Summer Johnson at 2012-06-02 20:19:00:

Here's another great one from: When Harry Met Sally- Screenplay by Nora Ephron Favorite line: "And I'm going to be 40!" I still think about that line all them time. Used to sound so old. Now I feel like Sally! It's looming... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnierMA90D4&feature=related Sally: He just met her... She's supposed to be his transitional person, she's not supposed to be the ONE. All this time I thought he didn't want to get married. But, the truth is, he didn't want to marry me. He didn't love me. Harry: If you could take him back now, would you? Sally: No. But why didn't he want to marry me? What's the matter with me? Harry: Nothing. Sally: I'm difficult. Harry: You're challenging. Sally: I'm too structured, I'm completely closed off. Harry: But in a good way. Sally: No, no, no, I drove him away. AND, I'm gonna be forty. Harry: When? Sally: Someday. Harry: In eight years. Sally: But it's there. It's just sitting there, like some big dead end. And it's not the same for men. Charlie Chaplin had kids when he was 73. Harry: Yeah, but he was too old to pick them up.

Traci Nell Peterson at 2012-06-02 21:14:12:

The Holiday by Nancy Meyers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lryug3Mlv7Q Arthur lt was better. You know what l've been asking myself all night? Iris What? Why l'm bothering you with all these questions? Arthur l'm wondering why a beautiful girl like you......would go to a stranger's house for her Christmas vacation......and on top of that, spend Saturday night with an old cocker like me. Iris Well, l…..l just wanted to get away from the people l see all the time. Well, not all the people. One person. l wanted to get away from one guy. An ex-boyfriend who just got engaged and forgot to tell me. Sorry. Arthur So he's a schmuck. Iris As a matter of fact, he is. A huge schmuck. How did you know? Arthur He let you go. This is not a hard one to figure out. lris, in the movies we have leading ladies......and we have the best friend. You, l can tell, are a leading lady. But for some reason, you're behaving like the best friend. Iris You're so right. You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for God's sake. Arthur, l've been going to a therapist for three years. And she's never explained anything to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant. Thank you.

Teri Brown at 2012-06-02 23:04:43:

My favorite pity party scene is from BRIDESMAIDS: INT. JUDY’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Annie sits on the couch waiting Castaway. It’s the tearjerking scene when Wilson the volleyball is floating away from Tom Hanks. He’s losing his friend. Annie is sobbing. The DOORBELL rings. Annie opens the door. MEGAN is standing there with 7 PUPPIES from Helen’s shower on leashes. MEGAN I’m coming in. Megan barges into the house with the dogs leading the way. MEGAN (CONT’D) Heel. Heel. Heel. Heel. Heel. Heel. INT. ANNIE'S MOM'S LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER. Megan puts the dogs on the porch then closes the door. Then she sits on the couch with Annie. MEGAN Heel. Heel. ANNIE How many did you take? MEGAN Oh. Uh, I took nine. I overcommitted with this whole dog thing. I’d probably be more comfortable with six. It’s a lot of energy to deal with. But you wouldn't know that because you haven't been returning my calls. 90. ANNIE And say what? Hi, I can’t get off the couch. I got fired from my job, I got kicked out of my apartment, I can’t pay any of my bills, my car is a piece of shit, I don’t have any friends -- Megan stands up and starts pacing then gets in Annie’s face. MEGAN You know what I find interesting about that Annie? It’s interesting to me that you have absolutely no friends. Do you know why that’s interesting? Here’s a friend standing directly in front of you trying to talk to you and you choose to talk about having no friends. ANNIE You know what I mean. MEGAN You know what I think? She pokes Annie. Then continues to prod and push her as she talks. MEGAN (CONT’D) You don't want help. You want a pity party. ANNIE No, I don't. Stop it. MEGAN You're an asshole Annie. Megan shoves Annie. ANNIE Ow. What are you doing? MEGAN What? Am I bothering you? I’m life. Life bothering you? Life's hard, huh? Life can push you around. I'm your life. You’re gonna let life bite you on the ass? Then Megan sits on top of Annie and holds her arms. 91. MEGAN (CONT’D) I’m trying to get you to fight for your shitty life and you won’t do it. I’m your shitty life Annie. Annie SMACKS Megan hard in the face. ANNIE Oh my god, I’m sorry. Megan looks like she might get mad, but then she smiles. MEGAN I’m not. Nice hit. I’m glad to see you’ve got a little bit of spark in you. I knew that Annie was in there somewhere. (then) I think you’re ready to hear a little story about a girl named Megan who didn’t have a very good time in high school. I’m referring to myself when I say Megan, it’s me Megan. I know you look at me now and think, boy she must have breezed through high school. Not the case Annie. This was not easy going up and down the halls with. They used to try to blow me up. People used to throw firecrackers on my head in high school. Firecrackers, literally, not figuratively. They called me a freak. Do you think I let that stop me? Do you think I went home crying to my mommy, "Oh, I don't have any friends." I did not. You know what I did? I pulled myself up, I studied hard, I read every book in the library and now I work for the government and have the highest possible security clearance. Don’t repeat that. I cannot protect you. I know where all the nukes are and I know the codes. ANNIE I won’t say anything. MEGAN You would be amazed, a lot of shopping malls. Don’t repeat that. 92. ANNIE I won’t. MEGAN I have six houses. I bought an eighteen wheeler just cause I could. You lost Lillian. You got another best friend sitting right in front of you if you’d notice. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. I do not associate with people that blame the world for their problems cause you’re your problem Annie, and you’re also your solution. You get that? This hits Annie. Annie's speechless. Megan exhales, winded. ANNIE Yes. I just miss her I guess. MEGAN I know you do, I know you do. Come on, bring it in. They hug. MEGAN (CONT’D) There’s the Annie I knew was there. (smelling her hair) Oh Annie, wash your hair. You’ve got to wash your hair.

