What a great scene! One of the biggest changes from script to scene is letting the singing entrance the guys into silence. Everett can't even get through his water lilies compliment in the scene. Can't comment when he drinks the XXX liquor and really these women just shut the (talky) guys up. Crafting a scene on paper is do different than being in a scene once it's shot. There are moments you want to hang on to and live in and it's hard to experience those moments on the page, or even know where they are sometimes. Here, it's really the atmosphere that is sketched on the page but doesn't come to life until we're in the scene.