"Ointment. / I need...ointment." wouldn't have been half as funny. "Antiobiotic cream" wouldn't have been funny at all. "Unguent" is a stroke of comic genius. I know you've posted this for the scene description but I LOVE this line of dialogue.

... where the humor in the scene arises not from a comic tone in the scene description, but rather through the actions of the characters themselves. Thank you for that explanation. It makes me feel a bit better about my own writing which tend to be on the dry side and very much in the "just the facts" style. I always worry that I don't write with enough flair. But if the Coens write that way and Charlie Kaufman too, then I guess I'm in good company.