thanks for the question/response. im having the same problem. any suggestions on non-formatting cuts. i.e. how can you tell what is important and what isn't storywise scene by scene?

Manwhit, that's obviously a much bigger question. I'll take that up as a reader question if you don't mind.

Cut dialogue in dialogue blocks more than 4 lines long. Unless it's absolutely critical for your character to be making a big speech with a dramatic ramp-up and exciting, emotionally satisfying conclusion. But your dialogue better be really awesome to get away with that.

If you have characters talking to each other over the phone, don't repeat slug lines as you go back and forth. I use "INTERCUT AS NECESSARY" and continue the dialogue exchange.

I also try to keep my scene descriptions to 2-3 lines, max.

So Scott do you mean for example instead of putting:

INT. House - Den - Day
Blah blah he crosses into the

KITCHEN (scene heading)
blah bah blah


DO you mean change it to

Int. House - Den - Day
Blah blha he crosses into the

KITCHEN (action or shot)
blah blah blha

Do you mean like that? Change the KITCHE from a scene heading to an acton in caps rather? Does that make sense?

great- please do. thanks scott.

@groovyaha: I mean this.

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT

[scene description]

[dialogue]

KITCHEN

[scene description]

[dialogue]

BEDROOM

[scene description]

[dialogue]

EXT. AIRPORT - LATER

[scene description]

The shots or secondary slugs indicate movement within a primary location established by the primary slugline.

Note: You can also use shots / secondary slugs to spotlight a character or action within an action sequence:

EXT. WAREHOUSE DISTRICT - NIGHT

[scene description of a car chase]

THE BMW

careens around a corner chasing a --

MOTORCYCLE

leaning inches from the asphalt --

THE BMW - DRIVER

leans out the window, aims --

HIS PISTOL

Fires off several rounds --

BULLETS

tear at the ground, then hit --

THE MOTORCYCLIST

who spins out and slams into --

A CONVENIENTLY PLACE GAS TANK

which bursts into flames.

I overdid the use of shots, but wanted to drive home how they can also be used to 'direct' the camera and not actually use camera shots, so not guilty of directing lingo.

The easiest way my manager hacks away pages from my scripts is what I call his "no added value aka NAV" bit. Basically look at every scene and ask yourself if it adds value to the story, characters, script, etc and if not just cut it. My second script with my manager I cut I think somewhere close to 15 pages with NAV. One of those included an entire character story.

It can be tough to do it yourself since you are most likely "married" to it. Ask a close friend to tag a few areas that could go.

I have never had the problem with having to cut pages. I'm always a "need to add more" pages type of guy. I tend to use too few words and not let moments or emotions develop to their fullest.

Omit needless words.

To elaborate, you are probably describing too much information and/or not using the most expeditious phrasing.

Verbs are you friends. Learn as many as possible and use all of them.

Cut direction to the actor. "He sighs" and the like. You probably have too much and actors hate being told how to deliver shit. I did this in a script last summer and it went from 115 to 110 pages overnight.

Similar to Ryan's "Omit needless words", never use two or three words when one will do.

Or rather: Use one word instead of many.

Or even: Use one word, not many.

Top and tail every scene, so they start later and finish earlier.

Remove all adjectives and adverbs. Instead of "quite bad" and "very good" use words like "poor" and "excellent".

Cut extraneous information from action and scene descriptions.

Check if dialogue can be replaced with visual action.

For example, in a script I'm writing now I originally had two dialogue-heavy scenes, about three-four pages long, where a pregnant girl reacts to news her unborn child is severely disfigured.

I’ve now folded those scenes into one a half-page long: the girl sits in shock at the news, then snaps and attempts to self-harm.

little snips can be good for 4-5 pages, I feel.. but for 10 you might want to try combining 2 scenes or deleting a scene altogether. if only one line in a scene was crucial, you can weave it into a different scene. ask yourself what each scene is accomplishing.

Great post, Scott. I don't know how I haven't seen this before (as I devour your site while working overnight) and as I am deep into the revision process right now, this'll help a lot. Thanks.