If individuation -- the process of integrating the conscious with the unconscious, for the purpose of self-actualization -- is the goal of one's life, then one theme of Eternal Sunshine is to support that in a morality tale sort of way. In attempting to take the easy route to a semblance of psychological health -- erase memories of a failed romance -- Clementine and Joel discover they are still drawn toward each other. This suggests there is something deeper within their psyche than mental memories, perhaps memories of a more primordial nature -- emotions, passions, feelings. In the end, flawed though their relationship may be because to their own imperfect natures, Joel and Clementine end up together, willing to have another go at it, romantic warts and all.

Hey, where is everyone? OK, I'll give this a go, even though I struggle with themes. To me this is a battle between love and fate (destiny). Joel and Clem find this true love... they each have a hole in their life, a need - and they are opposites who fill in that missing part in one another. They NEED to be together. (The "love.") But first time around, they screw up. They end up focussing on the little stuff, the shit, and the whole relationship turns nasty and then falls apart. Which so many relationships do (the "fate" or "destiny", mistakes repeating). So I see it is kind of a comment on these two conflicting forces - the power of love, and the power of fate, of people just repeating patterns and ending up destroying things that should have been beautiful, of focussing on the meaningless, the ugly. And in this film, because of the whole "erasure" process which gives them a chance to start again, and also because of Mary's revelation which allows them to start with some knowledge of what happened before... they have a chance to kick destiny, to go in with full knowledge and to maybe let LOVE win this time. I don't know, what do you guys think?

Yes - because this is also echoed with Dr. M and Mary. They also were drawn to one another second time around, in spite of Mary having been erased.

"Those who do not remember history are condemned to repeat it." Maybe that's why Clem and Joel end up erasing each other so many times. They either have deep emotions or an emotional lacuna they need to satisfy or fill. That's why they meet over and over and start a relationship based on basic needs. However, when the problems start, FORMAT DISK! And by erasing their memories they don't learn anything from their experiences; thus, are condemned to repeat the same mistakes, relive the same disappointments... The "procedure" wasn't helpful for our lovers because they spent their lives repeating the same mistakes. Here's what they missed (from Good Will Hunting):

SEAN: Little things I do out of habit. People call these things imperfections Will. It' just who we are. And we get to choose who we're going to let into our own little worlds. You're not perfect. And let me save you the suspense, this girl you met isn't either. The question is, whether or not you're perfect for each other.

Another point: Memories are the theme of Eternal Sunshine. Memories and their role in our lives. Act II is a trip down the memory lane of Joel and all the things he discovers there. They remind him of who he is, what has shapes his character, his fears, enemies... And as he lets go of them, he forgets them all, his character doesn't evolve, he wakes the same person he was before meeting Clem. The skeletons' are back in the closet ready to pop out like a Jack-in-the-box at any inconvenient moment, over and over again.

Posed as a question, I saw the main theme being, Are you better off living a "comfy" life free from pain or an authentic life with all its ups and downs? I think that's what Joel is struggling with, though his "comfy" life is not all that comfy - it's gray and dull and he's about to settle for Naomi. But he doesn't realize that exactly. The broader idea that most resonated with me is that "you" have to find the courage to live your life to the fullest, not letting it get away from you or being afraid, owning who you are and letting that be what it is. Mentor Clem's main advice to Joel is to try - be brave and try. I was fascinated by all the color references in this script and it reminded me quite a bit of Pleasantville, where they wake up from the fake, b+w perfection into messy, colorful life. The light on the screen represents his memories; when it goes out at the end and the screen goes black, it's over. And of course there's Clem (nicknamed Tangerine) with her hair and her orange sweatshirt (the first thing he actually sees when she sits next to him at the bonfire); when Stan catches Mary and Dr. M, he remembers she's wearing red. And then of course, the gray train platform, where the only thing in color is the red Valentine's candy box. Along with that, where imagery suggests real, messy love=life, the story seemed to have a Romeo and Juliet-esque theme, that you can't stop true love or keep lovers apart. You can’t remove it or erase it, and you can’t replace or replicate it (like Patrick is trying to do). The only thing ultimately constant in this story is love. Having said all that, I remain perplexed by Joel's father's statement about fate - that you're sewn into your fate. When Joel says it, it seems so grim...and yet it ends up being true. It seems important but I don't know where it fits in.

To me the meaning of this film has always been that love is an equivalent of trauma. Just as people who have been through a trauma will reenact it unconsciously -- the "repetition compulsion" as Freud called it -- Joel and Clem will reenact their love, even though it deeply injured both of them, even though there's no evidence that they have internalized anything that will help them do it better the second time -- indeed, they've unlearned everything that might have pushed them to change.