Jeff Messerman at 2012-06-02 23:25:24:

This is more of an anecdotal pity party but, um, it certainly has a, um, powerful punchline. When I say the theme for this week, I was shocked to find I'm the first to toss out a Woody Allen bit. He has a black belt in simpering self-pity! This is from the awfully maligned, seriously misunderstood, and tragically unpopular ANYTHING ELSE from 2003. Worth giving another look - - some terrific writing contained within. David Dobel: I broke up with this girl, and they put me with a psychiatrist who said, "Why did you get so depressed, and do all those things you did?" I said, "I wanted this girl and she left me." And he said, "Well, we have to look into that." And I said, "There's nothing to look into. I wanted her and she left me." And he said, "Well, why are you feeling so intense?" And I said, "Cause I want the girl." And he said, "What's underneath it?" And I said, "Nothing." He said, "I'll have to give you medication." I said, "I don't want medication. I want the girl." And he said, "We have to work this through." So, at that point, I took a fire extinguisher from the casement and struck him across the back of his neck. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgsigkySWKo

plinytheelder_t at 2012-06-03 00:36:23:

Not sure this counts as a pity party, but as a moment of self doubt... Empire Strikes Back (1980): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3ScAq-l1dc EXT. DAGOBAH - BOG - DAY Luke's face is upside-down and showing enormous strain. He stands on his hands, with Yoda perched on his feet. Opposite Luke and Yoda are two rocks the size of bowling balls. Luke stares at the rocks and concentrates. One of the rocks lifts from the ground and floats up to rest on the other. YODA Use the Force. Yes... Yoda taps Luke's leg. Quickly, Luke lifts one hand from the ground. His body wavers, but he maintains his balance. Artoo, standing nearby, is whistling and beeping frantically. YODA Now... the stone. Feel it. Luke concentrates on trying to lift the top rock. It rises a few feet, shaking under the strain. But, distracted by Artoo's frantic beeping, Luke loses his balance and finally collapses. Yoda jumps clear. YODA Concentrate! Annoyed at the disturbance, Luke looks over at Artoo, who is rocking urgently back and forth in front of him. Artoo waddles closer to Luke, chirping wildly, then scoots over the edge of the swamp. Catching on, Luke rushes to the water's edge. The X-wing fighter has sunk, and only the tip of its nose shows above the lake's surface. LUKE Oh, no. We'll never get it out now. Yoda stamps his foot in irritation. YODA So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say? Luke looks uncertainly out at the ship. LUKE Master, moving stones around is one thing. This is totally different. YODA No! No different! Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned. LUKE (focusing, quietly) All right, I'll give it a try. YODA No! Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try. Luke closes his eyes and concentrates on thinking the ship out. Slowly, the X-wing's nose begins to rise above the water. It hovers for a moment and then slides back, disappearing once again. LUKE (panting heavily) I can't. It's too big. YODA Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hm? Mmmm. Luke shakes his head. YODA And well you should not. For my ally in the Force. And a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we... (Yoda pinches Luke's shoulder) ... not this crude matter. (a sweeping gesture) You must feel the Force around you. (gesturing) Here, between you... me... the tree... the rock... everywhere! Yes, even between this land and that ship! LUKE (discouraged) You want the impossible. Quietly Yoda turns toward the X-wing fighter. With his eyes closed and his head bowed, he raises his arm and points at the ship. Soon, the fighter rises above the water and moves forward as Artoo beeps in terror and scoots away. The entire X-wing moves majestically, surely, toward the shore. Yoda stands on a tree root and guides the fighter carefully down toward the beach. Luke stares in astonishment as the fighter settles down onto the shore. He walks toward Yoda. LUKE I don't... I don't believe it. YODA That is why you fail. Luke shakes his head, bewildered.

