Not that many changes from the script to the film. The changes that were made had one purpose: to speed up the action and to not lose the urgency of the situation.

There are a couple of shots that were eliminated, such as the one with the woman customer in the shop. Instead, they cut directly to the close-up of the guns in the display case. They added a quick demonstration of Paden's skill with the firearm, that's not in the script, and it gives a nice glimpse into the character – this guy looks like a hobo, but there's more to him than we can see.

As Paden looks out the window the sound of a horse was added (1:22), again to add urgency.

The most significant change is the elimination of The Cowboy's facial expression when he spots Paden. This keeps The Cowboy anonymous and perhaps increases the threat. It keeps the focus on Paden and his plight.

This a great scene that demonstrates how music, sound, pacing, camera angles and editing all play a part in building an exciting piece of cinema. From the moment Paden spots The Cowboy, all of these elements intensify and work in conjunction to create a powerful whole.

A great scene in an otherwise forgettable movie. Incoherent story.
And I like Westerns.

A great scene in an otherwise forgettable movie. Incoherent story.
And I like Westerns.

One thing this example really illustrates is how bits of business aren't needed at the scripting stage. It may have seemed like a good idea to have the woman cover her daughter's eyes, the female customer in the store, Paden tapping on the glass, the clerk ignoring Paden, the mention of the bullets being extra, etc., but all those details (which may have added to the atmosphere of the scene and even made it more realistic) only served to slow it down. Those are the kind of details that make a novel wonderful but don't work in film, as they split focus and create drag.

@Annika - "bits of business"

I love that! That's a great way of putting it.

"Bits of business." I call them BOBs for short.

So in order to keep your script lean, you must "kill your babies" and "murder BOB."

I'm reminded of how many BOBs were cut from the Jerry McGuire scene we looked at, and all justifiably so. The clutter was taken out to make room for the emotion. In this case, I think the clutter was taken out to make room for the excitement. In both cases, it's not just about writing tight, but about maintaining focus.

Or, I should say, it's about writing tight, but also about writing so much more than tight. It's about writing clear, with a clear vision in your head of what you want the scene to convey to the audience and the emotional impact you want it to have. You can't do that if you're too cute or all over the map, which is what those accumulated BOBs do.

That's an interesting choice of words and possible distinction: between writing "tight" and writing "clear." While the confines of a screenplay (only 120 pages, lots of white space, scenes generally no longer than 2 pages), tight is pretty much the default mode.

However there are some types of scripts and some scenes where we need to be more expansive in what's going on, so must loosen the reins a bit.

For example, if we're in one of those situations where we are cross-cutting between 3 or 4 points of view, a bomb is counting down to explode, and we are taking about a minute of screen time to explore everything that is going on in like 10 actual seconds with the story universe. In that case, we are slowing down time and expanding on events in order to delve into the fullness of the moment. There the premium is not so much on tight writing.

However in all cases, we should write - as Annika suggests - clearly. Tight or expansive, we must make clear what is happening so what we see in our mind's eye is translated onto the page so they see it, too.

This segues into visual writing, but that's another discussion.

@Saint716: I have started a draft of a GITS post called "Visual Writing" and will write something when I find the time. Hopefully next week. I get into the subject in depth in the SMC "Core IV: Style" class, and will pull some tips from that here.

If your previous comment on the subject is any indication, I'm very much looking forward to it.