Oh man I love this response, Scott. "This shows how off-base it is to bring ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ into a discussion of script format and style." -- This is why GITS is the place to be.

Moderate tangent: I've seen this a couple of times, where you suggest that each paragraph represents a shot. Is that a general rule of thumb that people use to break up lines or is it merely an observation?

Scott, I think Alan's question is a great one, as is your response. "Tell the story you need to tell in the best, most entertaining way possible. That’s the ideal!" Yet, apparently this absurd issue is quite real - at least to some of our gatekeepers/readers. "White space." "Your script has no white space. It needs more white space." Having studied this a bit, I have a hunch how it came to be. It seems there's a tendency for all of us, as we begin, to write action as if we are writing a short story. "Joe enters the pizzeria. He's thinking about the last time he had pizza here. And that he really prefers the pizza at this other place down the street. And in high school, how much he liked to hang out there with his buddies. Of course, most of them have moved away. Anyway, he orders a meat-lover's special." Or... "Joe unlocks his front door, puts his keys in his pocket, then enters his house. He flips the light switch, all the lights come on, and he works his way to the kitchen. He opens the refrigerator door, takes out a beer, closes the door, opens his beer, then takes a few sips. The phone rings, he walks over to it, picks it up. JOE Hello?" And thus was inspired the plaintive cry of the reader, "More White Space!" Which - Gee! - we newbies actually take to mean, "More white space." As if a lack of white space, itself, is bad - rather than simply being a mere indicator that perhaps there's a problem here. And in the above examples, there is a problem. But in the Bourne script, there isn't one. (And I love that it reads, "And BOURNE and MARIE are running.") In my examples, the obvious problem is the inclusion of items that are unimportant, unnecessary and/or unfilmable. And if that actual problem were solved, one ancillary result would be more white space. But having someone tell us the problem is, "You need more white space" is as helpful as the first time you hear, "May the force me with you." Uh, OK. Sure. As for the Bourne script, I think it's worth noting all of the dashes within the action. The writer isn't giving the reader lots of white space, but is pre-cutting his/her meat. Looking at my own writing and scripts by others, I've noticed that there are tricks to make an action-heavy page look less "dense". Those dashes help. And the usual suggestion: Short paragraphs (but not necessarily always). But also, try to make the last line of the paragraph a half-line or less. That is, "orphans" can be good. Also, I like how some writers use parentheticals for action. (Especially a good thing to do if you fear the notorious Hollywood Reader who doesn't read action at all, but just reads down the center of the page - i.e., dialogue only.) The "It's Complicated" script does that well, I think. Also, mini-slugs and call-outs in the formatting can help, as in the 48 Hours example: TRAIN AREA TUNNEL CATES As a substantive matter, such things should be unnecessary BS, but the mere LOOK of a page does have a subliminal impact (at least with the initial pages), so for those of us who are not yet established, this may well be necessary BS.

Thanks for the response. You're right, No, Other Ira, I had that question because I had read so many times about the need for white space in the script. I've written a couple of first drafts and in both cases came short of the ideal number of pages, and I think it might be because I was trying so hard to avoid describing the action. I'll take Scott's advice to read more action scripts and see just how much detail to put in, and how much space it should take up.

If the writing flows and keeps you in the moment, it is not a huge deal how you break up the paragraphs. Sometimes a page of two line paragraphs are as difficult to read as a block of text. MINISLUGS can help visually on the page. But seriously, read the examples above. The writing is very minimalistic, despite being longer paragraphs and they keep you in the tension/mood of the scene. James Cameron is a pretty good example of longer action text without hindering the read. "I’m reading the script for ‘Clash of the Titans’ and there is much more action lines than I’ve been told is ideal." This statement hits on a pet peeve of mine. You're simply going to have to write, to put in the time, to figure out what works for you. Figure out what is ideal for YOUR writing. You need to learn to be objective of your own writing -- does it work? Is this paragraph necessary? Is it creating the mood, tension, drama I want from the scene? If not, what is it doing (if anything)? Trust me when I say, no one cares if your paragraphs are 2 lines or you write an entire sequence with zero dialogue, if they are turning the pages ignoring the phone calls they're supposed to be answering because you've trapped their imaginations in your story. (And I hear the arguments now -- but for every person who has a pet peeve about reading pages with no dialogue, there are an equal number of readers that admire the ability to tell a story visually. Who you get to read is always a crapshoot. So do what works for you!) What is "ideal" for your writing is most likely specific to your writing. That's something you gotta discover through the process of writing. P.S. Walls of text are frustrating when the story in uninteresting for the reader. I don't understand why the first instinct is to change the way the walls of text look, rather than the content held within.