DJ Holloway at 2012-06-03 02:27:48:

Jerry Maguire: What are you doing with me, Rod? Rod Tidwell: Why? Jerry Maguire: I'm finished, I'm fucked. Twenty-four hours ago, man, I was hot! Now... I'm a cautionary tale. You see this jacket I'm wearing, you like it? Because I don't really need it. Because I'm cloaked in failure! I lost the number one draft picked the night before the draft! Why? Let's recap: Because a hockey player's kid made me feel like a superficial jerk. I ate two slices of bad pizza, went to bed and grew a conscience! Rod Tidwell: Well, boo-fucking-hoo Love it because it represented how much of a foil Rod is to Jerry, even as he is a motivator. Also the trust Tom Cruise gave to Crowe and Cuba to allow his most dramatic, powerful stuff be tossed aside for the sake of a more fulfilling relationship.

SabinaGiado at 2012-06-03 03:14:25:

A two-pronged pity party: My Cousin Vinny Vinny Gambini: What's the matter with you? Lisa: I don't know. Vinny Gambini: You're acting like you're nervous or something. Lisa: Well, yeah. I am. Vinny Gambini: What are you nervous about? I'm the one that's under the gun here. Trial starts tomorrow. Lisa: You wanna know what I'm nervous about? I'll tell you what I'm nervous about! I am in the dark here with all this legal crap. I have no idea what's going on. All I know is that you're screwing up and I can't help. Vinny Gambini: You left me a little camera, didn't you? Lisa: Oh, Vinny! I'm watching you go down in flames, and you're bringing me with you and I can't do anything about it! Vinny Gambini: And? Lisa: Well I hate to bring it up because I know you've got enough pressure on you already. But, we agreed to get married as soon as you won your first case. Meanwhile, TEN YEARS LATER, my niece, the daughter of my sister is getting married. My biological clock is [taps her foot] Lisa: TICKING LIKE THIS and the way this case is going, I ain't never getting married. Vinny Gambini: Lisa, I don't need this. I swear to God, I do not need this right now, okay? I've got a judge that's just aching to throw me in jail. An idiot who wants to fight me for two hundred dollars. Slaughtered pigs. Giant loud whistles. I ain't slept in five days. I got no money, a dress code problem, AND a little murder case which, in the balance, holds the lives of two innocent kids. Not to mention your [taps his foot] Vinny Gambini: BIOLOGICAL CLOCK - my career, your life, our marriage, and let me see, what else can we pile on? Is there any more SHIT we can pile on to the top of the outcome of this case? Is it possible? Lisa: [pause] Maybe it was a bad time to bring it up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71k5ArWpiZg

JasperLamarCrab at 2012-06-03 10:35:16:

BAD SANTA (2003) directed by Terry Zwigoff Glenn Ficarra (written by) & John Requa (written by) uncredited: Ethan Coen, Joel Coen, Terry Zwigoff WILLIE: I've been to prison once. I've been married twice. I was once drafted by Lyndon Johnson and had to live in shit-ass Mexico for two and a half years for no reason. I've had my eye socket punched in, a kidney taken out, and I got a bone chip in my ankle that's never gonna heal. I've seen some pretty shitty situations in my life. But nothing has ever sucked more ass than this. If I'd known I was gonna have to put up with screaming brats pissing on my lap for 30 days out of the year, I would have killed myself a long time ago. Come to think of it, I still might. Where I come from, we didn't celebrate Christmas. Not because we were Jewish, but because my dad was a worthless-coward fucking asshole whose idea of a present was a daily punch to the back of the head. He did teach me how to crack a safe, though. My dad never did shit with his life, so he took it out on me. You could say I'm no different. I'd have to say you were right. But at this point, it's too late to start over. Funny how things work out. It's fucking hilarious. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wx0B61X-aFE

davideng at 2012-06-03 16:06:11:

My favorite pity party scene is the ending of the Academy Award-nominated script for The Dresser (1983), adapted by Ron Harwood from his play. I can't find the clip or screenplay online but I can describe it from what I remember. Norman (played by Tom Courtenay) is asked by "Sir" (Albert Finney) to read from his memoir which he just started writing. Norman goes through a long thank-you list and comes to with the one Sir would like to thank most of all at the bottom of the page. Norman is grateful for the recognition as he turns the page, only to find the special thank you is not for him but "William Shakespeare." He is hurt and then angered but as he lashes out, he finds that Sir has died. He runs and screams for help and a woman arrives (Her Ladyship?) and finds Sir dead and Norman full of rage. She leaves unnoticed as he angrily adds his name to the book's dedication. He says to her "You think you loved him. What about me?" He puts his head on Sir's chest and sings the song by Lear's fool, "When that I had and a little tiny wit / with a hey ho, the wind and the rain?."

Annika Wood at 2012-06-03 16:13:13:

I noticed a lot of these were from comedies or dramadies, so here's two from another genre. Both are short, which fits the genre -- action. (I guess there's just no time for massive, dialogue-driven pity parties when things are trying to kill you!) 1. Sarah Connor's "Mother of the Future" speech from The Terminator. Sarah Connor: Are you sure you have the right person? Kyle Reese: I'm sure. Sarah Connor: Oh, come on. Do I look like the mother of the future? I mean am I tough, organized? I can't even balance my checkbook. Look Reese, I didn't ask for this honor and I don't WANT IT, ANY OF IT! I couldn't find it on the internet, but here's a dream-sequence pity party that was cut from T2, also between Kyle and Sarah: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wLY17eoT7Y&feature=related 2. Hudson's break down in Aliens Hudson: Game over, man!Hudson: That's it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do? Burke: Maybe we could build a fire, sing a couple of songs, huh? Why don't we try that? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsx2vdn7gpY

plinytheelder_t at 2012-06-03 16:45:59:

Can't believe I forgot this one. The Godfather (1972): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niP-uHBg-pU Johnny Fontane: [discussing his problems] I don’t know what to do, Godfather. My voice is weak, it’s weak. Anyway, if I had this part in the picture, it puts me right back on top, you know. But this… this man out there. He won’t give it to me, the head of the studio. Don Corleone: What’s his name? Johnny Fontane: Woltz. He said there’s no chance, no chance… [Meanwhile, Hagen finds Sonny and summons him] Johnny Fontane: A month ago he bought the rights to this book, a best seller. The main character is a guy just like me. I wouldn’t even have to act, just be myself. Oh, Godfather, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to do… [All of a sudden, Don Corleone rises from his chair and gives Fontane a savage shake] Don Corleone: YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN! [gives a quick slap to Fontane] Don Corleone: What’s the matter with you? Is this what you’ve become, a Hollywood finocchio who cries like a woman? “Oh, what do I do? What do I do?” What is that nonsense? Ridiculous! [the Don's unexpected mimicry makes Hagen and even Fontane laugh; around this time Sonny comes in] Don Corleone: Tell me, do you spend time with your family? Johnny Fontane: Sure I do. Don Corleone: Good. Because a man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man. [gives a quick look at Sonny and affectionately embraces Fontane] Don Corleone: You look terrible. I want you to eat, I want you to rest well. And a month from now this Hollywood big shot’s gonna give you what you want. Johnny Fontane: Too late. They start shooting in a week. Don Corleone: I’m gonna make him an offer he won’t refuse. Okay? I want you to leave it all to me. Go on, go back to the party. [a gratified Fontane leaves]

