pliny the elder at 2011-09-19 20:02:02:

My natural instinct would be to reduce the number of characters if possible, or at least the number of major characters. Even if you went from 7 to 6 or 5, that might make things more managable, especially with the lack of physical space in the setting you've chosen, and make it easier for the audience to follow. Thriller/action movies that have a similar setting such as The Rock, Executive Decision and Under Seige really focus on the core characters. Another trick, that you have to set up, but you might want to consider is the use of "code", where two characters are talking out in the open, and the antagonist think's they're saying one thing, but they're really saying another. Shouldn't be complicated, for example a word could refer to an earlier conversation between the two, and another word entirely.

Teddy Pasternak at 2011-09-19 21:05:51:

If you have multiple characters like that I would suggest that you group them together somewhat. That way you can play with each group dynamic a bit. I was thinking of the movie Identity earlier and this scenario reminded be about it. There you have 10 strangers stuck together at a motel during a storm; a cop and his prisoner, a pair of newlyweds, a husband and wife with a son, a washed-up actress with her limo driver, etc. They are all well-drawn characters, but they also each belong to a clearly defined sub-group. All the characters interact with each other but each group also has its own storyline.

mike at 2011-09-19 21:38:25:

Speaking of using every piece of location.. reminds me of a little tiny horror movie called Five Across the Eyes. Terrible production (i think shot on camcorders). The movie is basically the villain chasing a van full of girls after they committed a hit & run. But, the whole movie is set in that minivan the girls are in.. well, the camera never leaves the location. Sometimes the van stops, the villain pulls people out, the girls run into the woods, investigate stuff, but the camera stays within the van and it gives you the feeling that you are in the action. I know that's more of a production thing than writing, but the writing allowed that by keeping everything in, on or around the van that's getting chased. As I recall, they use just about every piece of that van, even in terms of using it to make weapons. But, I think that's what you have to do. You can't just shove a bunch of people in a room and make them sort everything out. You've got to pour on the same things that you'd pour on, if the movie wasn't limited to one location. Time pressure. Stakes. Near Death Experiences. Etc. Etc. And that's what makes a contained thriller fun.

Gabe at 2011-09-19 21:56:21:

See what happens if you give them all clearly defined backstories. You don't have to describe them in your script, but you should know them. These backstories will guide how you write their behaviors and dialogue. Also, perform this little exercise where you take two characters and make them bump into each other accidentally on a subway. How would they react? does one apologize, does one think the other did it on purpose? do they fight, do they make out? Then add other characters as observers and see how they react. Do they tend to side with a certain character? conversely, are they repulsed by the other character? Why? This will show you how these characters would naturally form mini-alliances at first. These allies might find ways to communicate without dialogue so that their respectives locations in your diner might not matter so much at first. Then take all your characters and put them in a sno-globe and shake it up. See what happens when they fall all over each other. A final suggestion - I haven't seen the movie in a long time, and it is a completely different genre, but The Breakfast Club might give an indication on how different characters react to each other in the early going.

Scott at 2011-09-20 01:09:42:

Gabe, I'm so glad you brought up The Breakfast Club because I had intended to note that as a great example of shifting the point of narrative attack. Hughes literally moves from one participant in the club to the next, pretty much sequence by sequence, where each is the focus of attention. I just saw the movie again a few months back and it still holds up. Hughes was a genius at making commercial movies.

Scott at 2011-09-20 01:13:43:

Mike, thanks for that movie reference. Your comment raises a good point, one of the things that appeals to filmmakers and even studios about contained thrillers: they are different than your typical movie. For the filmmakers including director, crew and actors, it creates some unique creative challenges. I believe Hitchcock made Rear Window precisely because he wanted to face those challenges of a contained thriller. From a studio standpoint, it makes for an interesting marketing hook, something to help distinguish the movie from the standard fare where the film can go anywhere the story wants. Buried is a good example. How many people went to that movie precisely in order to see how the hell the filmmakers could pull that off?

Debbie Moon at 2011-09-20 04:59:58:

Aren't time differences marvellous? I go to bed, I wake up, and all this excellent advice is waiting for me! Lots of great pointers here - I especially like the subway exercise, and the idea of using objects. Thanks also for all the film recommendations - haven't seen The Breakfast Club in years, this sounds like a good excuse! Plenty for me to go away and ruminate over, so a huge thanks to Scott, and to everyone who helped out in comments!

Mike at 2011-09-20 11:34:30:

From the physical perspective you could explore vices (smoking,snacking, cutting) etc.. I like the mental angle too. What is the backstory. Why that tatoo on the person and why do they segregate themselves with another person in the room and only talk to them? People naturally go into cliques and withdraw from others for a reason. Thanks for the question, it made me think and get creative myself.

Ray at 2011-09-20 13:12:10:

The Mist did this really well, by having the people group up into cliques who eventually conflicted with each other. And the cliques formed based on the prejudices and strengths that the individual characters brought with them into the space. The drunk, the strong sensible guy, the religious nut,... They ended up fighting each other almost as much as fighting the giant bugs, and this is what moved the action forward. The internal conflict is what made it impossible to just hunker down and wait for help.

beingbrad at 2011-09-20 13:30:25:

For me, the hardest part of this is making the choice of each character believable. It can be really easy to see the writer's hand in the movements. The actions become a function of the plot rather than a function of character.

Scott at 2011-09-20 16:11:35:

Amen, Brad. Often in a contained thriller you have a contrived conceit that has stuck the characters in whatever confined space they're in. If the characters then act in a contrived manner, it's too much. The writer's hand should be nowhere in evidence in any story, but especially not a contained thriller. Such as, "Oh, I know there's a crazed killer on the loose, but I'll go outside by myself to investigate." Whack!