Sounds like an interesting idea for a sci-fi novel but it doesn't feel like a movie to me. A road picture and detective story, okay, they're both solid choices, but he didn't pitch any stakes for the main characters, or really tell us who the main character is. I'm guessing that it's the guy looking for his Dad, but it wasn't clear. Most popular films are comprised of two or more stories, but there needs to be a compelling and urgent goal that drives the main character. I didn't get that here. The big reveal at the end is that humans are the alien invaders of another planet/universe/dimension. And on top of that, we've been watching stories that are happening in separate dimensions. How is that satisfying for a movie audience? A guy spends an entire film looking for his Dad and when he finds him he also discovers that we're the bad guys. The characters felt like place holders. It lacked emotion and warmth. The whole pitch was about the cool sci-fi idea, and nothing about the characters. Interesting idea. Pass! What else do you have?

My take? Not a bad pitch, but he buries the premise. The premise is that the two different stories take place in parallel universes that are invading each other. He doesn't tell us that until 1:40 into the pitch. I was really wavering on it until that point. I think it should be right up front in the first few sentences. Then he can spend the rest of the time giving us some actual information about the characters and their arcs.

Great energy. He's the type of guy you want pitching for you. The type of guy that could sell igloos to Eskimos. He buried the lead, big time. At the end of all of that I don't know: 1) What the story is really about? 2) How the two sets of people are actually connected? 3) Why we should care? 4) Who are we rooting for? Who is the protagonist(s)? 5) What is the conflict? 6) What genre is this -- beside the obvious SciFi? Probably better explained as TONE. What is the tone? There's too much basic "how the story works" missing from the pitch. Look, I get the gist of what you're trying to say. I don't know why you're teasing it with the most uninteresting parts of the story--how the story is told, rather than what the story is. At the end, I still have an ASSLOAD of questions. *) Is it humans invading an alternate version of Earth? Or another planet? The way you describe it makes it sound like an "alien" invasion, so I'm thinking planets. But I am not following how, we, the audience would be confused that these two separate sets of people are living on totally separate planets. Unless, it was two identical alternate universes, and one universe is invading the other. But you don't really explain that. Don't take this as a harsh review. Your pitch style is phenomenal. Your problem is going to occur when you run into someone with a good bullshit detector (which many great Hollywood producers have, by necessity). They'll just say, "Look, kid. You can't tell me what the story is about, what're ya doing here wasting my time?" Don't try to dazzle people with your pitch. Tell them the story! 1) Who it is about. 2) What happens (in terms we can follow) 3) Why should we care? The story is about two guys who think they've stumbled onto an alien invasion that discover they are really the invaders? To me, this sounds sorta like what you were trying to pitch -- but I can't understand how it works in any logical sense. One group of human-looking people discover another group of human-looking people invading their planet? But you like the idea that "we" are the invaders? It seems to me that you have two ideas that are mutually exclusive. I just... don't see a story here -- yet.

Though I agree with what has been said above, I absolutely love the way that it is presented with such enthusiasm and excitement. Such great energy, and I really enjoyed the little character images.

One word: FRINGE