I watched Drive and read the script quite close together, and one thing that stood out was how much dialogue was actually cut in favor of long stares and unspoken chemistry etc... there's an entire dialogue exchange between Driver and Irene in her apartment. It was quite dull, actually, but in the movie scene they don't say a whole lot at all. It was definitely an aha moment for me. the scene with the cut dialogue 'said' so much more. Although, unless I read an early draft, I figure this was director choice, in which case it wasn't ever written (rewritten) that way.

I have a scene where a character is standing on a soapbox in a park giving a sermon, and what I'd like to do is just have an almost random set of shots (director's choice) showing, maybe from different angles, both him and the audience while he delivers his words in a voice over. Do I need to specify specific shots, or can I just do: A random series of shots showing MR X SPEAKING and PEOPLE LISTENING to him, including Ms A, Mr B, Dr C... MR X (V.O.) Blah, more blah, etc...

You've raised a question that regularly puzzles me: Assume you are writing Drive and you envision the scene as it ultimately was rendered in the film - with no dialogue. Do you still write the scene with some dialogue because it works better that way for the reader? In other words, if the completed film is a building and the script is part of the process of creating the building, do you include braces and temporary supports in the script while hoping they won't be in the finished product?

I've wondered that, too. In the same way I include OTN dialogue in my outlining, then convert it to something more sub-textual in the first (or second) draft. Just helps me to know exactly what the scene is about.

> So what to do? Two things: (1) Make something sharp and specific happen in each beat. Provide some punch, something with a point to it, not just generic. (2) Give the entire montage a beginning, middle and end. In effect, you are telling a story, albeit a little one, but it should have a narrative flow to it Very helpful on montages. Thank you. I have a question on the excerpt of Drive: > "Suddenly he notices something out of the corner of his eye." I've had editors take me to task (with a big stick) over using "suddenly" and "notices" in other forms of fiction. What's the verdict in screenwriting? And how do you feel about them?

Personally I loathe "suddenly." Build to the surprise in SD, then describe the action.But that's just my taste.

I use the current stylistic pattern of breaking up paragraphs into single lines/a couple of lines. I think it looks better and is easier to read. There is a downside in that a script will tend to be longer (I've found by about ten pages give or take). So it's an issue. A script with single lines of description may actually run to 120 pages. Whereas a script with longer chunks of action may come in at 110 pages. I know which one I'd prefer to read but it's a concern when sending scripts off that the longer page count will irritate readers. I know the solution is to keep cutting until one reaches the desired page length, even with single-spaced description, but there is only so much you can cut before you start to lose the essence of the script, especially if the plot is complex. Does anyone else see this as an issue?