hears his father's voice. He imagines that God is watching his every move. Suddenly, it's not an empty universe at all, but a just and moral one, and he's violated it. Now, he's panic-stricken. He's on the verge of a mental collapse-an inch away from confessing the whole thing to the police. And then one morning, he awakens. The sun is shining, his family is around him and mysteriously, the crisis has lifted. He takes his family on a vacation to Europe and as the months pass, he finds he's not punished. In fact, he prospers. The killing gets attributed to another person-a drifter who has a number of other murders to his credit, so I mean, what the hell? One more doesn't even matter. Now he's scott-free. His life is completely back to normal. Back to his protected world of wealth and privilege. Christopher "Chris" Wilton: It would be fitting if I were apprehended... and punished. At least there would be some small sign of justice - some small measure of hope for the possibility of meaning. The other major takeaway from Woody Allen as a filmmaker/writer is to DO IT. He's made a movie a year since the seventies. Sure, he has whatever funding lines and everything else available to him, but he also has those pages. Every year. He's a worker.

Midnight In Paris (2011) http://movieclips.com/a6WV-midnight-in-paris-movie-meeting-hemingway/ Gil: Gil Pender. Ernest Hemingway: Hemingway. Gil: Hemingway? Ernest Hemingway: You liked my book? Gil: Liked? I loved all of your work. Ernest Hemingway: Yes. It was a good book because it was an honest book, and that's what war does to men. And there's nothing fine and noble about dying in the mud unless you die gracefully. And then it's not only noble but brave. Takeaway: Allen had to introduce all these historical figures in a quick and efficient manner, sometimes reducing them to mere caricatures. Example: Man Ray: A man in love with a woman from a different era. I see a photograph! Luis Buρuel: I see a film! Gil: I see insurmountable problems! Salvador Dalν: I see rhinoceros! The Hemingway introduction is no exception. Allen boils it down to the essence of how a lot of people think of Hemingway and his style of writing, and it most likely reflects Gil's perception of Hemingway as well.

The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985) Cecilia: I just met a wonderful new man. He's fictional but you can't have everything. No clip for this, sorry, but here's the trailer with the line in it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bp6YDZVVbj0

Sweet and Lowdown (1999) Emmet Ray: This is my one day off, I want a talking girl. No clip for this either, but here's the scene that comes right after that line is spoken: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiW60jAZxDc Emmet and his friend pick up two girls on the boardwalk and Emmet gets stuck with mute Hattie. The dialogue between Emmet and Hattie is great and Samantha Morton does her part with no words - only facial expressions and body language. I couldn't find the screenplay online but I'd love to see how this was written in the script. Another example from later in the film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlKpXFnwOSA

I should add, and in doing so, Allen created introductions that were really funny and memorable.

I had to look up if Woody Allen really did invent this word-it's been such a part of my life. A sign of great dialogue I guess when it becomes ingrained in you. Lurve. From Annie Hall. Alvy Singer: Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes I have to invent, of course I - I do, don't you think I do? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Ir153t7Eg&feature=related

Thanks to a kind GITS regular I got a hold of the script. Here's the full scene that corresponds to that first YouTube video: EXT. BOARDWALK SETTING – DAY Shot of Emmet momentarily in private moment with Bill. EMMET Thanks for sticking me with a dummy. BILL You wanted her. EMMET Then I changed my mind. BILL She seems like a nice girl. EMMET How can she seem anything? She don't talk. This is my day off. I want a talking girl. BILL I think she is a little bit of a half wit. EMMET What do you mean? BILL Grace says she's not all there in the head. EMMET Oh that's great – a man like me who's got ideas. Now the girls have returned. GRACIE It's so nice out. Let's walk out on the pier. EXT. PIER – DAY SHOT OF GRACE AND BILL WALKING Emmet sits, unable to hide annoyance over his plight. EMMET (to Hattie) Er... you hungry at all? She shrugs. EMMET (cont'd) Is that a yes or a no? She nods EMMET (cont'd) Me too... Hattie tries to tell him something in pantomime which he cannot grasp. EMMET What? … Huh? … You what? … I don't know what you're carrying on about. Finally she takes out a pad and pencil and writes it. Hands it to him. Emmet can't really read it too well. EMMET I can't read this – this is like a Chinaman – what do you want? She looks despairingly EMMET (cont'd) You know how to write? So-so EMMET (cont'd) Did you go to school? So-so EMMET (cont'd) What is that, yes or a no? You probably got some hard luck story. You an orphan? Doesn't know EMMET (cont'd) You don't know? This is great – a god damn mute orphan – half wit – I get all the winners – Were you born this way or someone drop you on your head or what? Bill comes over BILL C'mon, they didn't have lunch. Let's get some clams. EMMET Can't we switch for a while? BILL No. EMMET (to Hattie) What are you looking at me like that? Because I wanted to switch? How'd you lose your voice? Look at this – I'm asking her, she can't talk... my one free day. There is a tear formed in her eye. EMMET (cont'd) Oh for Chrissake – what's the matter? What'd I do... Come on, willya – Hattie? – I don't mind... Did I say I minded? Have I been extremely cordial? … Christ a lot of guys – they get stuck with a dummy they'd run like bandits... I'm making the best of it... C'mon, you wanna see a trick? (does coin trick, she smiles) I betcha I can eat more clams than you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiW60jAZxDc