Ice cream is never silly. Maybe it is about ice cream, maybe it's about something more sinister like drugs or surveillance. In a crime ridden neighbourhood, a pair of dopey cops go undercover in an ice cream van, the perfect surveillance vehicle, but turns out the biggest bad ass of them all in town is THE ICE CREAM MAN. Everyone fears him and he runs his cartel from his tinkling truck. But he also does a mean strawberry sundae.

Nice idea TQA. Scott, this is bonkers enough to make a brilliant comedy in the vein you describe (Full Monty etc). I like the sheer madness of two ice cream men so passionate about their ice cream that they go to war over it. But how about a hook that the rival ice cream seller is Mr. Whippy's ex-wife, hell-bent on revenge after he has an affair with her best friend? She will stop at nothing to undermine his business. No flavor is too hard to find, no combination too crazy as she seeks to dismantle his livelihood, one double chocolate chip wafer at a time. I have fond memories of our ice cream man. He was the grumpiest man in the county; always (ALWAYS) in a bad mood. It wasn't until years later that I worked out why. As kids, we didn't have much money and we used to try to pay him for ice cream cones with pebbles and stones. (I know, heartbreaking right?)As each child lined up to get ice cream, the poor man approached apoplexy when handed a small pebble or bottle cap. Which just goes to prove one thing: children are idiots 67% of the time.

something to the tune of Dumb 'n Dumber... perhaps starring Will Ferrell and Rob Corrdry... or maybe something Wes Anderson-inspired... or old school Baz Luhrmann... with plenty of angry singing and snapping a la West Side Story... and a battle royale on an ice cream ferris wheel... aahhhh the theatrical fireworks that would set the film world ablaze. good times.

And then there were the Glasgow "Ice Cream Wars", a territorial beef made worse by the fact that the ice cream men were selling stolen goods and drugs out of the back of the vans. Shotgun attacks on rivals eventually escalated to an arson attack that killed six people... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_Ice_Cream_Wars Ice Cream can be a pretty serious business...

When absurd fiction becomes fact, it's an automatic hook (We bought a Zoo) and this one is no different. I think it's even more enticing that the two men are not two white English men but Pakistani Englishmen showing diversity in the story. Apparently there are two reasons for these turf wars--1.) They only get 15 minutes per street then have to move on to the next location. 2.) In the UK each ice cream vendor is a cash-only business. A perfect cover to sell more than just ice cream because warm weather is scarce. Based on a true story--Mayhem ensues after two, mild-mannered ice cream vendors from neighboring towns become competitors when unforeseen circumstances threaten their perspective businesses. I think it sells itself honestly. The plot would be time constraint thanks to the law, and good ol Mother Nature. How could a viewer not react to this emotionally with all the human elements added to it? A dark comedy (I love you to death) most definitely with a twist.

Oh, such nefarious things could be lurking beneath the facade of the ice cream. Bwahahaha. Like Coca-Cola's Formula X7 (turned out to be fat and very addictive). Our two ice cream truck turf fighters could be battling it out for the secret formula of an uber-creamy, uber-smooth delight. Only one can win. It opens with the mad Secret Formula guys watching the wars on screens with cameras planted all over the turf. They want only the best distributor to have the formula because there are other territories to conquer and they're building their gang. The theme is how hard will people fight for control of something so dangerous. The Mad Scientists are driven to this nonsense because they work for a corporation like 3M and have already had their formulas for Post-It-type glue taken by the corporation, and now they want something of their own. It's glue, dontcha know, that makes the ice cream so creamy. It opens with them at their tedious jobs in a corporate laboratory and sweating under the demands to come up with a new product. Ah, but they have a backroom they've pilfered for their own uses and a tune goes off that alerts them to turf wars for the winner of their secret formula (and their future fortunes), and they crawl through a hole in the wall to watch. This is tough :-)

And this formed the basis for the Bill Forsyth film “Comfort and Joy“. Interesting trivia : Bill says he was so naieve about the true nature of this ice cream war that he simply didn't touch on the more serious elements. Still an interesting film from an interesting writer/director.

The ice cream wars has been done! - and in the British vein (up North though)! Not a film I'll grant, but v. funny, great little story and great characters (Peter Kay plays multiple parts) hope you like it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf_mPKzNGzQ

I'd like to add some inspiration... There is an intersection in LA that I drive through on occasion. On two of the corners directly across from each other are taco trucks; one is a simple truck with a window and a menu and a few customers. The other, seriously, has flashing lights, a marquee, a FIRE PIT - I kid you not - and roasted meat on spikes where a couple of dudes are slicing it off slamming it into tortillas. The truck has a large awning and big speakers on top playing festive polka beats and there is always a crowd even in the rain. They are always there and I find myself sitting at the light wondering how the simple dude does it and why does it continue to show up to that corner?

oooooh! that is really interesting. i'm obsessed with sitting at that light now, wherever it is.