Highly highly recommend Uses of Enchantment by Bruno Bettelheim which is all about this very issue of children's need to be scary, for their psychological development.

This is book is the one book David Mamet recommends writers read, for what it's worth :-)

Assuming you're aiming at kids who are old enough to have seen The Lion King, you should be fine. I know there's some difference between animation and real life, but the death of Mufasa is about as awful a death scene in a kid's movie as I can think of. You just shouldn't be too graphic. Like, don't go on and on about wounds or what have you, but death of a parent is fairly common in kid's films, and the child witnessing it isn't uncommon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXSMYQAfO8k

I'm with James and Ashley here, it's all in how it's handled, and what is needed to carry the story forward.

This discussion has me thinking about the use of action sequences, which I think need to be handled with care as well. The reason I bring that up is that sometimes I just get tired of high-speed chases and the like. Action for the sake of action can get tiresome, as can gratuitous violence. However, handled well, each can add to the story. :-)

Write it how you originally intended. Definitely don't stress about it until after your first draft is complete. Just get it out.

Then, read it, have a few peers read it, and alter if necessary. You can always tone it down if it seems like a bad move.

If there's interest in it, they can like the rest of the script and always request a change be made. If not, then nothing to sweat.

Ultimately, if it's too uncomfortable, you could always write the action in which the audience sees the protag witness the event, but the audience is shielded from the event itself. Example, the protag is in a doorway, noises heard, the protags reactions... if this is indeed a magical, usage of lights and colors help.

After all, let's not forget, some of the greatest scenes of this nature, even in the horror genre, are left unseen. Which, to an extent leaves a stronger impression on an audience, as their imagination can be far greater than anything we show them.

Re: child protagonists are frequently orphans. This is real concrete & maybe simplistic, but I read a children's book author one time who said that in children's books the problems need to be ones that children can solve themselves and the story should focus on children dealing directly with the problems themselves, not going to their parents for help. I'm guessing that with parents out of the picture entirely, it's more obvious that the child can't turn to the parents for help. Also, they don't have to ask permission for things they're not supposed to do. You really need the parents to be out of the way for the child to be a fully autonomous agent.

Also, it automatically builds sympathy for the child protagonist.

On a more psychological level, maybe we all can still feel the vulnerability of childhood even when we're supposedly adults. Once we're adults, we're on our own, whether we're prepared or not, which is what being orphaned symbolizes.

I agree with fractured - don't show the scene, leave it to the audience's imagination what had happened, and there are number of ways to show this. Think of SEVEN, did you actually see the murders? No, only the aftermath, yet the audience thinks they saw an extremely violent film. The audience THINKS they saw it. THINKS is the operative word. The director and writer made us BELIEVE IT.

Bettemheim is good reading in this respect, although keep in mind he's not a squeaky clean figure in child psychology. (He was the one, for instance, who said that autistic children were that way because their mothers were 'cold, refrigerator mothers'.) I'd also be happy to send you other references if you're interested.

I do agree with Fractured though - probably one of the best things I can think of doing is just going ahead and getting it all down, every emotion you're feeling or want to convey, on paper. You can sweat whether this is "appropriate" or strikes the right tone after the first draft.

Re: child orphans as protagonists, Michael Chabon wrote a tremendous essay about this in children's literature:
http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2009/jul/16/manhood-for-amateurs-the-wilderness-of-childhood/

It's well worth reading!

I think BAMBI is a pretty solid example. Earth-shattering death, but it was used to make an exceptional statement about the relationship between humans and nature. Also provided a solid turning point in the protags arch. And this movie was aimed at children (although reached far further than that).

Like others have said, I'd put it in the first draft and see if it sticks.

As soon as I read the question at the top, my first thought was of Batman movies - particularly 'Batman Forever' and 'Batman Begins.' The character's most significant point in his life is when his parents are killed, it's what makes him become Batman, tackling bad guys, like the ones that killed his parents. And he was about 11-13 when he witnessed it. I would definitely say show the parents being killed!

I also thought of Bambi first, but I seriously don't know anyone who likes that movie. The reason they always cite is Bambi's mother's death. It ruined the movie for myself and most of my friends and family. When Little Foot's mother died in The Land Before Time series, I bawled and didn't watch that scene again for years. Both of these movies are aimed at 7 year-olds, though. Maybe 10 year-olds would be emotionally mature enough? I think there will always be kids who will be disturbed by watching human parents die on screen and probably kids who can handle it. But, I don't think you can say all kids will be able to handle it.

Hi Scott, thanks for answering my question - great advice there. I'm going to put a lot of work into making sure I've justified the decision and this has really helped me. My battleplan is to go with my gut and write the scene then send it around and see what people think.

@James - thanks for the book recommendation, I'll definitely check it out.

@ashleyfmiller - can't believe that completely passed me by. Of course there's a horrific death scene already. And I agree that it's awful to watch! I'll definitely read that scene over and over before writing mine.

@Fracture & DSC - I think it's certainly possible to NOT show it. I'll probably end up writing both and sending each scene to different people to see which gets the preferred reaction.

@Daniel - I think it's time I dig out my old pshychology notes! I did a module at uni in children's fiction that touched on this so have a few references, but any others you can throw at me would be great!

Thanks for the help everyone!