"Then smoldering fragments dwindle into infinity." That's pure poetry. What I notice is that the action lines describe nothing but - action! They don't describe what things look like, they describe what's happening. I didn't notice any similes or metaphors (no "the creature rises like the devil scorned"), just direct descriptions of the action. Also of note is that Ripley's emotion isn't written into the lines, which could be because we know the character by this point in the script, or it could because it's obvious to the reader what she (or we) would be feeling in those terrifying moments. Thanks for the post Scott! Alien is such a great script it hurts, like a alien bursting from your chest!

I think this haiku-like style works better in this scene than it did in the scene of Wall-E you posted, because this scene is pure action. The short, sharp sentences have pace and urgency. I agree with you that it's important to make sure that this style fits with your genre before you decide to use it, but I think the type of scene is important as well. I could imagine a Victorian battle written in this style, but not a Victorian courtship.