Annika Wood at 2012-06-03 17:15:58:

This is a great DD topic, and one that speaks to screenplay structure. Two things jumped out at me when reading all of these pity party scenes back to back: they all happen deep into the story (usually near the second act turning point) and they're not just characters feeling bad for themselves -- they're characters telling the brutal truth -- truth that has to be faced before the next steps (the preparation for the final battle and the final battle itself) can take place. Scott, I remember you posted some Martin Seligman-related stuff a while ago. (Seligman is the psych professor behind the Positive Psychology program at U. Penn.) I was a big fan of his for a while. In his book, Authentic Happiness, Seligman's main point is that we all have an "optimism range". Some of us are just naturally more optimistic than others, but we call all live at the top of our range. There are tricks that everyone can crib from die-hard optimists to do that. The sum of these tricks is this, "Finding permanent and universal causes of good events along with temporary and specific causes for misfortune is the art of hope..." An example of this would be a dieter who goes on a key-lime pie bender one day. If the person's optimistic, they'll tell themselves something along the lines of, "It wasn't my fault. It was the neighbor's. He shouldn't have brought over that dang delicious-looking pie in the first place. And besides, it was just one day. I'll bounce back tomorrow." If that same optimistic dieter does well the next day, they'll take all the credit for it, because it's their willpower and they're totally on top of things and this is how it's gonna be from here on out. Seligman does give a single gold-star to people who tend to be more pessimistic. Pessimists tend to be more in touch with reality. However, in his opinion, everyone's coloring their world to some extent, anyway, so you might as well color it in a way that totally serves you. I'm not for chronic pessimism, but there's such a thing as chronic optimism, too, and the problem with this way of thinking is that loss of reality. (It's why cock-eyed optimists, are so, well, cock-eyed.) In a nutshell, you create a world where it's always the other driver's fault, never yours, and that's just not healthy, because you can only trick yourself so much. Deep down, you still know that it was you who didn't look before changing lanes, even if you don't want to admit it. I believe we may crave happiness, but what we really need is the truth, and this is where the character arc comes in. All these pity party scenes are characters who've run from or denied or tried to change or plaster over the truth in one way or another having a come-to-Jesus moment... and every one of them is speaking the truth. Sarah Connor is not a survivalist. She's a twenty-year-old waitress. Vinnie isn't a top defense attorney. He's never won a case... and that's just the tip of his litany of problems. And Diane Keaton cries for a few weeks straight because no matter how well she gets along with Jack Nicholson, she's not a young hottie anymore and that's what, at that moment, he wants. So she cries... and she writes down the truth... and it's a smash, the best thing she's ever written. And that's the real trick to these pity parties -- where they fall structurally as well as thematically -- the character must acknowledge the truth, but it's not a universal truth, it's the truth of the moment. Everything they've ever done -- every mistake they've made, every mask they've worn, every false turn -- has gotten them into the mess they're in. But only by totally recognizing the truth -- the complete and total "it is what it is" of the situation -- can you accept it, and only by accepting it can you move on from it. This goes beyond Seligiman and into Eckhart Tolle, who doesn't teach happiness. He teaches enlightenment.

Lynelle White at 2012-06-04 23:57:53:

From Lars and the Real Girl In the scene, Lars is throwing a pity party because his "girlfriend" Bianca (who happens to be a life size doll) has made other plans for the evening. The script earned an Oscar nomination for Nancy Oliver in the Best Writing, Original Screenplay category. Lars Lindstrom: You don't care. Karin: We don't care? We do care! Lars Lindstrom: No you don't. Karin: That is just not true! God! Every person in this town bends over backward to make Bianca feel at home. Why do you think she has so many places to go and so much to do? Huh? Huh? Because of you! Because - all these people - love you! We push her wheelchair. We drive her to work. We drive her home. We wash her. We dress her. We get her up, and put her to bed. We carry her. And she is not petite, Lars. Bianca is a big, big girl! None of this is easy - for any of us - but we do it... Oh! We do it for you! So don't you dare tell me how we don't care. [walks into house and slams door] http://movieclips.com/caSJ-lars-and-the-real-girl-movie-we-do-it-for-you/