This Summer... you're in for a treat...

Kellogg's presents: SNAP, CRACKLE & POP!

in a brand new adventure:

RAIDERS OF THE RICE KRISPIES!!!!

Jack and the Beanstalk prequel: it explores the Giant’s childhood before he turned evil and got his taste for grinding bones to make bread

From the makers of Winter's Bone, The Three Bears. How a heartless young girl destroyed the lives of a family living in poverty.

Awesome! See, this whole movie franchise thing is much easier than we all thought!

Pinocchio: A quest for life

A mysterious fairy sends a young puppet on a journey to find his own mortality.

Pinocchio: Life and death

Flesh and blood, Pinocchio must risk his newly acquired life to save his family from a terrible fate, and possibly die in the effort.

Pinocchio: Resurrection

His family saved, the fairy returns to a broken Pinocchio to grant him one last shot at a real life. But will the journey home prove too perilous?

"Pepe's Redemption" - After serving a 15 year prison sentence for stalking and sexual assault, Pepe Le Pew is released into the world and must face the demons that led him on his road to self-destruction.

Snow White and The Dwarf

In Snow White and the Two Dwarfs - the 1st of 6 sequels - Joe Pesci joins the cast as Grumpy because of his troubles with drive-thrus.

The Newest Testament. The Hangover meets ancient epic vision-quest type of story.

I have this creepy, chilling feeling that there's a studio stooge who is right at this very minute taking copious notes on the comments of this post and will be developing one or more of these before the day is out...

Oh and Alex? That Hangover meets New Testament notion is bloody brilliant!!!

Pandering to Hollywood's apparent love of vikings:

Hagar the Hatchling: the young Hagar witnesses his parents murder and, with a sword he can barely lift and a horse that delights in throwing him off, hunts down the killers.

Hagar the Infamous: After slaying his parents killers, Hagar takes over the killers' gang of marauders and begins contract assassinations of evildoers, eventually becoming powerful enough to topple oppressive regimes.

Hagar the Horrible: Hagar becomes an overweight, henpecked husband who limits his raiding to the dinner table. Then, late one night, there's a knock on his wooden door, and an offer for "one last job..."

@Jeffery. Maybe I should actually write it... with Zach Galifinakis in mind for Jesus...

Galifinakis is way more John the Baptist. Need someone much hotter for J.C..

This reminds me of something I used to do as kid growing up in New Orleans: come up with the worst, most boring Mardi Gras parade themes, as all parades are themed. My favorite: Great Cheeses of the World.

So, how about this for a franchise: The Twelve Days of Christmas, and every day is not only the day itself complete with some modern twist on turtle doves and milking maids, etc., but each movie happens a year apart as we countdown - ha, a franchise that runs backwards! - to the first day of Christmas, thus we'd get a chance to watch the characters grow and change, a la Harry Potter. Except where Potter was limited to a paltry seven films (eight if you count both halves of the final installment) you'd get a dozen - count 'em, a whole dozen - movies from this one idea. That's fifty percent more than the Potter franchise, and you can't argue with that kind of a metric. You just can't.

Seriously, this thread of comments is awesome. I just heard from a producer who predicted - without having seen Teddy's first comment - that there would be a movie based on a breakfast cereal within five years.

If it's a high fiber cereal they base a movie on, we can expect a pretty shitty film.

[add rimshot here]

Thank you, thank you, I also play weddings and bar mitzvahs, don't forget to tip your waiter...

Thank you so much for the idea. Franchising your business is a proven route to rapid growth. Keep posting!

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