First, I am not the Matt who asked this question but..

Thank you to he who did. It is also something I have struggled with over a couple scripts, even though I'd been given answers on how to do it. Like anything, it often takes many attempts to learn a new skill.

An approach that helps me now is on early drafts, if I'm unsure, I write a slug-line even if it seems superfluous. Later I dedicate a couple 'passes' just to slug-lines, tightening and eliminating whenever they jump out or stop the flow.

Matt said this: "An approach that helps me now is on early drafts, if I'm unsure, I write a slug-line even if it seems superfluous. Later I dedicate a couple 'passes' just to slug-lines, tightening and eliminating whenever they jump out or stop the flow."

That's a good approach. Very workmanlike. Nothing etched in stone. You can always revise.

Great example with THE LAKE and THE AXE MAN, Scott. I could picture the action perfectly.

Lem Dobbs is another screenwriter who writes very sparse slug lines. Check out his script for Kafka here:

http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/kafka.html

He doesn't use INT. or EXT. He thinks it's obvious when you describe the location and therefore superfluous.

Example:


EDUARD'S LODGING HOUSE - DAY

Kafka bounds up the stairs.

EDUARD'S LANDING

The door to his room is open. Kafka goes in.

EDUARD'S ROOM

Kafka comes in. Gabriela is here, gathering up Eduard's belongings from drawers.


When I read 'EDUARD'S LODGING HOUSE', I pictured it from the outside first, then when I read "Kafka bounds up the stairs." I was inside. In my mind there was an establishing shot of the building before we went inside.

It's also a great example of directing on the page. First he writes "Kafka goes in." The secondary heading 'EDUARD'S ROOM' indicates a cut and "Kafka comes in." indicates the camera at the reverse angle. All this direction without spelling it out. It's hidden, but it makes you picture the action the way he wants it. He's leading you around without you knowing it.

It's so economical and effective. I'm jealous of this man's talent...

Check the archives and you will find a TON of useful information on formatting. It's really a great resource.

I have one book on the subject and I read this blog daily.

And this is why...

In the "early" days I jumped from forum to forum and quickly realized there are a lot of folks with a lot of free time on their hands (when they should be writing) that will argue and nitpick for d-a-y-s over...

FADE TO BLACK or FADE OUT...

One space or two after a period...

And on down the line.

You will soon drive yourself nuts trying to figure out what advice to take.

As Scott stated stick to the guidelines... but clearly convey what you want the reader to see in their mind.

You are painting a picture with your words...

Some paint with oil...

Some acrylic...

And some with crayons.

Find your style and paint your picture.

Good luck!

@Teddy: Lem Dobbs is a terrific writer, no doubt about it. And I'm shocked to see I don't have any interviews with him. Must rectify that this weekend or next! If you find anything written or on video, please forward to me.

@Courtney: I'm surprised the natives haven't gotten all restless by this OP. Amazing how often people get bent out of shape about screenplay format / style issues. While there may be some value in referring to them as 'rules' when dealing with a complete screenwriting newbie, at some point it's more important to shift over to 'guidelines' and even 'suggestions' because nothing trumps story. So as a writer gets more comfortable with their Writing Self and finds their own style, if they need to bust loose from conventions, just go ahead and do it. Again just as long as what you write is clear to the reader.

That may be blasphemous to some, but all you need to do is read -- as I suggested -- about 20 scripts by professional writers and you'll see it's true.

@Scott: This is how I look at things now and I hope it makes sense to you and the others that follow this blog.

When I was in college I was an art major. Part of the curriculum was ceramics. Raku was a passion of mine because the results of the glazing process fascinated me.

But the result was always the mystery because the process was just about the same every time but the results were different... every time.

I worried my professor sick with questions like...

What happens if I try this...

What happens if I do that.

His advice each and every time...

"Try it and see."

Eventually, I realized there was no magical answer...

But the learning process was priceless.

Ceramic kilns and glaze are like readers. Sometimes the result is magic but sometimes it all goes to the crapper and it's no fault of yours.

We may dot every "I" and cross every "T" but sometimes... it just doesn't work. But sometimes it does.

Follow your gut and do everything you can to make your art the best it can because there are no magical answers. Yes, there are guidelines to help you along the way but it all boils down to...

"Try it and see."

Work your ass off, cross your fingers and pray that one day you catch one eye with your art.

And that one eye... may very well change your life.

http://oldhollywood.tumblr.com/

M.

@M: Thanks for that site -- Old Hollywood. I've added to one of my blog lists.

No wonder why this site has been voted the best for Aspiring Screenwriting. Thanks for being a great resource Scott!

Scott,

What about indicating slight shifts in time in secondary sluglines, ie "MOMENTS LATER" or "SECONDS LATER" or just plain "LATER"? Can that be done, or should the shift in time prompt an entirely new slugline?

Here's what I have now, using two secondary slugs - one without and one with a time reference. (Yes - and as Matt Shields said, thanks the Matt to asked this!)

INT. GEORGE'S HOUSE - DAY

George takes the photo of his grandmother and grandfather on the church steps off the shelf. Except for that one picture, the walls are completely bare.
As is the rest of the room.

George passes a pyramid of boxes marked "Goodwill" and a smaller stack labeled "Storage".
He kneels down, places the photo on top of a stack of neatly folded plaid shirts in his suitcase, zips the suitcase shut.

A KNOCK sounds on the front door, starling him.

George enters the

HALLWAY

And opens the door.

Lyndsey stares at him. Her dress is stripped down, simple now, the hemline frayed and dirty from the concrete. A tattered strand of lace dangles from one shoulder.

GEORGE
...You wanna come in? I just made tea.

IN THE KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER

George pours tea into two cups.
Lyndsey glances around the empty room, self-conscious.

Looking at it, I could also probably lose the "IN THE" part of "IN THE KITCHEN". Man, when you start going over and over and over this stuff, looking for words to pare, it can be a little like having OCD.

@Courtney: Screenplay style is definitely something a writer should spread their wings and try different options. Eventually, as you ceramics professor was wise enough to know, you will find a style that is uniquely your own and reflective of your own voice.

Again learn the conventions and practice them, even use them in your early scripts. But screenplay style and format, like story itself, is an organic, evolving thing. As long as what you write makes sense and looks good on the page, you're good.

"Try it and see." Sounds like a style mantra to me!

@Annika: That secondary slug line works. And as you noted in your follow-up, you can simply do:

KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER